WHAT IS WRONG WITH INDIAN SOCIETY???!!!! OMGGG

[shortindiangirl]

I am an indian girl.

my relatives keep telling my parents to get me married at 22 like wtaffff

I wanna have my career and my dreams but I cant do that really just cuz of fuckin relatives'?

this is BULLSHIT

I swear to god I feel like running away, but I cant

really who are my relatives to tell me what my lifestyle should be like

they literally gossip about the clothes that I wear

I wear revealing clothes like dresses and capris and tank tops and cold shoulder tops

they are soooooo judgemental and they tell my parents to stop giving me so much freedom because I might end up losing my virginity before I get married

my parents are slowly getting concerned about this and this is annoying me the most and I want to stop this from affecting my lifestyle and what I want to be

I want to travel abroad with friends, I wanna move out after I get my undergrad degree

I want to earn for myself and then get my masters

but because of my relatives who keep giving my parents advice on how to raise me, they are getting concerned about my marriage at the time when I am not even ready for it

they tell my parents that I do not need to work after marriage because it is not in our "culture"

TO HELL WITH MY CULTURE

that is total bullshit!!!!!

I know that it is my choice that I wanna marry or not but they keep annoying me all the time

my parents wanted me to get my job and get well settled with a good high paying job

I really want to change the way what my relatives are telling my parents

Please help how do I stop this from happening which can ruin my whole life

[cwindian]

I want to preface this by saying I know nothing about Indian culture, save the Indians from America as I am part Indian. I just want to give you support. All youth are influenced by their parents desires for them, in America , however, it is not so blatant as it sound like it is for you. So first, know that I went through some of this also. Mostly , it was in relation to my choices of friends and boyfriends. It is annoying to have others try to tell us what to do. Even if we know they do it with loving intentions, it still hurts. I think talking with your parents might be helpful. In a calm and positive atmosphere you can explain what you believe is your future. Tell them what your perfect life would look like. If you don't know , you need to figure that out. Your relatives , let your parents deal with them, gossip is called gossip for a reason, ignore it. Your parents are your biggest allies, if you make them allies. Good luck.

[Willow]

Hey ShortIndianGirl,

 

Thank you for sharing! Sounds like you've been figuring out how to live your truth, but still feel the pressure of the culture.

 

CWIndian has some really insightful ideas!

 

I do think it's important to recognize the differences in the cultures you and your parents live in. You're influenced by a more modern- individualized approach. And you know you're not going to live in the Indian culture the way they do. You can appreciate their culture, but remind yourself that your path is just as valid.

 

Maybe you can make a list of things they value that you value, as well. You can share that with them so they see that you're not a rebel-- you're values are just a little different.

 

And yea, your parents worrying about the family gossip is their own worries. Although they try to guilt you with it, you can choose not to be affected by their own anxieties!

 

-willow