Do I confront the issue head on , or leave my group?

[cwindian]

Hi

I have been part of a paint group for a couple years now and there are several women in the group. Recently, one of the women had an angry outburst toward me in the class and the teacher asked her to stop.

I asked her why she was angry but she gave me no reply. The next week she was not there and the teacher advised me that she had been told by this woman that the woman was angry at her for "calling her out" in class. Teacher was going to have coffee with this woman lets call her J and clear the air. A week or so later teacher said she cleared things up between the two of them . I asked teacher what J was angry at me for ans she said she did not know. Since then ( its been about 2 months) , J still gives me dirty looks and excludes me from conversations but still has never shared with me the reason for her about face with me. My inclination is to find another paint group but im not sure that is the best course. The teacher has also distanced herself from me. I thought we were friends but she has declined invitations from me for coffee, something we had done a great deal of in the past. I feel like I have lost a friend and a group that I once found great peace and joy participating in, thus my hesitation is leaving.

There are also no other groups like this in the area. Please , all advice is welcome , thanks.

[Willow]

Hi CWIndian!

 

Thanks for bringing this to Community. That's difficult when tension arises in a group setting. And your teacher who you felt was a friend, who doesn't seem to want to put the effort into the friendship.

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/are-they-really-your-friend-15-signs-that-suggest-otherwise/

 

Would you be interested in confronting this woman? And your teacher friend? If so, here are some tips on such an encounter:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/speak-anyone-anything-conflict-resolution/

 

I would suggest looking at the reasons you like being in the group... is it because of the painting? Because of the people? If it's both of those things, maybe just go to this group for the painting and find another group for the socializing.

 

Hope this helps!

 

-willow