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I have been having a lot of problems with how i see myself. I feel like i look ugly, Fat,and i look at others and they look good. I hate my body i just wish i could change how i look and change how i eat. I wish i could just change every damn thing about my self. sorry if you read this. this thread it just point less. 

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Aurora
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TinyDinos was awarded the badge 'Great Advice' and 20 points.

The thread isn’t pointless. It’s a vent to express yourself in a safe space without judgement🥰

I know how hard it can be to hate things about your appearance, and my heart goes out to you. I’d suggest a few things to help with this:

Maybe try picking out certain things about your appearance that you like. So instead of focusing on aspects of yourself that you don’t like, you have things about you that you appreciate. For example, I don’t like my weight, and it’s something I’m really insecure about, but to help distract me from that, I accept that I like my hair, and choose to focus on that instead.

this one is really specific to you saying that you feel fat. It’s something I saw online and tried for myself to help with my feelings of insecurity over my weight and I was surprised at my results. So basically you take a long piece of string, rope or a tape measure, whatever you want that works in that manner, and you make a loop that you think would be your measurement around different parts of your body (specifically places you’re insecure about). So for me, I did my estimate measurements for my thighs and belly. Then ACTUALLY measure those same areas and compare the sizes in the loops. From everything I’ve seen so far, our estimates are usually WAY bigger than our actual measurements, and that helps ease that insecurity a little bit.

one last thing that may help would be to reframe your thinking. If one of your close friends told you that they were feeling this way, what would you say to them? How would you react? Then take those replies and apply them to yourself.

praying for you to have some peace my friend, and I’m here for you 🌸

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21 hours ago, -Marra- said:

I have been having a lot of problems with how i see myself. I feel like i look ugly, Fat,and i look at others and they look good. I hate my body i just wish i could change how i look and change how i eat. I wish i could just change every damn thing about my self. sorry if you read this. this thread it just point less. 

Hi! It sounds like @TinyTurtles gave some great ways to deal with the feelings around your appearance.  You mention also wanting to change everything about yourself too.   Can you find things about yourself that you do like?  For starters, you've been very kind here on this community. 🙂

We all have things we wish we could change about ourselves.  But the funny thing is, I bet even the not-so-great things you are thinking, might not even be bad things.  Just an example, if someone thinks they have a big nose they feel self-conscious about, someone else might look at that person and find it cool!  You really don't know who's out there wishing they had some of your qualities.

What do you think about listing the good things about you? 

And also listing the things that are "wrong" and how they might not actually be big problems?

 

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1 hour ago, Catsup said:

Hi! It sounds like @TinyTurtles gave some great ways to deal with the feelings around your appearance.  You mention also wanting to change everything about yourself too.   Can you find things about yourself that you do like?  For starters, you've been very kind here on this community. 🙂

We all have things we wish we could change about ourselves.  But the funny thing is, I bet even the not-so-great things you are thinking, might not even be bad things.  Just an example, if someone thinks they have a big nose they feel self-conscious about, someone else might look at that person and find it cool!  You really don't know who's out there wishing they had some of your qualities.

What do you think about listing the good things about you? 

And also listing the things that are "wrong" and how they might not actually be big problems?

its really hard to find things i like about myseft cause i am a negative person (that may be hard to belive). I always get so many complemtes on how i look and how pretty i am but that just makes me feel worst. I don't know how to feel about it all and i get over welmed to the point where I hate mirrors and i can't ever look in a mirror cause it just makes me hate my self more. 

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22 minutes ago, -Marra- said:

its really hard to find things i like about myseft cause i am a negative person (that may be hard to belive). I always get so many complemtes on how i look and how pretty i am but that just makes me feel worst. I don't know how to feel about it all and i get over welmed to the point where I hate mirrors and i can't ever look in a mirror cause it just makes me hate my self more. 

I do in fact find it hard to believe you are a negative person! Do you think feeling negative has more to do with your emotions than who you really are?  It's very common with people with mental health concerns, like depression for example, to feel like they are the problem.  But really, it's their headspace and simply not feeling at their best,

You mentioned here you deal with bullying.  Do you think people treating you poorly might have affected how you feel about yourself?  Figuring out the source of why you're feeling this way might help you know, at least logically, that you are not the problem.

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37 minutes ago, Catsup said:

I do in fact find it hard to believe you are a negative person! Do you think feeling negative has more to do with your emotions than who you really are?  It's very common with people with mental health concerns, like depression for example, to feel like they are the problem.  But really, it's their headspace and simply not feeling at their best,

You mentioned here you deal with bullying.  Do you think people treating you poorly might have affected how you feel about yourself?  Figuring out the source of why you're feeling this way might help you know, at least logically, that you are not the problem.

i have always been a negative person and it does have to deal with emotions but i also always see the negative side of thing rather then the potive. It may have to deal with how people have treated me but i think i has to deal with just everything that has happened in my life and thats part of the reason i hate me self and how i feel about my body and how i look. 

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On 3/12/2023 at 6:49 PM, -Marra- said:

i have always been a negative person and it does have to deal with emotions but i also always see the negative side of thing rather then the potive. It may have to deal with how people have treated me but i think i has to deal with just everything that has happened in my life and thats part of the reason i hate me self and how i feel about my body and how i look. 

It sounds like you are really aware of how things have affected you.  Having negative thoughts is something a lot of us deal with and a lot of people are able to overcome, even though it's much easier said than done.  Do you think how you're feeling is something that can get better?

Some ideas I have that personally make me feel better about myself are setting small realistic goals about things I care about accomplishing, so I feel like I'm moving forward.  And on the other hand, also doing relaxing things I enjoy.  Sometimes changing what you do on a regular basis can be a first step to fighting the thoughts.

What do you think? And do you have your own ideas for what could help you?

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2 minutes ago, Catsup said:

It sounds like you are really aware of how things have affected you.  Having negative thoughts is something a lot of us deal with and a lot of people are able to overcome, even though it's much easier said than done.  Do you think how you're feeling is something that can get better?

Some ideas I have that personally make me feel better about myself are setting small realistic goals about things I care about accomplishing, so I feel like I'm moving forward.  And on the other hand, also doing relaxing things I enjoy.  Sometimes changing what you do on a regular basis can be a first step to fighting the thoughts.

What do you think? And do you have your own ideas for what could help you?

I think it could get better and i am in therapy to help with that. I have started to feel a little bit better in my body somedays cause i have notice that i have lost weight and that makes me feel better but i don't think it is normal to lose like 5ish pounds in two days. i have tried making small goals and it works for a little bit but them i don't know what goal i should do next. I have tried doing things i enjoy to destract me from things i don't ike about my self like music helps me a lot and it helps calm me down. So i have found things that work for a small amount of time but then it doesn't work. 

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