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Ok, I need some help...


Skylar V    

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Firstly, I would like to say that I was not sure which category to choose

Secondly, 

Some time ago I realized that I was actually genderfluid. I was happy that I finally did find out since I always get brain fried when I think about my gender.

4 weeks ago, I told my family ( just my mum,dad and brother ) about it, and explained as clearly as I could what being genderfluid meant.

I also told them that I like them to  use they/them pronouns instead, since I felt uncomfortable when other pronouns are used on me.

At that time, they seemed to l be ok with that.

However, just the day after that, they ( just my mum and my brother, my dad supports  and understands the importance,ove him ) started using she/her pronouns again. Even though I reminded them about the correct pronouns each time they used she/her, they continued to use she/her.

Til now, they're still using the wrong pronouns.( and they don't seem to care that they are )

A few nights ago, while I was talking g to my mum, she revealed that she thought that " the whole genderfluid fluid thing is just in your head, it's not real " I tried to explain how I felt and why it was valid. However,  she still thought that it was " all in my head ".

For obvious reasons, I cried myself to sleep that night.

What should I do?

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3 hours ago, Skylar Veronica said:

Firstly, I would like to say that I was not sure which category to choose

Secondly, 

Some time ago I realized that I was actually genderfluid. I was happy that I finally did find out since I always get brain fried when I think about my gender.

4 weeks ago, I told my family ( just my mum,dad and brother ) about it, and explained as clearly as I could what being genderfluid meant.

I also told them that I like them to  use they/them pronouns instead, since I felt uncomfortable when other pronouns are used on me.

At that time, they seemed to l be ok with that.

However, just the day after that, they ( just my mum and my brother, my dad supports  and understands the importance,ove him ) started using she/her pronouns again. Even though I reminded them about the correct pronouns each time they used she/her, they continued to use she/her.

Til now, they're still using the wrong pronouns.( and they don't seem to care that they are )

A few nights ago, while I was talking g to my mum, she revealed that she thought that " the whole genderfluid fluid thing is just in your head, it's not real " I tried to explain how I felt and why it was valid. However,  she still thought that it was " all in my head ".

For obvious reasons, I cried myself to sleep that night.

What should I do?

Heyy @Skylar Veronica, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. 

I am glad you feel comfortable and safe enough to share what you're going through. I am truly sorry that your family has not been respectful towards your pronouns and think this is 'all in your head'. You've done your bit in terms of informing your family, sometimes we don't get the acceptance and support the way we would like from our families and I know that can be disheartening. A reminder from my end is that, when we have a realization about our gender and sexuality, mostly we have given ourselves that time to think and accept that about ourselves,  a suggestion to perhaps extend that to your family too (they might not change their mindset but at least you've given them the space needed).  However, I do want to check with you if you have any in person support like friends who understand and respect your pronouns and also have you disclosed your pronouns to your teachers etc.?

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5 hours ago, Skylar Veronica said:

A few nights ago, while I was talking g to my mum, she revealed that she thought that " the whole genderfluid fluid thing is just in your head, it's not real " I tried to explain how I felt and why it was valid. However,  she still thought that it was " all in my head ".

i would recommend leaving your family members alone; isolate yourself to recover and avoid the misgendering for a while since youre really distressed about this. talk to this with people you trust whom youve outed to; rant your heart out. it helps a lot for me and im getting misgendered on a daily basis too. it really sucks

if you have to interact with your family then dont give up on correcting them. if it gets too much for you again straight up confront them. tell them that they dont even have enough moral decency to respect the boundaries youve established. you came out because you trust them and theyre breaking the trust and comfort just because of their own subjective beliefs. theyre not you; they cant assume shit about your experience. then drop the mic. sometimes a little slay always works

  • Like 1
2 hours ago, Luie said:

Heyy @Skylar Veronica, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. 

I am glad you feel comfortable and safe enough to share what you're going through. I am truly sorry that your family has not been respectful towards your pronouns and think this is 'all in your head'. You've done your bit in terms of informing your family, sometimes we don't get the acceptance and support the way we would like from our families and I know that can be disheartening. A reminder from my end is that, when we have a realization about our gender and sexuality, mostly we have given ourselves that time to think and accept that about ourselves,  a suggestion to perhaps extend that to your family too (they might not change their mindset but at least you've given them the space needed).  However, I do want to check with you if you have any in person support like friends who understand and respect your pronouns and also have you disclosed your pronouns to your teachers etc.?

Yeah, I do have a friend that supports and respects me.I didn't tell my teachers or my classmates though.

1 hour ago, sevan said:

i would recommend leaving your family members alone; isolate yourself to recover and avoid the misgendering for a while since youre really distressed about this. talk to this with people you trust whom youve outed to; rant your heart out. it helps a lot for me and im getting misgendered on a daily basis too. it really sucks

if you have to interact with your family then dont give up on correcting them. if it gets too much for you again straight up confront them. tell them that they dont even have enough moral decency to respect the boundaries youve established. you came out because you trust them and theyre breaking the trust and comfort just because of their own subjective beliefs. theyre not you; they cant assume shit about your experience. then drop the mic. sometimes a little slay always works

Thanks for your advice💜.[ and im sorry that u are constantly misgendered ] I can't isolate myself from my family, but I will confront them about this. Thank you so much, I hope it turns out well.💙

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10 hours ago, Skylar Veronica said:

Thanks for your advice💜.[ and im sorry that u are constantly misgendered ] I can't isolate myself from my family, but I will confront them about this. Thank you so much, I hope it turns out well.💙

thank you m8. i already got used to it and i understand that strangers doesnt know abt my preferred prns so i wont blame them if they use the wrong one. it still gets dysphoric after a while so im hoping to get a he/him and nonbinary pin after i got in universe or college or something. i sure do hope i dont get picked on bc of it lol

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