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help me for tips with my overthinking of this event that happened today


embodiment of overthinking    

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okay so i was on a dating app and a girl messaged me asked for my number and insta blah blah blah she ended up asking to trade nudes and i believed her so i sent and she saved the pictures knew where i was from knew the school i went to (im 15) and went on my instagram and sent the pictures to all of my following. i nearly had a panic attack for the  first time in my life and i managed to block her, turn my instagram account private to stop her from sending it to more people. i asked why and she said she wants 200$ for her to delete them. as a 15 year old from the uk in a dodgy area i very much knew i didn’t have any money. so i told her i didnt and yeah . that was my first and final time sending nudes my trust issues are through the roof with overthinking and anxiety. the only reason i ask for help is because whenever i try and sleep tonight it is haunting me .for such a silly error to potentially ruin the rest of school for me and even my family because i follow them on instagram is insane. i just need distracting methods to get me thinking about something else while trying to sleep. anyone else with issues or problems that you want to share please share them below. typing this i already sort of feel a tiny bit better and think you should try. thanks in advance guys. and girls ?

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7 hours ago, embodiment of overthinking said:

okay so i was on a dating app and a girl messaged me asked for my number and insta blah blah blah she ended up asking to trade nudes and i believed her so i sent and she saved the pictures knew where i was from knew the school i went to (im 15) and went on my instagram and sent the pictures to all of my following. i nearly had a panic attack for the  first time in my life and i managed to block her, turn my instagram account private to stop her from sending it to more people. i asked why and she said she wants 200$ for her to delete them. as a 15 year old from the uk in a dodgy area i very much knew i didn’t have any money. so i told her i didnt and yeah . that was my first and final time sending nudes my trust issues are through the roof with overthinking and anxiety. the only reason i ask for help is because whenever i try and sleep tonight it is haunting me .for such a silly error to potentially ruin the rest of school for me and even my family because i follow them on instagram is insane. i just need distracting methods to get me thinking about something else while trying to sleep. anyone else with issues or problems that you want to share please share them below. typing this i already sort of feel a tiny bit better and think you should try. thanks in advance guys. and girls ?

Hi @embodiment of overthinking, I'm Aurora, I'm one of the support mentors here at Ditch the Label. I noticed that you are new here and I wanted to say a huge big welcome to the community!! I'm really glad you found us. There are lots of others on here, who have had a very similar experience to you and will understand what you are going through. 

First of all, thank you so much for opening up about what has been going on for you. I know it can be difficult sometimes to talk about an experience like this. I would like to reassure you that none of this was your fault! You were having fun online and that's a perfectly normal thing to do. What's not OK is that the other person broke your trust. And I totally understand why your trust issues are through the roof. I'm really sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve any of this. 

It's quite common that something like this will have an impact on your sleeping. It sounds to me that you're worried about the impact of all of this on your relationships with your friends and family and that this is what's keeping you up. Is that right? I'm wondering, have you spoken to anyone about what happened? It might be helpful for you to have someone who can be there for you. What do you think? Also, there are a few things I can suggest that you might find helpful with regards to what happened. I'm glad to hear you have blocked her and have turned your Instagram account to private. That's exactly the right thing to do. If you haven't done so already you could also make sure that all your other social media accounts are private, too. Also, we may be able to have the person's Instagram account and the photos they posted removed. If you would like us to try and have them removed. please can you send a link to your account and theirs with screenshots of the conversation where they threaten you to: support@ditchthelabel.org. Please block out any of the nude content when you send this over.

Also, you might want to think about reporting this to the police because the blackmail aspect of this is a crime, and as you are under 18,  they are also committing a crime by having your pictures and sharing them online. They could get into a lot of trouble for this. What do you think? Is there maybe someone who could support you with this? 

How does this all sound? Please know that we are here for you!

 

 

 

 

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10 hours ago, embodiment of overthinking said:

okay so i was on a dating app and a girl messaged me asked for my number and insta blah blah blah she ended up asking to trade nudes and i believed her so i sent and she saved the pictures knew where i was from knew the school i went to (im 15) and went on my instagram and sent the pictures to all of my following. i nearly had a panic attack for the  first time in my life and i managed to block her, turn my instagram account private to stop her from sending it to more people. i asked why and she said she wants 200$ for her to delete them. as a 15 year old from the uk in a dodgy area i very much knew i didn’t have any money. so i told her i didnt and yeah . that was my first and final time sending nudes my trust issues are through the roof with overthinking and anxiety. the only reason i ask for help is because whenever i try and sleep tonight it is haunting me .for such a silly error to potentially ruin the rest of school for me and even my family because i follow them on instagram is insane. i just need distracting methods to get me thinking about something else while trying to sleep. anyone else with issues or problems that you want to share please share them below. typing this i already sort of feel a tiny bit better and think you should try. thanks in advance guys. and girls ?

This has never happened to me, But i do know some ways you can do to get stuff off of your mind before bed. I like to read or write before bed it help me casue it gets you thinking about what you are reading/ writing. you could also try listing to music. I hope this help some and i hope it gets better for you.

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2 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi @embodiment of overthinking, I'm Aurora, I'm one of the support mentors here at Ditch the Label. I noticed that you are new here and I wanted to say a huge big welcome to the community!! I'm really glad you found us. There are lots of others on here, who have had a very similar experience to you and will understand what you are going through. 

First of all, thank you so much for opening up about what has been going on for you. I know it can be difficult sometimes to talk about an experience like this. I would like to reassure you that none of this was your fault! You were having fun online and that's a perfectly normal thing to do. What's not OK is that the other person broke your trust. And I totally understand why your trust issues are through the roof. I'm really sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve any of this. 

It's quite common that something like this will have an impact on your sleeping. It sounds to me that you're worried about the impact of all of this on your relationships with your friends and family and that this is what's keeping you up. Is that right? I'm wondering, have you spoken to anyone about what happened? It might be helpful for you to have someone who can be there for you. What do you think? Also, there are a few things I can suggest that you might find helpful with regards to what happened. I'm glad to hear you have blocked her and have turned your Instagram account to private. That's exactly the right thing to do. If you haven't done so already you could also make sure that all your other social media accounts are private, too. Also, we may be able to have the person's Instagram account and the photos they posted removed. If you would like us to try and have them removed. please can you send a link to your account and theirs with screenshots of the conversation where they threaten you to: support@ditchthelabel.org. Please block out any of the nude content when you send this over.

Also, you might want to think about reporting this to the police because the blackmail aspect of this is a crime, and as you are under 18,  they are also committing a crime by having your pictures and sharing them online. They could get into a lot of trouble for this. What do you think? Is there maybe someone who could support you with this? 

How does this all sound? Please know that we are here for you!

im pretty new to this platform and guessing this is how to reply, yeah i don’t know their instagram unfortunately as they never followed me and instead just checked who i was following. thank you for the support in this situation as i’m sure that everything will be okay, it’s just now i have restless nights or have horrible thoughts of people finding out. im not horribly fussed when i’m not stressing about it too much and usually forget about it during the day and it’s only until im by myself that it comes back into my thought process and makes me feel horrible. but asides from that, im confident that everything will be okay and about the chats, i instantly blocked their number and deleted all the chats so nothing can be seen and it’s removed from my memory. thanks though.

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cool, i’ll give these methods a try and thanks for the wishes, i think it will get better it’s only as it’s happened in the last 3 days so it’s still pretty fresh in my mind. 

16 minutes ago, -Marra- said:

This has never happened to me, But i do know some ways you can do to get stuff off of your mind before bed. I like to read or write before bed it help me casue it gets you thinking about what you are reading/ writing. you could also try listing to music. I hope this help some and i hope it gets better for you.

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19 minutes ago, embodiment of overthinking said:

cool, i’ll give these methods a try and thanks for the wishes, i think it will get better it’s only as it’s happened in the last 3 days so it’s still pretty fresh in my mind. 

yeah when something jsut happenes it seems worst but i will get better just give it time and you never know maybe the people the person shared it with will forget about it. 

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20 hours ago, embodiment of overthinking said:

im pretty new to this platform and guessing this is how to reply, yeah i don’t know their instagram unfortunately as they never followed me and instead just checked who i was following. thank you for the support in this situation as i’m sure that everything will be okay, it’s just now i have restless nights or have horrible thoughts of people finding out. im not horribly fussed when i’m not stressing about it too much and usually forget about it during the day and it’s only until im by myself that it comes back into my thought process and makes me feel horrible. but asides from that, im confident that everything will be okay and about the chats, i instantly blocked their number and deleted all the chats so nothing can be seen and it’s removed from my memory. thanks though.

No problem. It sounds like you are trying to stay positive, which is great. And you are absolutely right - everything will be OK and with time you will be thinking about this less and less. I'm glad to hear that you usually forget about it during the day.

There are a few things I can suggest that you can try at night time. One would be to catch your thoughts, write them down and then try and think of a more balanced view. Often when we have thoughts around something like this, we tend to catastrophise and automatically go to the worst case scenario. Whereas, in reality,  it's usually not that bad. If this is something you'd like to try then here are some questions you could ask yourself to get a more balanced view

 

You could start of by challenging your thought and trying to take all emotion out of it:

Is this fact or your own opinion?

Is there another way of looking at it?

What would you say to a friend with the same thought?

Then see if you can reframe your thought:

Here it's important to go for realistic, rather than positive

Think about alternatives

Can you think of anything that would be most helpful in this situation

If you can, turn your thought into an action that will make you feel better

Another thing that a lot of people find useful is to listen to a sleep meditation before they go to sleep. There are lots of Apps that offer this but you can also find them on Youtube (just make sure you listen to it rather than watch it as you want to avoid looking at your screen before you go to sleep). Is that something you'd like to try? 

 

 

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