Jump to content

Do I Have to come out?


Recommended Posts

SO! I've recently experianced some feelings for persons of the same sex. I think I've always been into both sex's, I've just really repressed those feelings. I just started uni, I've made new friends, and I think now is the time to explore that side of me.


With this in mind, I've decided theres no need to come out. I never Identified as straight to these people, and hetro people never feel the need to come out so why should I!! majority of people are bisexual, so in theory, i should be assumed that I am to anyway right?


Majority of my close friends are extremely accepting, and wouldn't blink twice if I was. The people who aren't accepting don't deserve to know about my life anyway, so it's fine to not come out to anyone right? they can find out through my relationships and actions.


At the same time, I feel like this is just im just telling myself these things to make it feel okay that I havent come out. I dont want things to be different with my friends, so if I don't make a big deal about coming out, they wont make a big deal out of my sexuality.


I just want my sexuality to be treated as normal. I don't want a big coming out, I just want it accepted.


So, my quesiton to you is:

Is it wrong to not come out to the people who love and support me?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hiya HarrisTheHeretic,


What a great question!


What I've always considered in regards to sexual identity is the importance of sharing it with others. Is it really, actually, important for others to know who I might be sexual/sensual with? And I think I've accepted "no" as the answer, for me. Especially since my sexuality and romantic tendency are two different things.


When it comes to family, they may presume heterosexuality. And that's their choice-- especially since it's well-conditioned in society. And when we 'come out' to our family/friends we are changing the dynamics of the 'taboo' nature of sex and sexuality. We are 1) telling them we're sexual-- which can be a weird thing to share with family, anyway... and 2) informing them that the way we are sexual is different than how they imagined/presumed.


I think it would be great if the 'norm' was presuming that if someone is sexual, they are up to being sexual with any person they have attraction to. It's not based on genitalia.


The time in which I do believe sharing your orientation would be around relationships. If you're going to be bringing someone home to dinner (as your partner), it's nice to let them know who they should be expecting. That way they can prepare, and not 'react' to a surprise.


And you're right-- if a friend can't accept you as your whole self, then they aren't worth referring to as a 'friend'. People might judge you-- but if you're confident in yourself and your choices, then don't fear judgement from people that don't really matter.


What do you think?




This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...