Bullied at work

[Lina]

Hi, so there's this friend at work that makes fun of me everytime she gets a chance. 2 years ago We both started to work almost at the same time so we became good friends .I can say she were my first friend at work and I was hers. So I left work for maternity leave and just got back on Sept, and every since she kinda being acting mean and funny towards me . There's this new girl who started a week after I left for maternity and it seems like her and another one who has been longer than both of us got really close since I was gone . I dont know I feel very uncomfortable around her and the other 2 . Eveytime we all together if I say something or do she will find something and make of me or call me stupid and the others start laughing and kept saying "You so stupid" I sometimes followed laughing just because I dont want to show it bothers me but i think i shouldn't . I've been her gifts once in a while and she has too for my baby but still everytime we are with my other coworkers she starts acting mean and laugh about me but when we alone she acts differently.

so I dont know what the problem is I dont think I ever disrespected her in every way in some point I've been caring for her & trusted her .

Now I feel like quitting my job and look for something else. Even my husband started to notice something is bothering I dont want to tell him because I dont him to worry .

please I need an advice I don't know what to do ...

 

[Willow]

Hi Lina,

 

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. This is so much to be working through after having just come back from maternity leave! Your work environment needs to be a healthy one-- do you think work would be more pleasant if there wasn't this to deal with? I'm so sorry you're feeling bullied.

 

You shouldn't be made to feel unhappy at work. But you, also, should feel like the only way out is by leaving your workplace.

 

Would you feel comfortable talking to your friend about their behavior? Their actions toward you in front of others is just as important as their actions one to one. What they're doing is not being a good friend.

 

Here's an article on signs whether a person is being a good friend, just as a reminder-- though, you know that this isn't a good friendship:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/are-they-really-your-friend-15-signs-that-suggest-otherwise/

 

And here's an article on conflict resolution. Escaping the work environment isn't the only way to help the situation-- and talking to your friend may be even better:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/speak-anyone-anything-conflict-resolution/

 

I'm wondering if, because of having had a baby, that maybe this friend hasn't expressed how they feel about the changes of the dynamics of your relationship? I wonder their reasons behind their behavior?

 

Do you have support from your husband? I know you don't want him to worry, but you shouldn't have to work through this yourself. Even your manager might have some suggestions on how to keep the work environment happy and healthy!

 

-willow

Edited November 10, 2018 by Willow