ThatgurlieLekira Posted October 3, 2022 Share Posted October 3, 2022 And I haven't been to church in almost a year. I felt like I didn't belong there and it felt weird to be there. It felt wrong to be there because of my sexuality. And idk what to do about it. And I also felt very uncomfortable being there as well. Does that make me a bad person?? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted October 3, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted October 3, 2022 3 hours ago, ThatgurlieLekira said: And I haven't been to church in almost a year. I felt like I didn't belong there and it felt weird to be there. It felt wrong to be there because of my sexuality. And idk what to do about it. And I also felt very uncomfortable being there as well. Does that make me a bad person?? Heyy ThatgurlieLekira! I am Luie, one of the Digital Support Mentors at Ditch the Label. I am sorry that you're going through a distressing time, despite it all I appreciate you being honest and sharing your feelings. I can only imagine how on the fence you must've been in the past year not being able to go to church as it sounds to me that it's been an important part of your life, please do correct me if I am wrong. Feeling weird and uncomfortable is extremely normal as it can seem like two parallel lines when it comes to sexuality and religion however, I would like you to know that you don’t have to choose between your faith and your sexuality. The fact that there is this internal conflict shows that you deeply care about the role that religion plays in your life, additionally, being true to yourself by how you identify. And No, you are not bad, rather you sound like a badass to me ThatgurlieLekira. I was curious about you feeling 'uncomfortable', If you don't mind sharing with me a little bit more about this and where this is stemming for you? I would like to know so that I can understand and support you in the way you need. Please do not feel you have to say anything if you're not ready to share about it yet. Lastly, this journey can definitely seem lonely but I want you to know that you're not alone in this. As far as my knowledge goes, quite a lot of churches across the UK nowadays do have LGBTQI+ groups within them so I was wondering if your church has similar support present? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatgurlieLekira Posted October 3, 2022 Author Share Posted October 3, 2022 No it's a HOMOPHOBIC church. And like I used to like going to church and all but now I feel like I shouldn't be going. And thxs for the compliment and all. I feel like a weird person and idk why. And bruh this dude just said he liked me and wanna try to date and he go to my church bruh. Like tf am I supposed to do with that. I just don't understand life at all sometimes. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted October 6, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted October 6, 2022 On 10/3/2022 at 8:48 PM, ThatgurlieLekira said: No it's a HOMOPHOBIC church. And like I used to like going to church and all but now I feel like I shouldn't be going. And thxs for the compliment and all. I feel like a weird person and idk why. And bruh this dude just said he liked me and wanna try to date and he go to my church bruh. Like tf am I supposed to do with that. I just don't understand life at all sometimes. That does sound super uncomfortable. I would be confused about things in my life as well if I were in your position as it can be a lot to navigate your identity whilst figuring out how religion fits in it all. Your church being homophobic, it's normal to feel like you shouldn't go there as it sounds to me that you're not feeling accepted because of your identity which can make even religious places where we have felt comfortable for the longest time feel as an unsafe place and I am sorry because this can be unsettling. Feeling weird is totally justified if you’re made to feel different from the people around you at church. That doesn't, however, mean that you are weird or that you need to change yourself to fit in. You deserve respect and it’s other people’s attitudes that need to change. Feeling all the feels is a real thing and I am glad to see that you're able to have this insight and express it. I'm proud of you for being able to find the words because I know how tricky it all seems. @ThatgurlieLekira I'd really love to know more on how you view and understand your life right now? (If you don’t mind sharing this.) And also, would you be keen on going to a church that supports your journey or would you want something else altogether? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatgurlieLekira Posted October 6, 2022 Author Share Posted October 6, 2022 It's one of the most stressful things i'm dealing with right now. And I don't understand why people won't just accept people like me. Especially our parents cuz like they are supposed to love and support us. And they are supposed to be there for us. And DAMN RIGHT I ain't gonna change myself of some fucking homophobic people. This is my life and my choice to make point blank period. And HELL YEA I deserve respect. And you I know for a fact it is tricky. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LemonboyEmmy Posted October 6, 2022 Share Posted October 6, 2022 This post was recognized by Luie! "This was such a thoughtful reply. Thank you!" LemonboyEmmy was awarded the badge 'Great Advice' and 20 points. I actually came out to my "High School Girls" Sunday School class yesterday. It went really well. The whole time my friend (who I know is... not an ally per say but a kind person, like she dosn't agree with the LGBTQ community but she loves everyone anyways) had her arm around me, and that was probably the only thing that made it possible to get the words out. I was crying and shaking really bad, but even out 50 sumot year old group leader was really supportive and kind about it. I even had someone come up to me and say that they used he/they pronouns. It was amazing to see all of these people accept me, even the ones I know see homosexuality as a sin. At my old church I watched my best friend (he was trans too) get driven away with fucking pitchforks and fire by the people who smiled at me. That scared me a lot, but when I came here and found genuinely loving people it kind of restored my hope in the human race you know? And my faith too. Cause God loves me, every part of my messy identity is a part of his plan and for the first time I can say that and not feel like I'm lying to myself. So, I promise, I understand where you are right now- I was there a year ago. But believe me when I tell you- it gets better. One day you will find people who will love you for the beautiful person you are, and will be thee for you in your faith. It may take a while, but dont give up. If you ever need to talk, I'm here too :) I know its hard when everyone tells you what you are and what you aren't, but believe me- you decide you're faith and no one can take that love from you. 1 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted October 7, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted October 7, 2022 On 10/6/2022 at 1:07 PM, ThatgurlieLekira said: It's one of the most stressful things i'm dealing with right now. And I don't understand why people won't just accept people like me. Especially our parents cuz like they are supposed to love and support us. And they are supposed to be there for us. And DAMN RIGHT I ain't gonna change myself of some fucking homophobic people. This is my life and my choice to make point blank period. And HELL YEA I deserve respect. And you I know for a fact it is tricky. I totally agree, you do not need to change yourself for anyone else, it is your life and being loved and respected the way you are is something you truly deserve. @LemonBoyEmmy highlighted something important which I hope you can take with you - that it's an ongoing journey when it comes to discovering yourself and your identity and also coming across people who will accept you for who you are. I can imagine it does get tiring to always have to stand up for yourself and have a strong front which sounds to me like it brings up anger and a lot of frustration for you. From what I understand it seems like you have come out to your parents and the experience was not how you thought it would be, so how have things been for you since? And yes, it definitely seems unfair when your parents aren't on your side in terms of the support that you're seeking especially through this crucial chapter in your life, I am sorry about this. I believe it should be celebrated because this world is lucky to be blessed with you. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatgurlieLekira Posted October 7, 2022 Author Share Posted October 7, 2022 i haven't came out yet MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted October 7, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted October 7, 2022 30 minutes ago, ThatgurlieLekira said: i haven't came out yet I am sorry about the misunderstanding from my end. In our conversation earlier you had mentioned how our parents should be accepting of us, it got me thinking whether you'd like to come out to your parents? And also, if you don't mind sharing how do you think they might react? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatgurlieLekira Posted October 7, 2022 Author Share Posted October 7, 2022 i only live with my mom due to family issues. And she is homophobic asf MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted October 8, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted October 8, 2022 16 hours ago, ThatgurlieLekira said: i only live with my mom due to family issues. And she is homophobic asf I hear you in terms of having family issues and we’re here for you if you want to speak about this in more detail. I am truly sorry that your mum is someone who has homophobic beliefs. I can only imagine your pain and frustration on this. That being said, if you choose to come out to her, will that be safe for you or will it leave you at physical risk or that you will be thrown out? I know this can be a difficult question to think about, and please know that you don’t have to share if you’re not ready to talk about this more. Whenever you are ready, I am to help you navigate this. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatgurlieLekira Posted October 10, 2022 Author Share Posted October 10, 2022 can we talk about it in private MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted October 10, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted October 10, 2022 2 hours ago, ThatgurlieLekira said: can we talk about it in private Heyy, Yes ofcourse. Please feel free to message on the confidential support MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatgurlieLekira Posted October 11, 2022 Author Share Posted October 11, 2022 can you make it for me MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted October 12, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted October 12, 2022 18 hours ago, ThatgurlieLekira said: can you make it for me Heyy @ThatgurlieLekira I'd encourage you to click the confidential support button and just send in your request, It's quite simple to do, if you need further guidance please let me know. I am going offline now, but will reply first thing when I am back tomorrow. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatgurlieLekira Posted October 13, 2022 Author Share Posted October 13, 2022 @Luie I just sent one MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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