Guys, dating was really a mistake. I don't recommend it.

[Hawthorne11]

I broke up with my girlfriend about two months ago, but it just kind of hit me again and I am starting to fall apart. I cannot control my emotions and I'm on the verge of crying all day. I hate it because I know I should get over her and move on, but I still love her and I don't want to forget that, because I have a feeling I'm not going to feel this way about someone for a long time. And what makes me really mad is that I should have known. She's broken up with everyone she's dated and none of them have lasted more that 6 months, so why should it be any different with me? Simple answer: It wasn't. It was the classic "it's not you, it's me" thing but I think there had to be something and I don't know what it is and I HATE NOT KNOWING THINGS. I have to say, I almost regret it because this is worse that not dating in the first place. 

[Olivia05]

4 minutes ago, AceOfSpades said:

I broke up with my girlfriend about two months ago, but it just kind of hit me again and I am starting to fall apart. I cannot control my emotions and I'm on the verge of crying all day. I hate it because I know I should get over her and move on, but I still love her and I don't want to forget that, because I have a feeling I'm not going to feel this way about someone for a long time. And what makes me really mad is that I should have known. She's broken up with everyone she's dated and none of them have lasted more that 6 months, so why should it be any different with me? Simple answer: It wasn't. It was the classic "it's not you, it's me" thing but I think there had to be something and I don't know what it is and I HATE NOT KNOWING THINGS. I have to say, I almost regret it because this is worse that not dating in the first place. 

@AceOfSpades hey I’m so sorry this happened to you. But I do have a question. Do you think it’s her fault that none of her relationships are working? Because it’s not your fault if she’s the one that broke up with you. The saying “it’s not you, it’s me” can be very hurtful because I myself have had it said to me multiple times but that’s besides the point. The point is you can’t rush getting over someone. Try talking to more people and get your mind off of her because thinking about her constantly is not at all healthy (I’m not saying you’re doing that but I’m just saying). I hate that she didn’t tell you why (correct me if she did but I’m just going off with what you said) because you deserve to know. 
Let me know if you need someone to talk to or just for someone to listen to you rant because I might not be on here 24/7 but I will check this multiple times a day at least. But yeah let me know if there’s anything I can do

[Hawthorne11]

Thank you. I don't really know if it's her fault, I just feel like most of the time when you date that many people it's less likely for you to stay with someone and I should have seen that. I think she realised this and was not ready for a relationship and that is what she told me. I have a habbit of blaming myself when things go wrong, which could be why I am thinking this but I honestly think there was more to it. 

[Olivia05]

Just now, AceOfSpades said:

Thank you. I don't really know if it's her fault, I just feel like most of the time when you date that many people it's less likely for you to stay with someone and I should have seen that. I think she realised this and was not ready for a relationship and that is what she told me. I have a habbit of blaming myself when things go wrong, which could be why I am thinking this but I honestly think there was more to it. 

Do you see her on a daily basis? Because if so you could try and see if there’s anything else that caused the break up?

[Equivalent Ways]

4 hours ago, AceOfSpades said:

I broke up with my girlfriend about two months ago, but it just kind of hit me again and I am starting to fall apart. I cannot control my emotions and I'm on the verge of crying all day. I hate it because I know I should get over her and move on, but I still love her and I don't want to forget that, because I have a feeling I'm not going to feel this way about someone for a long time. And what makes me really mad is that I should have known. She's broken up with everyone she's dated and none of them have lasted more that 6 months, so why should it be any different with me? Simple answer: It wasn't. It was the classic "it's not you, it's me" thing but I think there had to be something and I don't know what it is and I HATE NOT KNOWING THINGS. I have to say, I almost regret it because this is worse that not dating in the first place. 

Hey, I am sorry to hear that, and i wont say i understand what you are feeling cuz i dont and i am not you, but I also can relateyour really brave for voicing this and going at it. My advice is that you can't force an answer out of someone, but you can say your peace if that feels right, to close it up for yourself. Feel the feelings, and know that you honestly probably did nothing wrong, they are lessons and you are learning

[Luie]

19 hours ago, AceOfSpades said:

I broke up with my girlfriend about two months ago, but it just kind of hit me again and I am starting to fall apart. I cannot control my emotions and I'm on the verge of crying all day. I hate it because I know I should get over her and move on, but I still love her and I don't want to forget that, because I have a feeling I'm not going to feel this way about someone for a long time. And what makes me really mad is that I should have known. She's broken up with everyone she's dated and none of them have lasted more that 6 months, so why should it be any different with me? Simple answer: It wasn't. It was the classic "it's not you, it's me" thing but I think there had to be something and I don't know what it is and I HATE NOT KNOWING THINGS. I have to say, I almost regret it because this is worse that not dating in the first place. 

Heyy @AceOfSpades, 

 

My heart goes out to you and I feel your pain. It's completely understandable that you're feeling upset and emotional after the breakup. Breakups can be very difficult and it's normal to have a hard time moving on, especially if you still have feelings for her. However, I do want to highlight that these feelings are temporary and will eventually pass, I know it does not seem this way right now, and might not for a while, but they will. It's okay to feel sad and mourn the end of the relationship, but it's also important to take care of yourself and your emotional well-being because it can be such a downward spiral otherwise. From experience, I do think the following suggestions might help you with how you're feeling:

• Allow yourself to grieve: It's okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated after a breakup. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and acknowledge them. It's important to process your feelings in a healthy way
• Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for extra support. Talking to someone can help you work through your feelings and gain perspective, we are here too, and am happy to provide more one to one on confidential if you'd prefer that. I can see here that @Equivalent Ways @Olivia05 have been checking in. 
• Take care of yourself: Engage in self-care activities that make you feel good, such as exercising, spending time in nature, or anything that brings you some sense of joy. Taking care of your physical and mental health is important during this time
• Reflect on the relationship: Reflect on what you learned from the relationship and what you might do differently in the future. It's important to grow and learn from past experiences, that does not mean you shouldn't sit with these emotions because what you're going through is painful, so take your time on the reflection part because healing takes time and it's okay to not have all the answers right now. Focus on taking care of yourself and I do believe that the rest will fall into place

How does all of this sound to you?