|Life Update|

[_Kai_]

Yooo, so I'm back with another update in the life as a transmale in a homophobic/transphobic household. My parents haven't accepted the fact of my whole new identity yet & my siblings who I thought supported me have been referring to me with my deadname & past pronouns (She/Her), I thought telling them that if they can't get used to brother & he/him, that they could just use sibling & they/them since I'm comfortable with those as well. But the confusing thing is that they refer to me (To their friends & other people) as a male/guy/boy, its just weird they notice that I'm a dude but won't use all the preferred stuff. At this point I honestly don't even think they're trying to support me, I correct them (Alot-) when they use the deadname & past pronouns but then they say "Okay" or "Be quiet", after I correct them (Several times) they just continue right with the sentence with all that stuff as if I didn't even speak. With my parents I don't think they'll ever come around to the whole community, I have asked my mom that in a couple months (My birthday) if I'm able to get a haircut from an actual professional since the last time I did it it came out too short & uneven a bit, she ofc said "No" & "You just cHoPpEd off all ur hair a few months ago" (Tho keep in mind when I cut it, it came out to right above my ears, plus its down to my shoulders now, I also cut it in November so its been sometime for it to grow out). I've been wearing more guy clothes & passing as a male in public more even tho it irritates the sh!t outta my parents lmao. My online friends are VERY supportive of me, which is nice to have all them in my life (I've known em for about a year now). Oh I might also try to get a job at Mcdonalds or a movie theater at the mall near me since I researched & saw they hire people even at 14, so I'm hoping that in September when I'm in high school they'll let me go to a public school because my sister could drop me off at Mcdonalds with her since she also is gonna work there.

That's all for the update for now (Also ik I switch subjects very easily but my mind wonders) :' )

Edited March 31, 2023 by _Kai_

[Olivia05]

7 hours ago, _Kai_ said:

Yooo, so I'm back with another update in the life as a transmale in a homophobic/transphobic household. My parents haven't accepted the fact of my whole new identity yet & my siblings who I thought supported me have been referring to me with my deadname & past pronouns (She/Her), I thought telling them that if they can't get used to brother & he/him, that they could just use sibling & they/them since I'm comfortable with those as well. But the confusing thing is that they refer to me (To their friends & other people) as a male/guy/boy, its just weird they notice that I'm a dude but won't use all the preferred stuff. At this point I honestly don't even think they're trying to support me, I correct them (Alot-) when they use the deadname & past pronouns but then they say "Okay" or "Be quiet", after I correct them (Several times) they just continue right with the sentence with all that stuff as if I didn't even speak. With my parents I don't think they'll ever come around to the whole community, I have asked my mom that in a couple months (My birthday) if I'm able to get a haircut from an actual professional since the last time I did it it came out too short & uneven a bit, she ofc said "No" & "You just cHoPpEd off all ur hair a few months ago" (Tho keep in mind when I cut it, it came out to right above my ears, plus its down to my shoulders now, I also cut it in November so its been sometime for it to grow out). I've been wearing more guy clothes & passing as a male in public more even tho it irritates the sh!t outta my parents lmao. My online friends are VERY supportive of me, which is nice to have all them in my life (I've now em for about a year now). Oh I might also try to get a job at Mcdonalds or a movie theater at the mall near me since I researched & saw they hire people even at 14, so I'm hoping that in September when I'm in high school they'll let me go to a public school because my sister could drop me off at Mcdonalds with her since she also is gonna work there.

That's all for the update for now (Also ik I switch subjects very easily but my mind wonders) :' )

Hey @_Kai_ I’m sorry that you’re family doesn’t support you I know that must suck but there are a ton of people who do support you (not like your family doesn’t care because they do don’t get me wrong) but everyone on here supports you plus a whole bunch of other people! I’m sorry that you have to go through what seems like a daily struggle if I’m not mistaken? If you need someone to rant to and just listen/read what u have to say I’ll be here and I’ll try to help the best I can ok?

[_Kai_]

13 hours ago, Olivia05 said:

Hey @_Kai_ I’m sorry that you’re family doesn’t support you I know that must suck but there are a ton of people who do support you (not like your family doesn’t care because they do don’t get me wrong) but everyone on here supports you plus a whole bunch of other people! I’m sorry that you have to go through what seems like a daily struggle if I’m not mistaken? If you need someone to rant to and just listen/read what u have to say I’ll be here and I’ll try to help the best I can ok?

That means alot & ngl I teared up whilst reading that. But ur correct its a daily struggle, tho I only have 4 more years till I move out so those shall pass by fairly quickly

[Olivia05]

14 minutes ago, _Kai_ said:

That means alot & ngl I teared up whilst reading that. But ur correct its a daily struggle, tho I only have 4 more years till I move out so those shall pass by fairly quickly

I hope so. Im sorry that you have to go through that. If you ever need to talk or just need someone to listen to your rants I’m here. 

[Luie]

21 hours ago, _Kai_ said:

Yooo, so I'm back with another update in the life as a transmale in a homophobic/transphobic household. My parents haven't accepted the fact of my whole new identity yet & my siblings who I thought supported me have been referring to me with my deadname & past pronouns (She/Her), I thought telling them that if they can't get used to brother & he/him, that they could just use sibling & they/them since I'm comfortable with those as well. But the confusing thing is that they refer to me (To their friends & other people) as a male/guy/boy, its just weird they notice that I'm a dude but won't use all the preferred stuff. At this point I honestly don't even think they're trying to support me, I correct them (Alot-) when they use the deadname & past pronouns but then they say "Okay" or "Be quiet", after I correct them (Several times) they just continue right with the sentence with all that stuff as if I didn't even speak. With my parents I don't think they'll ever come around to the whole community, I have asked my mom that in a couple months (My birthday) if I'm able to get a haircut from an actual professional since the last time I did it it came out too short & uneven a bit, she ofc said "No" & "You just cHoPpEd off all ur hair a few months ago" (Tho keep in mind when I cut it, it came out to right above my ears, plus its down to my shoulders now, I also cut it in November so its been sometime for it to grow out). I've been wearing more guy clothes & passing as a male in public more even tho it irritates the sh!t outta my parents lmao. My online friends are VERY supportive of me, which is nice to have all them in my life (I've known em for about a year now). Oh I might also try to get a job at Mcdonalds or a movie theater at the mall near me since I researched & saw they hire people even at 14, so I'm hoping that in September when I'm in high school they'll let me go to a public school because my sister could drop me off at Mcdonalds with her since she also is gonna work there.

That's all for the update for now (Also ik I switch subjects very easily but my mind wonders) :' )

Heyy @_Kai_, 

 

I'm sorry to hear that your family is not accepting your identity and preferred pronouns. It can be frustrating and hurtful when those who are supposed to support us refuse to do so. It's good to hear that you have supportive online friends, though. About your haircut, it's understandable that you want to present yourself in a way that aligns with your gender identity. Perhaps you could try having a conversation with your mom about why it's important to you and come up with a compromise, such as going to a professional stylist together to ensure the desired outcome, but I'd understand that if it's not something that fits well because of the lack of acceptance. As for your job search, it's great that you're taking initiative, do let us know what you decide whether that is McD or the movie theatre. I think it can be a valuable experience and help you gain independence. However, just a suggestion would be to make sure to prioritize your safety and well-being, especially because you're going to be working in a public-facing role.

Remember, your identity is valid, and you deserve to be treated with respect and acceptance. Keep being true to yourself and seeking support from those who uplift and affirm you even if that is the online community here and elsewhere. We here for you fam! 

 

[_Kai_]

25 minutes ago, Luie said:

Heyy @_Kai_, 

I'm sorry to hear that your family is not accepting your identity and preferred pronouns. It can be frustrating and hurtful when those who are supposed to support us refuse to do so. It's good to hear that you have supportive online friends, though. About your haircut, it's understandable that you want to present yourself in a way that aligns with your gender identity. Perhaps you could try having a conversation with your mom about why it's important to you and come up with a compromise, such as going to a professional stylist together to ensure the desired outcome, but I'd understand that if it's not something that fits well because of the lack of acceptance. As for your job search, it's great that you're taking initiative, do let us know what you decide whether that is McD or the movie theatre. I think it can be a valuable experience and help you gain independence. However, just a suggestion would be to make sure to prioritize your safety and well-being, especially because you're going to be working in a public-facing role.

Remember, your identity is valid, and you deserve to be treated with respect and acceptance. Keep being true to yourself and seeking support from those who uplift and affirm you even if that is the online community here and elsewhere. We here for you fam! 

I'll try having a conversation with her about the hair stuff later when she wakes up. Tho about the job stuff, ur telling me to prioritize my safety cuz of me being trans correct? Or is it another reason .,. 

[Luie]

2 minutes ago, _Kai_ said:

I'll try having a conversation with her about the hair stuff later when she wakes up. Tho about the job stuff, ur telling me to prioritize my safety cuz of me being trans correct? Or is it another reason .,. 

Not because of you being trans, but rather it being your first job (please correct me if I am wrong) so just being cautious that's all, does this sound okay? But, you have a good point, making sure to check your employee rights as well wherever you choose to work would be helpful in the long run. 

[_Kai_]

Just now, Luie said:

Not because of you being trans, but rather it being your first job (please correct me if I am wrong) so just being cautious that's all, does this sound okay? But, you have a good point, making sure to check your employee rights as well wherever you choose to work would be helpful in the long run. 

Ahh that makes more sense