I don't know what my sexuality is, can anyone help me?

[itsmyhousenow]

I am a 19 year old cis female, and about two months ago I got out of a three year relationship with my high school boyfriend, and I have been trying to figure where I am at sexuality wise. I have always dated and had crushes on guys, but ever since I was 14 I began to feel sexually interested in girls, but not romantically. For example, while hanging out with my female friends I would get these thoughts or urges to just lean over and kiss them, not because I loved them (in a romantic way) but just to do it. I never acted on them and I always thought it was a phase, but to this day I get those same exact thoughts around guys and girls, like if I see a cute girl at the mall or a photo of a cute female actress, I think "wow I would definetly hit that!"For a while I identified as Bisexual, but it never felt right, it felt like I was living a lie. I have only ever wanted to date guys and that is still true but I never think I would date a girl, yet I would definetly have a fwb relationship or hook up with or just generally have sex with a girl 100%. I am really confused and I just need some help. Can anybody help me?

[Willow]

Hey there ItsMyHouseNow!

 

Thank you for sharing what you're going through. Where you're at is completely okay!

 

The two attractions you describe: sexuality/sensuality and romantic attraction are things we don't usually separate, but they're both part of our structure.

 

I want to remind you that you don't need to come up with a label to define yourself... I believe that the only time this needs to be part of a discussion is with potential partners. All attractions are normal, and it's your choice on how to act on it.

 

Here's an article on "questioning:"

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/8-things-know-questioning-sexuality/

 

And here's a little quiz about sexuality:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/am-i-bisexual-quiz/

 

 

Hope these help!

 

 

-willow

[ashleberry]

I am EXACTLY the same! I didn't think I would find someone similar so easily!! And I found a label for it, even though labels don't matter. I personally like the label. It's called heteroromantic bisexual. It means that you can be sexually attracted to both genders, but romantically attracted to only the opposite sex. This describes me pretty spot on, don't know about you. However, I'm only 13 so I'm definitely not going to have sex any time soon lol.

[harristheheretic]

I'm the same!!

 

If your having feelings, or questioning it all, likely hood is your bi-curious at the very least!!

but heres the thing, you dont have to decide.

 

Do what you want, if you like someone, go for it, regardless of gender, and if you odn't, dont!

as long as you make your intentions clear, adn respect their feelings, itll be happy days!