ADVISE PLZZZ

[Rocko]

So I'm in a terrible situation involving my bsf and her bf. So I've admired my best friend for a while, recently she got a boyfriend who loves her and also happens to be my friend. So about a year ago, my male friend (we'll call him Mark) had a huge crush on my bsf (we'll call her Ninna), mind you they've been friends for a while. He asked her out and she said yes, even though she didn't really see him that way so the next day they broke up. He was really devastated so decided to give her some space to get over his feelings, during this time me and mark talked a lot because I wanted to make sure he was ok. I then ended up catching feelings for Mark. fast forward to this year- he told me how he still likes her a lot and wants to rekindle their relationship, and so they started talking again. So of course I was a bit heartbroken but I had to fake it. My bsf Ninna and I have been friends since 6th grade so ofc she told me how good their relationship was getting. She started leading him on a lil bit despite only wanting to be friends so he decided to ask her out again (in front of my house lol). She sounded like she really didn't want to but I thought it was because she was just nervous because all her past relationships didn't go well so I was supporting him and her to be together. I still liked him a lil but I felt bad for him because the girl he loved didn't feal the same way back and he's so slow that he still hasn't really realized it. anyways now here's the real problem. my bsf is really hot and I always thought about how cute sexy and hot she was plus how she's abnormally smart and talented.  SOOO one day I asked her if they kissed yet and she was like "nooo I need to practice" and I was like "practice with him silly!" but she was like "nooo I have to practice with you". Well, after I resisted for a while I gave in and we ended up kissing that night (my first kiss btw) I know I shouldn't have but I really wanted to. I love spending time with her, she's beautiful, kind, and helpful, and she just really pulls my in like she put a spell on me. so were are still dating but she convinced me it wasn't cheating because it was with a friend. I asked her if she would kiss any other of her friends and she said "no your special".  and I sure did feel special, she had put a spell on me. We started being more transparent with each other, I told her how I was jealous of him and she was reassuring me that he was nothing to be concerned about. I told her how I won't be kissing her anymore because I felt like that was cheating and even tho I liked kissing her that It had to stop. That night I was so caught up in my emotions that I sucked one of my other friends pp (he liked me b4 and told me he was really horny so I just wanted a distraction). I told her about it and the next day we met she was sooo depressed and wasn't talking to me much until Iater the same day she started opening up telling me how she was made that "I cheated" on her (mind you we aren't together she has a whole boyfriend), ngl it made me feel good that she was jealous I didn't know she cared THAT much. The same day she tells me how since I sucked a pp, I should be fine kissing her again. However, this only made me feel guilty after all Mark was still my friend but at the same time, I selfishly wanted Ninna all to myself. When valentines day came around (2 days later) she told me how she might have to kiss him for the first time so she needed more practice with me. I remembered how depressed she had gotten (wasn't eating, looked sick, pouting) and then how cute her expression would be if I said I would. I did in fact kiss her again with her reminding me that it was ok since we're just female friends practicing. She got him a crap valentines gift but got me a cute teddy bear I've been wanting. I no longer liked Mark I only liked my bsf Ninna. Mark is always asking me for advice while Ninna has been telling me how she doesn't like him that much. NOWWW a few days ago she told me that she actually has a crush ON ME and at first I was really shocked even tho she always made it obvious kinda and I told her I liked her back.  At first, I was really happy but then I felt soooo guilty because the means mark is 100% getting played. I voiced my concerns to her but she said she can't break up with him because he'll be really depressed (last time she did he literally was crushed for like a year) which I understand. but right now he's just living a lie, and I'm just the home wrecker. I feel so guilty for lying to him and the fact that we like each other and even kissed while this poor boy is being treated badly in their relationship. and that I like her soo muchhh she's all that's on my mind and I want to do even more with her. but I cant because she's dating mark and won't break up with him. I told her that maybe we should distance ourselves so that maybe we can lose feelings but she insist that we'd be wasting out time because she won't stop liking me. I gave her an ultimatum- either you tell him the truth or we need some space, she couldn't choose so I took initiative and started giving her space/ignoring her. It hurt so much to do this like honestly, it was terrible and then she told me that we need to find another solution because she can't lose me. She told me, even more, how much she likes me and not Mark which made me happy again but still made me want her to mysleft even more. I told her aswll as some of my other friends that she needs to talk to him and tell him how she feels. today she did and I'm glad she did but she didn't include lots of important details and she said she told him "Ive been struggling to realize my sexual identity but its ok we can still date while I do" and he was like "ok cool".  and then she was like "yayyy I did it are you happy for me" I was so shocked that I said yea. but no I was not happy because she said they could still date like no that's the biggest problem LIKE BRO WTF BREAK UP WITH THT MF. idk I've just been stressing over this for to long its hurting my heart. sorry for writing a whole book, thxxx

but also like if they do break up people will trash talk her a lot and he'll be in a VERY dark place cuz he literally loves her. ughhhh idk

Edited March 4, 2023 by Rocko

[Monsoon]

Hey @Rocko

Thank you for reaching out to us. I'm one of the digital mentors here at DTL and I give advice to those who come to us for support. 

It sounds like things have been pretty confusing and frustrating for you with Ninna. I can completely understand why you were shocked when she told him her feelings but they can still date, and I know that this wasn't what you had in mind which must be really upsetting for you. I'm wondering, thinking about the point you're at now with her, what do you think you might do next?

[Rocko]

good question. I think I'll keep sending signals to her that she should just break up with him. But that might not work so idkkk

[Monsoon]

23 hours ago, Rocko said:

good question. I think I'll keep sending signals to her that she should just break up with him. But that might not work so idkkk

Hey there,

I'm wondering, how do you think the signals might go down compared to how things might turn out if you were to tell her how you feel?

[Rocko]

well, im scared that if I'll tell her then she'll get mad at me and just remind me how they barely talk and how they "not even dating fr" so the conversation won't go anywhere. 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Yeah, she could get mad, but she could also really understand; what do you think? Also, I'm wondering, what is your gut feeling telling you is the right thing to do here?