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the observations of a teenage spectator of life (poem)


TinyDinos    

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guess who’s back at square 1?

 

they are.

 

more visits with him are like continually reaping fruit 

 

from a diseased tree.

 

and eating it

 

all day.

 

then wondering why you can’t stop vomiting. 

 

it’s because you were just ingesting literal poison.

 

imagine that.

 

poison makes ya vomit.

 

who would’ve guessed.

 

he wants to move away

 

he told told them how close he came to doing it 

 

without saying anything 

 

and cutting them off forever.

 

oh the luxury he has

 

to decide to never want to see them again.

 

to decide to not want them.

 

imagine having the freedom to only do what’s best for you.

 

and nobody else.

 

isn’t there a word for someone like that?

 

someone completely void of empathy?

 

oh yeah.

 

“psychotic”.

 

they got glared at today

 

because they had chores to do 

 

that their sister let slip through the cracks

 

because they clean up everyone’s messes

 

it’s what they do.

 

they got yelled at today

 

for helping a lost dog find it’s way home

 

after it was almost hit by a car

 

stay safe clifford 

 

you’re a good boy and they don’t want you to get lost again.

 

they got gaslit and manipulated today

 

the conversations they had three times over never happened.

 

it didn’t happen the way they saw it.

 

they

 

must

 

be

 

crazy.

 

no.

 

they are only disrespectful.

 

thats it.

 

they got harshly judged today

 

because they fell short of his 

 

expectations 

 

they didn’t make it about him.  

 

apparently

 

“ i t s  n e v e r  a b o u t  h i m . “

 

and that’s my fault.

 

o b v i o u s l y ,

 

it’s 

 

always

 

* m y *

 

fault.

 

and im sorry

 

okay?

 

i didn’t mean to.

 

sometimes being a spectator sucks.

 

you accidentally meddle with things

 

and you break them.

 

sometimes so badly that they can’t be fixed.

 

like a family for example.

 

or stability.

 

or self-esteem.

 

but what do i know?

 

i’m just another face in a sea of nobodies.

 

so why should i care anymore?

 

i can’t find a reason why.

 

oh well

 

we’re gonna see what señorita perfecta is gonna do next.

 

is she with us?

 

or is she with them? 

 

we’ll see what happens

 

that’s what spectators do after all

 

we watch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Shocked 1
  • Digital Mentor
1 hour ago, TinyTurtles said:

guess who’s back at square 1?

they are.

more visits with him are like continually reaping fruit 

from a diseased tree.

and eating it

all day.

then wondering why you can’t stop vomiting. 

it’s because you were just ingesting literal poison.

imagine that.

poison makes ya vomit.

who would’ve guessed.

he wants to move away

he told told them how close he came to doing it 

without saying anything 

and cutting them off forever.

oh the luxury he has

to decide to never want to see them again.

to decide to not want them.

imagine having the freedom to only do what’s best for you.

and nobody else.

isn’t there a word for someone like that?

someone completely void of empathy?

oh yeah.

“psychotic”.

they got glared at today

because they had chores to do 

that their sister let slip through the cracks

because they clean up everyone’s messes

it’s what they do.

they got yelled at today

for helping a lost dog find it’s way home

after it was almost hit by a car

stay safe clifford 

you’re a good boy and they don’t want you to get lost again.

they got gaslit and manipulated today

the conversations they had three times over never happened.

it didn’t happen the way they saw it.

they

must

be

crazy.

no.

they are only disrespectful.

thats it.

they got harshly judged today

because they fell short of his 

expectations 

they didn’t make it about him.  

apparently

“ i t s  n e v e r  a b o u t  h i m . “

and that’s my fault.

o b v i o u s l y ,

it’s 

always

* m y *

fault.

and im sorry

okay?

i didn’t mean to.

sometimes being a spectator sucks.

you accidentally meddle with things

and you break them.

sometimes so badly that they can’t be fixed.

like a family for example.

or stability.

or self-esteem.

but what do i know?

i’m just another face in a sea of nobodies.

so why should i care anymore?

i can’t find a reason why.

oh well

we’re gonna see what señorita perfecta is gonna do next.

is she with us?

or is she with them? 

we’ll see what happens

that’s what spectators do after all

we watch.

Heyy @TinyTurtles, That is extremely deep, thanks for sharing this on the platform. I wanted to check with you how are you doing and if you wanted to talk more about what inspired you to write this poem?

Staff-Account.png

10 hours ago, Luie said:

Heyy @TinyTurtles, That is extremely deep, thanks for sharing this on the platform. I wanted to check with you how are you doing and if you wanted to talk more about what inspired you to write this poem?

Aw thanks. I’m glad you liked it ☺️

im doing okayish. Well enough that I’m not in danger or anything but unwell enough to be irritated with myself. 

I had just gotten into my head a bit after a particularly draining day with my dad when I’d written this, so it’s like, super emotionally charged, but whatever. I wrote this like, two weeks ago, and poetry is kinda my way to process my emotions about situations, especially when I can’t express these feelings to someone else in person so that’s what this is :)

  • Digital Mentor
11 hours ago, TinyTurtles said:

Aw thanks. I’m glad you liked it ☺️

im doing okayish. Well enough that I’m not in danger or anything but unwell enough to be irritated with myself. 

I had just gotten into my head a bit after a particularly draining day with my dad when I’d written this, so it’s like, super emotionally charged, but whatever. I wrote this like, two weeks ago, and poetry is kinda my way to process my emotions about situations, especially when I can’t express these feelings to someone else in person so that’s what this is :)

Heyy @TinyTurtles, Thanks for letting me know that you are safe. I am truly sorry that you had a draining day because of your dad. I am here to listen if you choose to talk about it, or else always appreciate the poetry as I totally relate on expressing emotions creatively.  

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