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emnma
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so i had a drug problem a few months ago and have been working on quitting. The other day I had a relapse setback sort of thing and came home high. My parents found out and added that bark app to my phone and are going to start drug testing me. normally i would have no problem with this, but if i end up failing then they've threatened to cut me off from everything and basically disown me but without disowning me, even if i get a contact high from going into the school bathrooms. most of my friends do drugs and im really scared that if im near them when theyre smoking ill get in trouble at home, but if i dont smoke with them then ill seem lame. ive talked to my parents about transferring schools, but i would have to wait until next year bc its the middle of the school year rn. idk if i should just seem lame to my current friends or if i should just focus mainly on my studies this year and avoid everyone that i know does drugs. im really torn because a lot of my close friends know really incriminating things about me and idk what would happen if i dropped them because of my parentsย 

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15 hours ago, emnma said:

so i had a drug problem a few months ago and have been working on quitting. The other day I had a relapse setback sort of thing and came home high. My parents found out and added that bark app to my phone and are going to start drug testing me. normally i would have no problem with this, but if i end up failing then they've threatened to cut me off from everything and basically disown me but without disowning me, even if i get a contact high from going into the school bathrooms. most of my friends do drugs and im really scared that if im near them when theyre smoking ill get in trouble at home, but if i dont smoke with them then ill seem lame. ive talked to my parents about transferring schools, but i would have to wait until next year bc its the middle of the school year rn. idk if i should just seem lame to my current friends or if i should just focus mainly on my studies this year and avoid everyone that i know does drugs. im really torn because a lot of my close friends know really incriminating things about me and idk what would happen if i dropped them because of my parentsย 

Heyy @emnma, this sounds like a lot you've been going through, thanks for sharing it with us on community here. I want to firstly say, I support you in terms of wanting to quit and you putting in the work for it. Relapse does happen to the best of us, so there is nothing wrong with you for having a relapse. From what you've shared, it does seem like your parents are concerned and wanting to help you with quitting, it might not be an ideal way and I know it's hard. I can sense you being worried about losing friends, however, my concern does fall more towards your safety and the goal of quitting as you expressed earlier. I was wondering if you can have a one to one chat with your friends, you mentioned you are close to them so do you think they'd be understanding about you staying out when they are getting high and perhaps finding other activities to bond over?ย 

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7 hours ago, Luie said:

Heyy @emnma, this sounds like a lot you've been going through, thanks for sharing it with us on community here. I want to firstly say, I support you in terms of wanting to quit and you putting in the work for it. Relapse does happen to the best of us, so there is nothing wrong with you for having a relapse. From what you've shared, it does seem like your parents are concerned and wanting to help you with quitting, it might not be an ideal way and I know it's hard. I can sense you being worried about losing friends, however, my concern does fall more towards your safety and the goal of quitting as you expressed earlier. I was wondering if you can have a one to one chat with your friends, you mentioned you are close to them so do you think they'd be understanding about you staying out when they are getting high and perhaps finding other activities to bond over?ย 

they'll probably be understanding, its just that they are pretty much always getting high and even then i would sit out most of the time. I feel like sitting out all of the time would be like me never seeing them and idk how i feel about that. ill try to find other things to bond with them but idk how that'll go over

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15 hours ago, emnma said:

they'll probably be understanding, its just that they are pretty much always getting high and even then i would sit out most of the time. I feel like sitting out all of the time would be like me never seeing them and idk how i feel about that. ill try to find other things to bond with them but idk how that'll go over

I am so sorry @emnma, trying to work on getting rid of this habit is hard enough and being surrounded by close friends who do it makes it even more tough. I think finding other things might be helpful to bond on, it could be a class, sports, the movies etc. anything where smoking is actively not allowed.ย 

I was thinking of perhaps joining a group if you're wanting to quit (Also, is there one around your city/town)? The reason for suggesting this is because having that support and motivation is crucial when working to get rid of a negative habit, I remember readingย  along the lines of 'the five people you hangout the most with, influence the habits you adopt for yourself', I thought of you when I read it. Let me know how this sounds to you?

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