FRIENDS

[jhona]

So I have this friends, she said directly through chat that she's embarrassed while talking with me and she don't know why. Reading that chat from her makes me uncomfortable. It is because, I am trying my best to talk with her comfortably as possible way. I can say that I am not a much talker because I have this kind of attitude that I should think first the words that comes from my mouth.  I am trying to find a secure words for me to be able to convey my emotions about that particular topic. With tht simple word from my friend, enabled me to distance myself away from them and I am trying to cope up myself on finding new friends who can understand me. I know that friends are those who can help, inspire, motivate you in every way in this lifetime. Thats the reason why I am longing to have a true friend who can understand me for who I am and what I have become as changes occur. Even up to this day, I am waiting to have a friend who I can share the happening of my life whether it be from my love life, successes, and problems. I AM JUST CONFUSE OF HOW MY FRIENDS THINK ABOUT ME AS THEIR FRIEND, WITH A SIMPLE FACT THAT THEY ARE EMBARRASS TO TALK WITH ME. I am hoping you could tell me, if I am really not a good communicator or even something good at that.

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[-Aussie-]

17 minutes ago, jhona said:

So I have this friends, she said directly through chat that she's embarrassed while talking with me and she don't know why. Reading that chat from her makes me uncomfortable. It is because, I am trying my best to talk with her comfortably as possible way. I can say that I am not a much talker because I have this kind of attitude that I should think first the words that comes from my mouth.  I am trying to find a secure words for me to be able to convey my emotions about that particular topic. With tht simple word from my friend, enabled me to distance myself away from them and I am trying to cope up myself on finding new friends who can understand me. I know that friends are those who can help, inspire, motivate you in every way in this lifetime. Thats the reason why I am longing to have a true friend who can understand me for who I am and what I have become as changes occur. Even up to this day, I am waiting to have a friend who I can share the happening of my life whether it be from my love life, successes, and problems. I AM JUST CONFUSE OF HOW MY FRIENDS THINK ABOUT ME AS THEIR FRIEND, WITH A SIMPLE FACT THAT THEY ARE EMBARRASS TO TALK WITH ME. I am hoping you could tell me, if I am really not a good communicator or even something good at that.

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firstly Welcome to DLT, now with your friend i can see how her telling you that makes you uncomfortable. If she dosen't know why them maybe try and talk to her and you both can figure out why but in the mean time if you need a friend I am here. I don't think you are a bad comminicator(Even though i don't know you) everyone just has there own way of talking. I hopw this get better for you

[Catsup]

On 3/17/2023 at 11:36 AM, jhona said:

So I have this friends, she said directly through chat that she's embarrassed while talking with me and she don't know why. Reading that chat from her makes me uncomfortable. It is because, I am trying my best to talk with her comfortably as possible way. I can say that I am not a much talker because I have this kind of attitude that I should think first the words that comes from my mouth.  I am trying to find a secure words for me to be able to convey my emotions about that particular topic. With tht simple word from my friend, enabled me to distance myself away from them and I am trying to cope up myself on finding new friends who can understand me. I know that friends are those who can help, inspire, motivate you in every way in this lifetime. Thats the reason why I am longing to have a true friend who can understand me for who I am and what I have become as changes occur. Even up to this day, I am waiting to have a friend who I can share the happening of my life whether it be from my love life, successes, and problems. I AM JUST CONFUSE OF HOW MY FRIENDS THINK ABOUT ME AS THEIR FRIEND, WITH A SIMPLE FACT THAT THEY ARE EMBARRASS TO TALK WITH ME. I am hoping you could tell me, if I am really not a good communicator or even something good at that.

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Hi, I'm Catsup, one of the support mentors here.  I'd like to welcome you here too!  It sounds like you got a great perspective here already.  I do not think it nice or kind of your friend to say that talking to you was embarrassing them.  Do you feel like besides that conversation, that this friend of yours generally respects you and treats you as a friend? Looking at the bigger picture of the friendship might help you decide if you want to try to work things out with your friend or not.  If this isn't a close friend, you might even feel it's not worth addressing.  What do you think about your next steps with your friend?

 

 

[jhona]

Actually, she not only my concern. I felt like most of my friends sometimes exclude me from the group. I am not ugly, nor, stupid haha yet I felt like the reason why it happened to me is also because of myself. Like I kinda think that this is my fault, insecurities is very evident, and a lot of questions running in my mind like "AM I REALLY NOT A GOOD FRIEND? AM I REALLY WORTH TO BE FRIEND WITH?" 

[Catsup]

On 3/19/2023 at 10:00 PM, jhona said:

Actually, she not only my concern. I felt like most of my friends sometimes exclude me from the group. I am not ugly, nor, stupid haha yet I felt like the reason why it happened to me is also because of myself. Like I kinda think that this is my fault, insecurities is very evident, and a lot of questions running in my mind like "AM I REALLY NOT A GOOD FRIEND? AM I REALLY WORTH TO BE FRIEND WITH?" 

That definitely sounds like your friend group is not treating you with the kindness you deserve.  It's easy to feel down on yourself when people exclude you, but it truly is more a problem with them, not you. You are worthy of friends, and I am sure there are people out there who would really appreciate you.  Would you consider going out of your way to make some better friends, and do you have any ideas?