why am i so fat?

[bianca]

i am so fat. i am chubby and i hate how i look. i have tried everything from exercise to weight loss teas. i have a disproportionate body. im short, my boobs are big, i have a tummy and a back roll, and my butt is small. worst body type ever. no boys like me because of this. no one thinks im pretty. i am self conscious all the time and nothing i do every helps. i just want to be skinny and i dont want to be this pathetic anymore. its ruining my life and consuming all my thoughts.

[Karou]

Hey Bianca, I'm so sorry you're feeling so rubbish about yourself. It's crazy isn't it - how society can make us feel so rubbish about our bodies, when actually they're amazing things. The truth is, no-one's body is 'perfect', so when we waste our energy trying to force ourselves to look different, it ends up causing us more and more upset and unhappiness. We literally can't change our body types, so the only way we can improve is to stop hating and start embracing what makes us us. I read a really good quote recently which was

 

“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.� - Lori Deschene

 

I think it's so powerful, because the first and most important person who needs to love you is yourself. Once you love yourself, all the good stuff follows.

 

Try following some inspirational instagram accounts (@bodyposipanda, I Weigh - Jameela Jamil, Danielle Brooks, etc.) and ditch any insta accounts that make you feel rubbish, insecure or not good enough. Women are all shapes and sizes, and they are all beautiful because of it. If you're worried about boys liking you then the first thing to do is to work on liking yourself - because research shows that what people find most attractive in a person is confidence, humour, and something that makes them stand out from the crowd. When I was going through similar thoughts about my body, I found that finding celebrities and other people who had similar features to the ones that I hated about myself can help, because it makes you realise that you can still be attractive, even if you don't tick society's boxes.

 

Anyone who's not attracted to you is just not the right person for you - but there will be loads of right people out there who are attracted to you - who will love your curves, and your shortness, and everything that makes you you. Surround yourself with positivity on social media, and start challenging your negativity when you see yourself - you are wonderful, and you don't ever need to change

Edited November 8, 2018 by Karou

[Blondie]

Hi Bianca, I can really relate to this and have had to work hard to love myself and accept my body and that I will never be naturally slim. I have to work so hard to lose even a small amount but things that helped me are:

 

Only losing weight / getting fit for MYSELF and no one else or their expectations (that includes the pressure from society like advertising)

Doing exercise / activity that I actually ENJOY and not forcing myself to sweat through, say a spin class which would be torture for me!

Accept that change like this does take time (and I know how very hard this is) and some bodies have a natural shape that can't be changed too much.

Doing exercise / activity with a friend can be really motivating - you don't necessarily have to work out with them but going together can really help.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, focus on loving yourself / self-acceptance which is so important that I can't recommend it enough, there are some amazing body confidence voices out there. I've attached some links below - well worth a read!

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/callie-thorpe/

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-i-fell-in-love-with-my-body/

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/meet-the-plus-sized-male-model-whos-killing-it-on-the-body-positivity-scene/

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/we-all-have-insecurities-and-probably-always-will-mia-kang-gets-real-about-her-mission-for-model-diversity-and-how-to-cope-with-pressure/