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I think I need new friends. Any advice on the whole situation?


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I have a handful of "friends" that I actually hang out with. All of my friends seem to take advantage of me or just be plain rude to me. I fully realize that I'm not always the best friend, I can often be seen as flaky, but although I may occasionally have to miss hanging out with them I'm always there for them when they need someone. They always seem to just put me down, for example they will often make fun of the way I dress, or the way I drive ( like a grandma). I feel like they always put their needs in front of mine and I always mend to their needs and they aren't appreciative of it. One of my friends is pleasant to be around when its just the 2 of us but when we get with my other friends she joins in on the behaviors that really annoy me. My friends will often as for ridiculous favors and when I say that I can't they will basically throw a fit and say how bad of a friend I am, but if I ask for a simple favor like helping me carry something they act like they have absolutely no time for me. I have even done some of the ridiculous favors for them hoping that they'd respect me enough to return a simple favor but they really don't. I can see that they are good people to others so I don't understand why they don't treat me their friend with even half the respect they do with others including each other. I don't want to sound conceited but I truly believe I am a good person, I always try to assume the best of people and treat everyone with equal respect so I don't understand why people who i consider my friends treat me this way when I treat them kindly. I am quite a shy person and suffer from social anxiety so I have trouble initiating conversations, except in front of these friends because i've known them for a while i've talked to them about how i feel before and they often just dismiss my feelings i know it's time to find new friends but i really struggle doing that and i don't know how to end these friendships. I'm considering just keeping the friendships until I graduate so i can let the friendships naturally drift apart but i don't think i can spend another year being unhappy. I want just one good friendship where the both of us are happy and comfortable.

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Hi there Weeber1103!


Welcome to Community! Thank you for sharing.. I know a lot of us on Community have experienced unhealthy friendships.


I think it's great that you're taking a hard look at your friendships, and seeing if they're really your friends. Have you checked this article out, just to compare your experience?




I do think that your "friendships" need to have a shift. You're not happy in them... I'm glad that you have a friend who you can have a good time with one-to-one. Do you think you coudl share with them how you feel about the group's behavior toward you?


This is some advice about conflict resolution that might help that conversations:




I can understand how changing your friendships would cause some worrying, though. Here's some tips on overcoming social anxiety:




Hope these articles help!




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