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i know this is a silly problem to have but... i have what i will call prom from the lack of a better word in english on thursday and i have to go shopping... the thing is i really hate shopping for clothes, especially in malls. it just makes me so dysphoric and anxious. and i get sensory issues from the harsh light. i usually just go with a friend, but idk if any of them can make it today. i just really hate prom ๐Ÿ˜ญ my classmates are shit anyway, i don't find the idea of hanging out with them all night fun. and i'm worried about my mom's reaction when she sees i'm wearing a suit. it all just feels so unnecessary for a party that i don't even want to attend

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9 hours ago, peanutbutterstruggles said:

i know this is a silly problem to have but... i have what i will call prom from the lack of a better word in english on thursday and i have to go shopping... the thing is i really hate shopping for clothes, especially in malls. it just makes me so dysphoric and anxious. and i get sensory issues from the harsh light. i usually just go with a friend, but idk if any of them can make it today. i just really hate prom ๐Ÿ˜ญ my classmates are shit anyway, i don't find the idea of hanging out with them all night fun. and i'm worried about my mom's reaction when she sees i'm wearing a suit. it all just feels so unnecessary for a party that i don't even want to attend

Heyy @peanutbutterstruggles, it's not a silly problem at all. I see why it's an internal conflict for you to go for prom this week. I wanted to check with you whether your friends are making you go for prom or you do want to attend?ย 

Also, I totally understand how store lights can trigger sensory issues, would it be easier to look up something online? (If you want to do it with a friend you could ask them for a video chat too) How does this sound to you?

About your mom, I know it can be such a scary feeling because you're going to be wearing a suit, is there anything that you think will be helpful beforehand to make this easier for you?

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hey @Luie, thanks for your response! actually, none of my friends are very eager to go because our classmates decided to hate one of us randomly and we haven't been very popular. it's a long story, we are actually fine on our own, but we don't find the idea of hanging out with classmates appealing. so i'm not being forced ๐Ÿ˜ญ we still want to go because it' our night too and we won't let anyone ruin that for us lol

i actually went shopping a few hours ago and it went well! :) i went to a different mall that's much farther away from me, but much bigger and with much less people than the one i usually go to. that definitely helped a lot cos i find crowds overwhelming. i got the parts of my outfit that i needed and i'm actually really happy with them :) my parents of course aren't stoked, they've already critized my choices but i like what i chose so i don't care

i'm more worried what they'll say when they see the rest of my outfit ๐Ÿฅฒ i usually dress pretty androgynous and they aren't happy about it either, but for prom i'm going much more masculine and i know they will be openly unsupportive of that. i was thinking of changing at my friend's place, since she's lending me her clothes, but i'm not sure that's possible. she's had a fight with her parents and idk if they'll let her have me over and i don't want to get her in trouble. i'll have to ask my other friends if they're available but i think they aren't. alternatively, i could also go to my friend who lives in the neighbourhood but she's not even from our school. or maybe invite her over? they won't be openly mean when she's there. i literally just thought of that LOL! i'll text her and see if she has time on thursday

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20 hours ago, peanutbutterstruggles said:

hey @Luie, thanks for your response! actually, none of my friends are very eager to go because our classmates decided to hate one of us randomly and we haven't been very popular. it's a long story, we are actually fine on our own, but we don't find the idea of hanging out with classmates appealing. so i'm not being forced ๐Ÿ˜ญ we still want to go because it' our night too and we won't let anyone ruin that for us lol

i actually went shopping a few hours ago and it went well! :) i went to a different mall that's much farther away from me, but much bigger and with much less people than the one i usually go to. that definitely helped a lot cos i find crowds overwhelming. i got the parts of my outfit that i needed and i'm actually really happy with them :) my parents of course aren't stoked, they've already critized my choices but i like what i chose so i don't care

i'm more worried what they'll say when they see the rest of my outfit ๐Ÿฅฒ i usually dress pretty androgynous and they aren't happy about it either, but for prom i'm going much more masculine and i know they will be openly unsupportive of that. i was thinking of changing at my friend's place, since she's lending me her clothes, but i'm not sure that's possible. she's had a fight with her parents and idk if they'll let her have me over and i don't want to get her in trouble. i'll have to ask my other friends if they're available but i think they aren't. alternatively, i could also go to my friend who lives in the neighbourhood but she's not even from our school. or maybe invite her over? they won't be openly mean when she's there. i literally just thought of that LOL! i'll text her and see if she has time on thursday

Heyy @peanutbutterstruggles, It's definitely your night too, you're right and I am glad you're not letting other people come in your way for that. I am excited for you to get all suited up and go for the prom, it's awesome that you found all the accessories for your suit. I know the logistics of it all with your parents not being supportive does hurt you, I am sorry about that. I think inviting a friend over to get dressed together might be helpful because parents mostly don't express their real emotions in front of othersย ๐Ÿ˜‹

Looking forward to hearing all about it how it goes for you!

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17 minutes ago, Luie said:

Heyy @peanutbutterstruggles, It's definitely your night too, you're right and I am glad you're not letting other people come in your way for that. I am excited for you to get all suited up and go for the prom, it's awesome that you found all the accessories for your suit. I know the logistics of it all with your parents not being supportive does hurt you, I am sorry about that. I think inviting a friend over to get dressed together might be helpful because parents mostly don't express their real emotions in front of othersย ๐Ÿ˜‹

Looking forward to hearing all about it how it goes for you!

my friend said yes so i really hope it works out!!ย 

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i hope you had an amazing time at prom! I admire your confidence to wear a suit to prom, something i really want to do in the future, but i doubt my parents will like it.

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On 1/31/2023 at 11:06 PM, Natalie G said:

i hope you had an amazing time at prom! I admire your confidence to wear a suit to prom, something i really want to do in the future, but i doubt my parents will like it.

Heyy @Natalie G, I am Luie, one of the support mentors. I couldn't help but notice your message, would you like to share more about your feelings? Here for you. You can reach out on Confidential support as well if you require a bit more privacy.ย 

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On 2/1/2023 at 12:06 AM, Natalie G said:

i hope you had an amazing time at prom! I admire your confidence to wear a suit to prom, something i really want to do in the future, but i doubt my parents will like it.

thank you so much! :) it was actually really fun <3ย 

ย i understand why you're concerned abt it. i mean i had the same problem, but i decided it was my prom, not my parents', and i was gonna wear what i felt comfortable in. fortunately, it went alright and my parents didn't say anything, but i know that i got very lucky and not everyone can have that.

turns out having a friend over while you're getting ready is a good idea! i definitely recommend that. you can also go over to your friend's house and change there? or eventually, if you think your parents would make it unsafe for you if you were to wear a suit, but you definitely don't want to wear something else, you could always try to skip prom, pretend you're sick or just not go

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