Why…

[Huxley]

Hi… I don’t know why I write hi every time but anyway I just need to get things off my chest. First I have no idea what to do with my life and my sister and almost everyone else knows what they want to do and I don’t I’m very lost Second, for some strange reason I’m always angry and upset and I don’t know why it’s like I’m just stuck in this mood and I hate it, I think that @AceOfSpades said it when she posted about emotions. And I agree emotions SUCK one minute your great the next your so angry you almost break a hole into the wall. I like to push people away when they try and help and I hate them and myself. And third,  I know a lot of people think that middle kids have this thing where we think we don’t get attention or stuff like that and I am a middle child and I have to wholeheartedly DISAGREE with whoever says that because it’s true when you look at a family like that the middle is always somewhere else because we don’t for in with our family so we branch out to other people. In the conclusion of this I think that I’m just lost and in crossroads and yet somehow under a car, I know I need help in more areas than one but I just can’t talk to some stranger whose going to say that “im fine and your ok” because I know that is a lie and here people are actually REAL.  -Huxley

Edited January 20, 2023 by Huxley

[Monsoon]

Hey @Huxley

Thank you for being so open with us. I can really sense that you are at a point where you don't know what to do next, at a bit of a loose end, as people say. I can see that you've mentioned a few things, and I'm wondering, what are you hoping to get out of support here? Do you just want somewhere to talk and vent, or would you like advice on any of those things in particular? I just want to check first, because by doing this, I can then make sure you get the most out of our community. Speak soon. 

[_Kai_]

13 hours ago, Huxley said:

Hi… I don’t know why I write hi every time but anyway I just need to get things off my chest. First I have no idea what to do with my life and my sister and almost everyone else knows what they want to do and I don’t I’m very lost Second, for some strange reason I’m always angry and upset and I don’t know why it’s like I’m just stuck in this mood and I hate it, I think that @AceOfSpades said it when she posted about emotions. And I agree emotions SUCK one minute your great the next your so angry you almost break a hole into the wall. I like to push people away when they try and help and I hate them and myself. And third,  I know a lot of people think that middle kids have this thing where we think we don’t get attention or stuff like that and I am a middle child and I have to wholeheartedly DISAGREE with whoever says that because it’s true when you look at a family like that the middle is always somewhere else because we don’t for in with our family so we branch out to other people. In the conclusion of this I think that I’m just lost and in crossroads and yet somehow under a car, I know I need help in more areas than one but I just can’t talk to some stranger whose going to say that “im fine and your ok” because I know that is a lie and here people are actually REAL.  -Huxley

Hmmmmm, you could try listing some of the things you enjoy now for future jobs, though life can take us anywhere so don't freak out too much if u don't got a plan yet

I do agree with the whole "Emotions suck", but we gotta have hope & think that all the bad moments we've had in life are leading us to a huge happy moment. I'm not good at comforting people or serious situations but I hope this helped even a tad bit TvT

[peanutbutterstruggles]

17 hours ago, Huxley said:

Hi… I don’t know why I write hi every time but anyway I just need to get things off my chest. First I have no idea what to do with my life and my sister and almost everyone else knows what they want to do and I don’t I’m very lost Second, for some strange reason I’m always angry and upset and I don’t know why it’s like I’m just stuck in this mood and I hate it, I think that @AceOfSpades said it when she posted about emotions. And I agree emotions SUCK one minute your great the next your so angry you almost break a hole into the wall. I like to push people away when they try and help and I hate them and myself. And third,  I know a lot of people think that middle kids have this thing where we think we don’t get attention or stuff like that and I am a middle child and I have to wholeheartedly DISAGREE with whoever says that because it’s true when you look at a family like that the middle is always somewhere else because we don’t for in with our family so we branch out to other people. In the conclusion of this I think that I’m just lost and in crossroads and yet somehow under a car, I know I need help in more areas than one but I just can’t talk to some stranger whose going to say that “im fine and your ok” because I know that is a lie and here people are actually REAL.  -Huxley

hey, sorry to hear that, seems you were having a rough time. are you feeling better now?

first of all, i totally get feeling lost. i'm graduating high school soon, and i have no idea what i should do. it's probably not the same as your situation, but i can really understand how frustrating and stressing it is. you aren't alone in this! don't worry, you will figure it out eventually. it's stupid that we have to decide what we want to do in life when we are so young and unexperienced. but most people don't end up working in the field they were studying anyway, so don't worry. let yourself experiment and find something you are interested in, if that's available. 

i agree emotions do suck. you never know what they mean. did something happen that inspired this post, especially the part about being angry? no worries if you don't feel comfortable sharing that. but please know this is a safe space for you, do let us know how we can support you

[Huxley]

Ok  sry I hav not replied yet I’ve just been busy and not sure how exactly I should reply but here goes nothing…

ok yes there were a few thing that had happened that I snapped and just came here to get a friend and support. To answer @Monsoon I kinda want to get advice and vent a bit but I think I’m looking for help (although help doesn’t seem like the right word..) Next I want to respond to @_Kai_ the planning helped and you are good at “comforting” people this really helped. And last but not least @peanutbutterstruggles I’m some what feeling better thanks to everyone’s posts ( thank you guys!) to answer your question about what inspired me to write this would be a mix of things and instead of feeling sad or frustrated I just feel angry, and some times it’s all the time. But I’m the kinda person who doesn’t let anyone see there feelings so…  Part of the reason I wrote this was because I’m always overshadowed by my older sister (middle kid)  and even tho she’s my older sister she’s kinda follows EVERY thing I do for example I wanted to go to New York for college and other reasons but she said she wanted to go to California for the longest time and when I said that she started looking at schools in ny. Anyway sry for blabbering I just don’t know what to do.

[Monsoon]

18 hours ago, Huxley said:

Ok  sry I hav not replied yet I’ve just been busy and not sure how exactly I should reply but here goes nothing…

ok yes there were a few thing that had happened that I snapped and just came here to get a friend and support. To answer @Monsoon I kinda want to get advice and vent a bit but I think I’m looking for help (although help doesn’t seem like the right word..) Next I want to respond to @_Kai_ the planning helped and you are good at “comforting” people this really helped. And last but not least @peanutbutterstruggles I’m some what feeling better thanks to everyone’s posts ( thank you guys!) to answer your question about what inspired me to write this would be a mix of things and instead of feeling sad or frustrated I just feel angry, and some times it’s all the time. But I’m the kinda person who doesn’t let anyone see there feelings so…  Part of the reason I wrote this was because I’m always overshadowed by my older sister (middle kid)  and even tho she’s my older sister she’s kinda follows EVERY thing I do for example I wanted to go to New York for college and other reasons but she said she wanted to go to California for the longest time and when I said that she started looking at schools in ny. Anyway sry for blabbering I just don’t know what to do.

Hey there,

Sure thing, we can talk more and maybe have a think about what you might want to do next; it's always good to check in and see what our members want out of support so we can make sure it's tailored to them. I'm wondering, out of the things you spoke about originally, which one is bothering you the most? It might be helpful to talk about that one first if you'd find that useful?

[Huxley]

4 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Sure thing, we can talk more and maybe have a think about what you might want to do next; it's always good to check in and see what our members want out of support so we can make sure it's tailored to them. I'm wondering, out of the things you spoke about originally, which one is bothering you the most? It might be helpful to talk about that one first if you'd find that useful?

I don’t really know which one to talk about first…. I’m kinda one of those people who say they’re fine but are hurt. I guess that’s the mask I wear

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

That's okay that you don't know. I'm saw what you said about how you say you're okay when you're hurt and how you're always angry and upset. I'm wondering, can you tell me more about those things? What's it like when you say you're okay instead of how you really feel? Also, where do you think all the upset and anger are coming from?