I feel like I'm just ugly

[NoLifeAaron]

I've pretty much been the scrawny ugly kid almost my whole life. I been bullied for it and a lot of people made comments about it. About a year ago I started working out but now I feel like I'm just ugly but with muscle

[-Leila-]

2 hours ago, NoLifeAaron said:

I've pretty much been the scrawny ugly kid almost my whole life. I been bullied for it and a lot of people made comments about it. About a year ago I started working out but now I feel like I'm just ugly but with muscle

Hi there,

im sorry you’ve been bullied and called ugly, I know for sure that you aren’t ugly. Ugly is a cruel word that shouldn’t be used as it put others down and makes them change.

I can relate to the being called ugly, I’ve lost a lot of weight thanks to my bullying.

im going to tag the support mentors so I’m the future if you need support you know where to go. 
 

@Digital Mentor

[Luie]

12 hours ago, NoLifeAaron said:

I've pretty much been the scrawny ugly kid almost my whole life. I been bullied for it and a lot of people made comments about it. About a year ago I started working out but now I feel like I'm just ugly but with muscle

Heyy @NoLifeAaron, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label.  I see that you're new to our community, so the warmest welcome from all of us. You can make posts on the community like you have with this one or even choose to reach out for one to one  confidential support - CS (in the top tab next to blogs). 

Bullies are insulting and vicious because they want to make other people's lives miserable, that's basically how they make themselves feel powerful and I am truly sorry that you have been bullied by multiple people verbally. I can say multiple things to you right now like forget them and their nasty words, they don't deserve to have power over you, or one of the most cliché ones 'Karma will remember them and ensure that their karmic overdraft is repaid with interest.' (bad finance joke - sorry about that). Instead, I want to focus on you here.

Are you up for sharing with me about yourself a bit more in terms of the person you are, your definition of pretty and ugly? and the start of bullying in your life? Because it sounds to me that you're someone who is determined, disciplined, focused and so much more (e.g. working out and building muscle), but there is a whole lot more and I'd like to hear it all (You can choose to send a message on CS if you're more comfortable one to one, otherwise feel free to reply here itself). 

[peanutbutterstruggles]

On 1/13/2023 at 7:07 AM, NoLifeAaron said:

I've pretty much been the scrawny ugly kid almost my whole life. I been bullied for it and a lot of people made comments about it. About a year ago I started working out but now I feel like I'm just ugly but with muscle

i'm really sorry to hear you've been made to feel that way :/ i can't really give you useful advice because i grew up "ugly" too, but just know that you're not alone and here on DTL, you have a safe space to talk about your feelings

[NoLifeAaron]

On 1/13/2023 at 1:22 PM, Luie said:

Heyy @NoLifeAaron, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label.  I see that you're new to our community, so the warmest welcome from all of us. You can make posts on the community like you have with this one or even choose to reach out for one to one  confidential support - CS (in the top tab next to blogs). 

Bullies are insulting and vicious because they want to make other people's lives miserable, that's basically how they make themselves feel powerful and I am truly sorry that you have been bullied by multiple people verbally. I can say multiple things to you right now like forget them and their nasty words, they don't deserve to have power over you, or one of the most cliché ones 'Karma will remember them and ensure that their karmic overdraft is repaid with interest.' (bad finance joke - sorry about that). Instead, I want to focus on you here.

Are you up for sharing with me about yourself a bit more in terms of the person you are, your definition of pretty and ugly? and the start of bullying in your life? Because it sounds to me that you're someone who is determined, disciplined, focused and so much more (e.g. working out and building muscle), but there is a whole lot more and I'd like to hear it all (You can choose to send a message on CS if you're more comfortable one to one, otherwise feel free to reply here 

Honestly tysm. 

Tbh I'm a very outgoing person and now that I'm in high school I make friends really easily and I'm just kind of known as one of those chill guys that everyone knows. Tbh I believe that beauty and attractiveness is subjective. People have been making comments about me for pretty much all my life, only now are most of those comments positive. As for bullying, I've been bullied for my looks in elementary school a lot. Thank god I went to a high school with completely different people. Ofc until around june people would still make comments about me being skinny but it wasnt nearly as bad. Even though the bullying and the negative comments have stopped I can still say it has a negative impact on the way I view myself.

[Luie]

14 hours ago, NoLifeAaron said:

Honestly tysm. 

Tbh I'm a very outgoing person and now that I'm in high school I make friends really easily and I'm just kind of known as one of those chill guys that everyone knows. Tbh I believe that beauty and attractiveness is subjective. People have been making comments about me for pretty much all my life, only now are most of those comments positive. As for bullying, I've been bullied for my looks in elementary school a lot. Thank god I went to a high school with completely different people. Ofc until around june people would still make comments about me being skinny but it wasnt nearly as bad. Even though the bullying and the negative comments have stopped I can still say it has a negative impact on the way I view myself.

Heyy @NoLifeAaron, I hear you, bullying leaves a massive mark on ones mind and general outlook as well. I see why it has a negative impact on how you view yourself. I am glad to hear that you are an outgoing person and sound like a friendly and sociable person. Your perspective on beauty is something that resonates with me too, it is subjective and that somewhere can be a great thing in itself. Coming back to the viewing yourself negatively, is there something you do or have done to help cope with that view? 

[NoLifeAaron]

10 hours ago, Luie said:

Heyy @NoLifeAaron, I hear you, bullying leaves a massive mark on ones mind and general outlook as well. I see why it has a negative impact on how you view yourself. I am glad to hear that you are an outgoing person and sound like a friendly and sociable person. Your perspective on beauty is something that resonates with me too, it is subjective and that somewhere can be a great thing in itself. Coming back to the viewing yourself negatively, is there something you do or have done to help cope with that view? 

That actually all depends. If its something I cant control then I focus on the things I can control. I also just started looking at around pictures of me from around a year or two ago whenever I'm feeling ugly and I tell myself "Wow I look a lot better then what I did before"

[NoLifeAaron]

On 1/14/2023 at 6:46 AM, peanutbutterstruggles said:

i'm really sorry to hear you've been made to feel that way :/ i can't really give you useful advice because i grew up "ugly" too, but just know that you're not alone and here on DTL, you have a safe space to talk about your feelings

That honestly means a lot. I have a lot of good friends but I'm also kind of in the popular kid clique so it feels like none of them would ever understand

[peanutbutterstruggles]

2 minutes ago, NoLifeAaron said:

That honestly means a lot. I have a lot of good friends but I'm also kind of in the popular kid clique so it feels like none of them would ever understand

i get what you mean. i'm here if you ever want to chat!

[Luie]

12 hours ago, NoLifeAaron said:

That actually all depends. If its something I cant control then I focus on the things I can control. I also just started looking at around pictures of me from around a year or two ago whenever I'm feeling ugly and I tell myself "Wow I look a lot better then what I did before"

Heyy @NoLifeAaron, I am glad to hear that you are able to look at what you can and can't control. It's great that you're physically looking and feeling better about yourself when you look back. I was wondering if there are things about yourself that you like which are beyond your looks and physique?