I can’t figure out my sexuality

[dezmin]

I'm 15 year old I always attracted to girls sexually physically and emotionally until I turned into 13... I had an erection on my best friend I masturbated then after that I freaked out and after that day everything just went normal back I had a crush on a girl in my school I was just shy telling her I was and now these homosexual feelings are just coming back I feel like there's a demon in my body I don't know what to do i've Read some articles they say it's hocd but I don't think it is because they don't get erection on males i'd never wanted to be gay I don't know does that mean I'm bisexual or I'm just too young to ask for my sexuality?

[Willow]

Hi Dezmin,

 

Thanks for stopping by Community! We're glad you're here!

 

I can tell you're worried about what you're working through, but know that many people are spending time trying to figure out their sexuality. You're definitely not too young to be trying to figure out your sexual identity.

 

Please, know, there is nothing wrong with what you're experiencing. It's completely okay to spend time in a 'questioning' phase, or as I like to call it- an "exploration" phase.

 

Here's an article to remind you that you're completely okay where you're at:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/8-things-know-questioning-sexuality/

 

It sounds like you may have resistance to being attracted to guys? Do you change your behavior to try to 'not seem' gay?

 

Do you imagine having a romantic relationship with a guy, as well, or just a sexual experience?

 

It's healthy to be turned on-- and what you're turned on by doesn't mean you have to, or want to act on it. Being turned on by something is a purely internal thing.

 

Hope to hear more from you soon!

 

 

-willow

 

[emad]

Sorry I forgot my password for the other account however i wasn't getting erection 1 months ago I don't know I just thought what if I'm gay and then suddenly I got erection I don't know why this happened it made me not to eat food for 3 days

[emad]

please understand I cannot be gay our community is different we live in the middle east

[emad]

also I'm still getting erection to girls I enjoy it but when I'm seeing a guy I feel Even though I don't get erection

[Willow]

Hey there!

 

No worries about the change in username. I understand!

 

I can tell it would upset you if you were gay... Especially since the culture you're in, generally, doesn't support being gay. There's a lot of fear around being sexually attracted to someone of the same sex.

 

But what we believe is that who you're attracted to is not something you can control. It's not a choice. And if you do try to control it, it might end up causing poor mental health.

 

Also, getting an erection, randomly, is not uncommon for guys your age. It's part of biology and sexual development.

 

What would you do if you do end up being gay or bisexual, do you think?

 

 

-willow

[emad0]

Tbh I really can't kiss a guy it makes me disgusted I can't imagine and it just makes me uncomfromtable that I think I might be gay for getting erection even though it disgust me

[Willow]

Hey there,

 

It doesn't mean you're gay just because you got an erection. Try not to worry about getting an erection-- it's only if you start having desires to act on it with other guys that you might want to consider your sexuality being more than straight.

 

But it's important to think about why you're 'disgusted' at the thought of being gay. That tells me you're worried about how others will react-- it scares you to want something that your culture doesn't agree with. Is that right?

 

 

-willow