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Hi, I'm an 18 year old girl and I started questioning my sexuality.


Never dated (don't really think I had any sexual thoughts neither), although, when I think about it, I feel like I would date anyone, regardless of gender. I have had some physical attraction towards some boys, but not that many girls.

At a party, a drunk friend (girl) kissed me. For me, it wasn't a big deal! Although I didn't mind, I didn't feel anything! She is only my friend, that's all.


It wasn't because of the kiss I started to question "Who am I'". I have been so anxious about it, that when my sister asked me if I was lesbian, my heart started to race so hard (like I had been exposed). I guess I felt that way 'cause I've been thinking about it, even though I don't have any answers.


I am scared that my mind is tricking me and I am actually just a straight girl.

What if I end up hurting people? What if all this, I am going through, is simply curiosity? What if I end up dating someone, but late realize I never felt love, only friendship? What if my searching ends up looking like I am mocking with LGBTQIA+ community?


I only need answers. What do I do?


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Hey Ocean,


Wow-- these are incredible questions! I'm really excited for your journey. You have lots of consideration for others.


I think you exploring and curiosity is not a negative thing. But there is a responsibility of making sure the people you're involved with are clear on your intentions.


It sounds like you do need some clarity on the what intimacy means versus relationships. I believe that there can be emotional and physical intimacy with a person without being in a 'relationship' with them. You can be 'straight' when it comes to dating, but having attractions to women doesn't have to mean you have to adopt a different label.


Here's an article to remind you that where you're at is perfectly okay:




Hope my suggestions help!




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