Questioning.

[Melissa M]

I am a 13 year old girl, 14 in April 2023, and I've always thought I was straight. Up until recently, I've never been attracted to another girl before, it's always been boys, but although I've never actually had feelings for anyone before, about 2 days ago (from today) my friend was showing me a TikTok of this girl, and she was wearing a dress, she had a good figure and she she was "swinging" her hips, and I thought this was "hot", "gay panic", so to speak.  Another time, I was watching a film with my family and caught myself watching this girl in particular, not anyone else, a girl. I'm a girl. She was wearing shorts and a crop top and you could see her figure and stuff, and I thought she was hot, not just because of that but also the fact that I thought she was young and beautiful, her hair was down and for some reason I just found myself looking at her. I'm confused, because as I said before, I thought I was straight, but now I've started being attracted to girls too, or just certain things they do as such. Am I bisexual? Omnisexual? I don't think I'm pansexual, because I can recognise someone's gender/body as such when I'm attracted to them, but I'm definitely not lesbian either because I've been attracted to boys before. My friend agreed to let me kiss her to experiment which we've not done yet, but I still feel like I need some extra help figuring out. Could you help me please? Thank you so much!

Edited February 25, 2023 by Melissa M
Correcting

[Luie]

9 hours ago, Melissa M said:

I am a 13 year old girl, 14 in April 2023, and I've always thought I was straight. Up until recently, I've never been attracted to another girl before, it's always been boys, but although I've never actually had feelings for anyone before, about 2 days ago (from today) my friend was showing me a TikTok of this girl, and she was wearing a dress, she had a good figure and she she was "swinging" her hips, and I thought this was "hot", "gay panic", so to speak.  Another time, I was watching a film with my family and caught myself watching this girl in particular, not anyone else, a girl. I'm a girl. She was wearing shorts and a crop top and you could see her figure and stuff, and I thought she was hot, not just because of that but also the fact that I thought she was young and beautiful, her hair was down and for some reason I just found myself looking at her. I'm confused, because as I said before, I thought I was straight, but now I've started being attracted to girls too, or just certain things they do as such. Am I bisexual? Omnisexual? I don't think I'm pansexual, because I can recognise someone's gender/body as such when I'm attracted to them, but I'm definitely not lesbian either because I've been attracted to boys before. My friend agreed to let me kiss her to experiment which we've not done yet, but I still feel like I need some extra help figuring out. Could you help me please? Thank you so much!

Heyy @Melissa M,  I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. Firstly, I see that you're new to our platform and I wanted to say a massive welcome! Super awesome having you join our community. You can start conversations like this or even join other topics on the forums option. We also offer one to one support if you'd prefer that, if you click on 'Confidential Support' in the top bar next to blogs, you can send a request and one of the support mentors will get back to you. 

Now, in terms of what you have shared. Thank you for being vulnerable and trusting me with what you're going through. It is completely normal and okay to feel confused about your sexuality. I am happy to help you figure this out, before we do that, I want to check with you how important are labels for you and is that something you need for yourself to feel more secure about yourself?

[Melissa M]

@LuieHello, thank u soo much for replying and for the suggestions, and to answer your question, labels aren't massively important to me however I still feel that it would be nice to know my exact label x

[Melissa M]

Two of my friends who I've told I'm questioning think I could be Omnisexual but idk for definate, I told my older sister this and that I think I could be omni but with a preference to boys, but she just said although she doesn't care what I am, I'm only 13 atm and that it's normal to question at my age and that I could change my mind when I'm older and decide that I'm actually straight.

[Luie]

6 hours ago, Melissa M said:

Two of my friends who I've told I'm questioning think I could be Omnisexual but idk for definate, I told my older sister this and that I think I could be omni but with a preference to boys, but she just said although she doesn't care what I am, I'm only 13 atm and that it's normal to question at my age and that I could change my mind when I'm older and decide that I'm actually straight.

Does this suggestion from your sister seem helpful to you right now?

[Luie]

On 2/26/2023 at 6:48 PM, Melissa M said:

@LuieHello, thank u soo much for replying and for the suggestions, and to answer your question, labels aren't massively important to me however I still feel that it would be nice to know my exact label x

Ofcourse, I hear you completely and understand it's importance too. I have this resource which I use if I need to figure things out and I think it might be beneficial for you to find yourself a label: https://www.healthline.com/health/different-types-of-sexuality

Do let me know if this is helpful for you?

[Melissa M]

To answer your 1st question, I guess I kinda found what my sister said a bit helpful, and thank you for the link, I checked it out and I think the info is quite helpful however of course I'm still not completely sure of my sexuality yet, however I think that's normal? I think I'll keep researching etc for a bit, e.g. a few months or so, and then if I feel like I'm definitely attracted to girls as well as boys in a romantic way but still unsure of my exact sexuality, then at that point I might just identify as queer.