Do I come out?

[Dg]

My mom is a bee Christian Asian and has zero filter.she will constantly talk about people we see in public like homosexuals and will go on to say they r dirty and disgusting. I just wanna tell someone but I grew up with straight guys and they also make fun of gays. I surrounded my self with homophobic people thinking maybe I was the problem and hanging with them might help me. I feel weird when they make jokes and call me gay for something I did as a joke and laugh it off. I never really had any intention of coming out to anyone but I’ve been crying myself to sleep too often now and I think it’s the stress of being by myself and having no one to talk to. I’m just here to ask if it sounds like a bad idea to anyone?

[illumi]

homophobia is already a good reason to not come out. ik its a difficult situation but unfortunately coming out just draws a target on your back. perhaps talk to someone online whom you trust about it and they can help you destress. otherwise i have no more answers

wish the best for you

[Blondie]

2 hours ago, Dg said:

My mom is a bee Christian Asian and has zero filter.she will constantly talk about people we see in public like homosexuals and will go on to say they r dirty and disgusting. I just wanna tell someone but I grew up with straight guys and they also make fun of gays. I surrounded my self with homophobic people thinking maybe I was the problem and hanging with them might help me. I feel weird when they make jokes and call me gay for something I did as a joke and laugh it off. I never really had any intention of coming out to anyone but I’ve been crying myself to sleep too often now and I think it’s the stress of being by myself and having no one to talk to. I’m just here to ask if it sounds like a bad idea to anyone?

Hey there and welcome to DTL. I'm one of the support mentors here.

Firstly, I'm sorry you've had this experience as we should all be able to live as our authentic selves and I'm sure this has led to being unsure about coming out.

I would like to reassure you that even if you don't ever come out, this in no way invalidates how you identify. Coming out to this we love should be an affirming experience but of course we know that this isn 't alway the case. However, many parents do change when their child comes out to them - it can take time of course and I can understand how painful it must be to hear that.

The main thing is to consider your safety and security, so for example, if you live at home and coming out means you might be at risk of being thrown out, then we would advise you wait until you are able to leave home and be more independent. The journey is absolutely yours and you should never feel rushed to tell anyone until you are ready to share.

If you do decide to come out, sometimes doing this alongside a trusted relative or family friend can really help. Whatever you decide, this is a safe space and we're here for you.