huskey Posted February 5, 2023 Share Posted February 5, 2023 so... it's not awkward. Her and I still talk almost every day. She is so beautiful. I don't even know how I didn't realize that I liked her sooner. I have been seriously considering coming out to my parents but I feel like I still need more time. I came out to one of my best friends and she said nothing. It was in a weird situation so I don't blame her. It was also a Friday so I won't see her until Monday. I can't really fully come out until I am out to my parents. There is only one issue, one side of my family is homophobic, but that shouldn't matter, right? I feel like my parents should know though. I don't really like keeping these kinds of things from them. It hurts me. I don't even know how to tell my parents honestly, any advice? I really want to. I love them both so much. I know that I would get judged by the rest of my family, but I just want my parents to know. It would mean the world to me if they knew and are okay with it. I just want to wait a few more weeks to tell them and accurately understand my sexuality so I can say it with confidence. 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madeleine_357 Posted February 5, 2023 Share Posted February 5, 2023 12 hours ago, huskey said: so... it's not awkward. Her and I still talk almost every day. She is so beautiful. I don't even know how I didn't realize that I liked her sooner. I have been seriously considering coming out to my parents but I feel like I still need more time. I came out to one of my best friends and she said nothing. It was in a weird situation so I don't blame her. It was also a Friday so I won't see her until Monday. I can't really fully come out until I am out to my parents. There is only one issue, one side of my family is homophobic, but that shouldn't matter, right? I feel like my parents should know though. I don't really like keeping these kinds of things from them. It hurts me. I don't even know how to tell my parents honestly, any advice? I really want to. I love them both so much. I know that I would get judged by the rest of my family, but I just want my parents to know. It would mean the world to me if they knew and are okay with it. I just want to wait a few more weeks to tell them and accurately understand my sexuality so I can say it with confidence. Do whatever you think is best. :) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huskey Posted February 6, 2023 Author Share Posted February 6, 2023 14 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said: Do whatever you think is best. :) Thanks. I just need to know what are the dos and don'ts of coming out to your parents if you know what I mean. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Kai_ Posted February 6, 2023 Share Posted February 6, 2023 This post was recognized by Aurora! _Kai_ was awarded the badge 'Great Advice' and 20 points. On 2/4/2023 at 7:21 PM, huskey said: so... it's not awkward. Her and I still talk almost every day. She is so beautiful. I don't even know how I didn't realize that I liked her sooner. I have been seriously considering coming out to my parents but I feel like I still need more time. I came out to one of my best friends and she said nothing. It was in a weird situation so I don't blame her. It was also a Friday so I won't see her until Monday. I can't really fully come out until I am out to my parents. There is only one issue, one side of my family is homophobic, but that shouldn't matter, right? I feel like my parents should know though. I don't really like keeping these kinds of things from them. It hurts me. I don't even know how to tell my parents honestly, any advice? I really want to. I love them both so much. I know that I would get judged by the rest of my family, but I just want my parents to know. It would mean the world to me if they knew and are okay with it. I just want to wait a few more weeks to tell them and accurately understand my sexuality so I can say it with confidence. Hmmmm, have they ever disliked or been weird about the community before? I feel like knowing this key information actually helps alot when deciding to come out, even if its in a couple more weeks. Don't try to stress too much about the planning either, you'd want it to be normal afterwards so I feel like you shouldn't make the coming out part all that huge & dramatic (Of planning & the talking). If your parents are accepting of this new brilliant side of you, then the other homophobic side of the family shouldn't be a big issue, as your parents are there for you & will most likely deal with them there own way. Its completely okay that you wanna understand your sexuality to confirm it & have the confidence you need when coming out. Do realize that there are some down sides IF your parents aren't all that okay with the community & the new you. Some examples would be getting kicked out, getting negative comments, or even getting told your not gonna be like that under their roof. Coming out can be AMAZING though if you fully understand & accept yourself for who you are, if your parents do decide not to accept/support you, I just wanted you to know I'm proud of you & that your an MAGNIFICENT individual. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madeleine_357 Posted February 6, 2023 Share Posted February 6, 2023 This post was recognized by Aurora! Madeleine_357 was awarded the badge 'Act of Kindness' and 20 points. Well... I would say that they should accept you for who you are, even if one side of your family is homophobic. It may take them some time to accept 100%, but hopefully they will, whether it's right away or eventually. I would say ease into it, and let them know this is who you are and it's not something you can change. It would not be a good idea to be agressive when coming out to them, or getting mad right away if they ask follow up questions. It may seem to you like they are not accepting it as who you are, but they may just be trying to get more information. You don't have to tell them anything that you don't want to. Start with what your comfortable sharing and ease into it from there, as you build more and more trust on the topic with them. Now, I've never had to come out, so whatever I say might no be what you should do. This is just my advice as an outsider looking in. If you don't want to talk to them outright about it, you could write it all in a letter and give it to them and continue the conversation in whatever way you see fit. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huskey Posted February 8, 2023 Author Share Posted February 8, 2023 On 2/6/2023 at 11:06 AM, _Kai_ said: Hmmmm, have they ever disliked or been weird about the community before? I feel like knowing this key information actually helps alot when deciding to come out, even if its in a couple more weeks. Don't try to stress too much about the planning either, you'd want it to be normal afterwards so I feel like you shouldn't make the coming out part all that huge & dramatic (Of planning & the talking). If your parents are accepting of this new brilliant side of you, then the other homophobic side of the family shouldn't be a big issue, as your parents are there for you & will most likely deal with them there own way. Its completely okay that you wanna understand your sexuality to confirm it & have the confidence you need when coming out. Do realize that there are some down sides IF your parents aren't all that okay with the community & the new you. Some examples would be getting kicked out, getting negative comments, or even getting told your not gonna be like that under their roof. Coming out can be AMAZING though if you fully understand & accept yourself for who you are, if your parents do decide not to accept/support you, I just wanted you to know I'm proud of you & that your an MAGNIFICENT individual. They have disliked and been weird about the community. That's is one reason I don't want to tell them but I hate keeping these things from them. It feels like I am keeping a whole part of me away from them. I am also not very liked by either one of my parents, which really sucks. They both favor all of my other siblings (5) and they just leave me out of things. One time, they all went to the movies when I was home. They 'forgot' to buy me a ticket. My mom said she thought I was going to a friends, but I had told her about two days before that I wasn't going anymore. Anyway, I know that coming out is something that I should do. I think what I will do is wait for some more weeks, and have a backup plan. Also, thank you. You are also a MAGNIFICENT individual!!!! <3 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huskey Posted February 8, 2023 Author Share Posted February 8, 2023 On 2/6/2023 at 3:37 PM, Madeleine_357 said: Well... I would say that they should accept you for who you are, even if one side of your family is homophobic. It may take them some time to accept 100%, but hopefully they will, whether it's right away or eventually. I would say ease into it, and let them know this is who you are and it's not something you can change. It would not be a good idea to be agressive when coming out to them, or getting mad right away if they ask follow up questions. It may seem to you like they are not accepting it as who you are, but they may just be trying to get more information. You don't have to tell them anything that you don't want to. Start with what your comfortable sharing and ease into it from there, as you build more and more trust on the topic with them. Now, I've never had to come out, so whatever I say might no be what you should do. This is just my advice as an outsider looking in. If you don't want to talk to them outright about it, you could write it all in a letter and give it to them and continue the conversation in whatever way you see fit. That's what I thought too. The thing is, they will constantly be trying to change it. They will not believe me. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayla Posted February 8, 2023 Share Posted February 8, 2023 1 minute ago, huskey said: That's what I thought too. The thing is, they will constantly be trying to change it. They will not believe me. ik it’s harder when you feel like they won’t understand or see you for the amazing person you are. if they constantly change it you have to show them who you are and not that your never gonna change who you are to make who you are, even if they don’t believe you MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madeleine_357 Posted February 8, 2023 Share Posted February 8, 2023 1 hour ago, Everybody_luv_jae said: ik it’s harder when you feel like they won’t understand or see you for the amazing person you are. if they constantly change it you have to show them who you are and not that your never gonna change who you are to make who you are, even if they don’t believe you If you feel comfortable telling them, than do. That way they know who you are and will hopefully come to accept it. That's just what I would do tho. 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayla Posted February 8, 2023 Share Posted February 8, 2023 7 minutes ago, Madeleine_357 said: If you feel comfortable telling them, than do. That way they know who you are and will hopefully come to accept it. That's just what I would do tho. exactly 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huskey Posted February 8, 2023 Author Share Posted February 8, 2023 4 hours ago, Everybody_luv_jae said: ik it’s harder when you feel like they won’t understand or see you for the amazing person you are. if they constantly change it you have to show them who you are and not that your never gonna change who you are to make who you are, even if they don’t believe you Yeah, that's true. 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madeleine_357 Posted February 8, 2023 Share Posted February 8, 2023 16 hours ago, Everybody_luv_jae said: exactly Yes. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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