Is she really my friend

[audie]

Hey, I'm experiencing problems with someone who I once considered a good friend of mine. Over the summer, I hung out with her about five times n then all of a sudden she stopped talking to me as often. Kept saying she was busy n that. Which at first I believed, yet eventually I saw she was hanging out with mutual friends at our hangouts! I tried to keep it cool of course, but when it kept happening, it gradually hurt my feelings. Plus (this might sound dumb) on Instagram, I'd comment on her posts and she'd reply differently with me every time. She used to reply ?Love youuu? and now it's just ?Thank you? whereas with the people she used to complain to me about, she says ?Love youuu'. She always talks crap on people that she claims to be friends with, too. It's irritating and makes me wonder if she does that about me...

I'm the type of person who owns up to the bad things I do. If I did something, I'd know. So she's giving me the cold shoulder for nothing!

I did hang out with her last weekend and on her walk was a few photos of us which DID make me feel slightly better, yet some of the stuff she's done is stil on my mind. Like how she said she didn't wanna go on my little paddle boat ?cause she was afraid of water and then she went with our other friends on a raft on a freaking river.

 

What should I do?

[Willow]

Hey there Audie!

 

Thanks for bringing this to Community. It sounds really frustrating to wonder where you're friendship is at with this person, since there seem to be some changes to the relationship.

 

Have you seen this article on friendship?

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/are-they-really-your-friend-15-signs-that-suggest-otherwise/

 

Would you be able to talk to her about how you've been feeling? Maybe discuss what you want in a friendship with her, and describe how the changes don't make you feel great.

 

Here's an article on conflict resolution:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/speak-anyone-anything-conflict-resolution/

 

Have you had much honesty and openness, before? Like, before, if she had been upset with you, she would tell you why she was upset?

 

It seems like there could be some change happening in her life... I would encourage you not to compare her responses to you on Instagram-- it may not be an example of how she truly feels. But talking to her will help get you both on the same page, as you're just left trying to guess what's going on!

 

 

-willow

[audie]

Thank you! Yes, I checked those out after posting. I've asked her outright a few times whether I did something or not and she simply replied, ?Sorry, I'm just really busy. I still care about you.? Or something along those lines. But this feeling is really hard to shake. I've asked my closest friend (who doesn't know her) her opinion and she says she feels as if she's ?fake? and isn't really my friend so to speak. There were a few times when I thought it'd be best to completely cut ties with her...however, my school is very very small and my fear is that if I cease contact with her, I'll lose all my friends. (My two friends at the school are cousins and are very close) Plus, I still really care about her. And when I tried to distance myself, she texted me and asked me to hang out n I felt I should give it a shot. Idk...she's rather cut-off from her emotions it seems.