sadgirlhours Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness Click this notice to reveal the content. I’m stupid and I fucked up a couple weeks ago. I have been paying for it ever since and it’s just not a good situation. I was forgiven by my friends but then made it worse because I just couldn’t stop asking if “we were okay” and they all ended up getting mad. I also have a partial hearing impediment so If i’m not fully focused on someone I can’t hear them so my roommate talked about getting groceries and I didn’t hear her so in a FUCKED UP coincidence I announced to the group that I was going to trader joe’s and she got mad. I didn’t mention the hearing thing but I apologized because I didn’t want to make an excuse. It is just not a good situation, my old best friend isn’t really even my friend anymore. I heard what she said behind my back and it’s completely different than how she speaks to my face. I emotionally cut myself off from her in august and was doing GREAT until I ended up fucking everything up. She doesn’t really affect how I feel anymore but everyone else does. I was building a great friendship with this other person and they were great! sometimes we’d get on each others nerves but I felt comfortable expressing my feelings to them. Then I fucked up the whole friendship and idk what to do. I was also getting closer with the other roommate and it’s important to mention that she and my past best friend are really close. I feel like no matter what I do, if my past friend doesn’t like me then she won’t either. She is nice to me one on one but when someone else comes into the mix it changes. It makes me think about how I used to be in her position and I hope she doesn’t get walked all over. I just deeply regret fucking these friendships up because I genuinely like them. The only thing I don’t like is my past friend because over the last three years I’ve written up every altercation down and it just shows me how they made me feel. I just don’t like how she brings me or anyone else down when she doesn’t have to. I feel like there is too much past that I never brought up because I just wanted to brush off so there would be no problem. I thought i’d have a new friend who could be there for me and validate my feelings so I wouldn’t need to make up with her, and now I only want to make up with the two girls not my past best friend. I’m tired of being emotionally isolated and fucked with, there are too many mind games and lies. At least I owned up to my lie!!!! I just don’t know how long i’ll be in the dog house until they forgive me and I can be okay with myself. And they won’t tell me how they are doing or communicate with me unless I start it. So i’m really down bad. and two of them said I could come to them and talk but I just don’t trust them to keep it to themselves, I just know it will spread to the house. So idk. I don’t want to bring it up again but it is SO OBVIOUSLY still bothering them and I want to validate their feelings. I just don’t know how to do that right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.