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I Thought I had this figured Out!


Crystaliana ย  ย 

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Last year I was able to reconcile my spirituality with my beliefs surrounding sexuality and relationships and I thought that would be the end of it. I was so happy that I finally got that figured out and was ready to settle into the rest of my life. However, recently I have been asking myself if I am bisexual or pansexual and I can't stop thinking about those questions. I took some quizzes online on the topic and most of them say that I am probably bisexual. One said alternating bisexual and the other said pansexual. I really want to explore these options but don't know where to start.

I have been thinking about contacting some of my LGBTQ+ friends about it but something about that doesn't seem right to me. I don't want them to feel like they have to help me sort through these feelings cause that's not their job. I don't know what to do and I am trying really hard to keep myself from pushing this away instead of dealing with it.

It doesn't help that I go to a Wesleyan University.

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hmm, i hear why you don't want to bring it up to your friends, but i still think it's a good idea to tell them. you can ask for their opinion on it, tell them if they don't want to, it's fine. do keep in mind that just because someone is LGBT+ , doesn't mean their opinion on queer stuff is always pure truth. there's a lot of varied views of sexuality and gender in the community. however, if you are so conflicted, maybe talking about it with someone you trust would help?

okay, here's my personal view of the situation: the difference between bisexual and pansexual is in the details. in the bisexual manifesto, bisexuality is defined the same way as pansexuality (attraction regardless of gender), however, if someone wants to put more emphasis on it, pansexual offers it. it's like, it's a more specific label. it really depends on your feelings only - do you think gender matters to you, or doesn't? which label feels more fitting and comfortable? do you care about the distinction between bi and pan? there are also other multigender attraction labels, for example omnisexuality. maybe you could look into those?

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Alright, you called me out on the same contradiction that my own brain did. I will reach out to some of my friends to get their take on it. Also, I feel as if I just want to love someone for their personality, values, and lifestyle and not their looks, past, or gender. To make it more complicated I am currently in a relationship with a male and I am happy in this relationship. i don't know why these questions about my sexuality are coming up now.

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32 minutes ago, Crystaliana said:

Alright, you called me out on the same contradiction that my own brain did. I will reach out to some of my friends to get their take on it. Also, I feel as if I just want to love someone for their personality, values, and lifestyle and not their looks, past, or gender. To make it more complicated I am currently in a relationship with a male and I am happy in this relationship. i don't know why these questions about my sexuality are coming up now.

If your more into personality & lifestyle rather than looks & gender, then you may be pansexual?ย 

Hmmmmmmmm, perhaps u met new people & it made u question ur sexuality? Or it could just be ur mind opening up to other genders in the terms of dating? Either way we'll support & be here for ur journey๐Ÿ‘

Edited by _Kai_
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1 hour ago, _Kai_ said:

If your more into personality & lifestyle rather than looks & gender, then you may be pansexual?ย 

Hmmmmmmmm, perhaps u met new people & it made u question ur sexuality? Or it could just be ur mind opening up to other genders in the terms of dating? Either way we'll support & be here for ur journey๐Ÿ‘

That makes a lot of sense to me. Being pan means I don't look for certain genders but rather how someone carries themselves. Saying I am pan feels right but is something that you just declare and then start living that way? Should I take some more time to explore these questions about my sexuality before moving on to the next problem in my life?

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7 minutes ago, Crystaliana said:

That makes a lot of sense to me. Being pan means I don't look for certain genders but rather how someone carries themselves. Saying I am pan feels right but is something that you just declare and then start living that way? Should I take some more time to explore these questions about my sexuality before moving on to the next problem in my life?

Thereโ€™s no right or wrong way to be pan ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’™

And as far as taking time to explore them goes, I think perusing self-discovery should be a constant thing, even in regards to things unrelated to sexuality. People are always growing, adapting and changing. Itโ€™s okay to change your mind ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒธ

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7 minutes ago, TinyDinos said:

Thereโ€™s no right or wrong way to be pan ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’™

And as far as taking time to explore them goes, I think perusing self-discovery should be a constant thing, even in regards to things unrelated to sexuality. People are always growing, adapting and changing. Itโ€™s okay to change your mind ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒธ

Man, I wish I could have sounded as wise as you when I was 16! Thanks

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2 minutes ago, Crystaliana said:

Man, I wish I could have sounded as wise as you when I was 16! Thanks

Awww thank you ๐Ÿฅฐ

It comes from a lot of experience when it comes to the hard stuff. Iโ€™m glad I was able to help at least a little bit though โค๏ธ

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