Olivia05 Posted March 26, 2023 Share Posted March 26, 2023 About almost a year ago I came out of a relationship and it took me a while to get over him, like just this January (my relationship ended at the end of august) I finally fully got over him and then I started questioning my sexuality more these past few months because yeah I’ve thought females have been attractive for a while but I thought that was normal but then a couple weeks ago I started having feelings for my exes most recent ex. I know I shouldn’t because she’s a really close friend but she’s always there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to like she’s always there. But I’m not that motivated? I guess is the correct word to be in a relationship because some of my past relationships have really made an effect on my mental health but I feel like if we were to date, I’m scared that it’ll be toxic or unhealthy because most of my past relationships have been that way. Also because I haven’t actually ever had a girlfriend before. What do you think I should do? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted March 26, 2023 Author Share Posted March 26, 2023 3 hours ago, Emmerson said: About almost a year ago I came out of a relationship and it took me a while to get over him, like just this January (my relationship ended at the end of august) I finally fully got over him and then I started questioning my sexuality more these past few months because yeah I’ve thought females have been attractive for a while but I thought that was normal but then a couple weeks ago I started having feelings for my exes most recent ex. I know I shouldn’t because she’s a really close friend but she’s always there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to like she’s always there. But I’m not that motivated? I guess is the correct word to be in a relationship because some of my past relationships have really made an effect on my mental health but I feel like if we were to date, I’m scared that it’ll be toxic or unhealthy because most of my past relationships have been that way. Also because I haven’t actually ever had a girlfriend before. What do you think I should do? Also I don’t know how I would tell the girl that I have feelings for that I well have feelings for her. Does anyone have any advice?? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted March 26, 2023 Share Posted March 26, 2023 Heyyyyyyy, I think I can say that you are indeed not the only one. however for me it was always hard, is it friendship or romantic relationship? Like I still have a hard time telling them apart and I know that sounds stupid but anyway i am sorry to hear about your nasty past relationships… I am sometimes scared of being toxic to the people that I love but I also just am straight up honest with them. Like call me out ya know? So idk how to give you advice on the friendship or romantic side, but just the relationship with other humans thing oh and btw, I swear there are so many labels for it these days and I can’t keep up with all of them(no offense, gfu if you can ) but you could be bi? Or maybe it will change over time, normally I don’t get very fixated on it personally. oh and lastly, if you have ~feelings~ for someone, (it sounds like y’all are already friends) you could just not, and be fine with staying friends, or you could be chill but honest again, idk the whole friend vs romantic thing but I believe in you 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted March 26, 2023 Author Share Posted March 26, 2023 Hey @Equivalent Ways, thanks but I would tell her but she’s in a relationship and I also don’t want to ruin our friendship bc I recently stopped talking to this guy and we were friends before and now we’re not such good friends anymore (if you’re more curious read my topic in bullying, social media that topic I forgot what it’s really called but yeah the title is plz help…) I mean we were still pretty good friends afterwards and then I came out to him a couple days ago and then he was kinda judgey and not supporting me if that makes sense? But yeah I just really don’t want to ruin our friendship we already have so I might just not say anything about it unless she brings something close to that topic up. Thanks again MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted March 26, 2023 Share Posted March 26, 2023 1 hour ago, Emmerson said: Hey @Equivalent Ways, thanks but I would tell her but she’s in a relationship and I also don’t want to ruin our friendship bc I recently stopped talking to this guy and we were friends before and now we’re not such good friends anymore (if you’re more curious read my topic in bullying, social media that topic I forgot what it’s really called but yeah the title is plz help…) I mean we were still pretty good friends afterwards and then I came out to him a couple days ago and then he was kinda judgey and not supporting me if that makes sense? But yeah I just really don’t want to ruin our friendship we already have so I might just not say anything about it unless she brings something close to that topic up. Thanks again Yeah I am glad if it helpedI tried hah! But sometimes I just try to continue on I guess. 🗺 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted March 26, 2023 Digital Mentor Share Posted March 26, 2023 11 hours ago, Emmerson said: About almost a year ago I came out of a relationship and it took me a while to get over him, like just this January (my relationship ended at the end of august) I finally fully got over him and then I started questioning my sexuality more these past few months because yeah I’ve thought females have been attractive for a while but I thought that was normal but then a couple weeks ago I started having feelings for my exes most recent ex. I know I shouldn’t because she’s a really close friend but she’s always there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to like she’s always there. But I’m not that motivated? I guess is the correct word to be in a relationship because some of my past relationships have really made an effect on my mental health but I feel like if we were to date, I’m scared that it’ll be toxic or unhealthy because most of my past relationships have been that way. Also because I haven’t actually ever had a girlfriend before. What do you think I should do? Heyy @Emmerson, It sounds like you have been through a lot in your past relationships, and it's understandable to be hesitant about getting into a new one. It's important to take the time to heal and work on your mental health before jumping into something new. Regarding your feelings for your ex's recent ex, it's important to consider the potential consequences of acting on those feelings. It's understandable to have feelings for someone, but if it could potentially harm a close friendship, it's important to weigh the risks and benefits before making any decisions. As for questioning your sexuality, it's important to explore and figure out what feels right for you. It's okay to be attracted to people of the same gender, and there's no rush to put a label on your sexuality if you're not sure yet. Ultimately, the decision to pursue a relationship is up to you, but it's important to prioritize your own mental health and well-being. If you do decide to pursue a relationship, take things slow and make sure it's a healthy and supportive dynamic. If you're not ready, that's okay too. Focus on taking care of yourself and exploring your feelings in a safe and healthy way. How does this all sound to you? 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted March 26, 2023 Author Share Posted March 26, 2023 This sounds good thank you. Sorry I’m like half asleep and don’t know what else to say once I wake up more I’ll say something else but for now thank you MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted March 26, 2023 Author Share Posted March 26, 2023 9 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said: Yeah I am glad if it helpedI tried hah! But sometimes I just try to continue on I guess. 🗺 You’re totally fine lol 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted March 30, 2023 Digital Mentor Share Posted March 30, 2023 On 3/26/2023 at 3:34 PM, Olivia05 said: This sounds good thank you. Sorry I’m like half asleep and don’t know what else to say once I wake up more I’ll say something else but for now thank you No problem at all, hope you are doing well MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted March 30, 2023 Author Share Posted March 30, 2023 Just now, Luie said: No problem at all, hope you are doing well I am thank you! 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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