Being an African

[carolindwelt]

i was brought up and born in Kenya. raised in a slum called Mathare (hard to pronounce don't worry!) . you can imagine the growing that needs to take part in such an environment. like many other nations we have people from different classes and i would say we were the lower class (i mean its a slum!) we always looked out for survival, just survive! . the idea is, when i joined university i met different people from supposedly higher classes but anyway that was not much of a concern to me. during the last semester , i met this lady who was from south Africa and we clicked instantly. like i felt okay and good sharing some of life hardest struggles with her and have long chats. she was white( it doesn't even make much sense to me mentioning it but because of how people portrayed it i have to mention) honestly her colour was not in question for me, she was just a good friend i met period but also i must confess i felt little bit off when we scheduled to meet in my single room with really nothing much to offer. i was shy and many times i created excuses so that she would not visit. i felt bad that i could not prepare decent meals like she did when i visited her place. i was okay with my lifestyle and position and i dint want to make her uncomfortable at the same time. i felt like she was not used to such a setting. at times she would tell me how people were treating her when she went to buy groceries or something , at some point her phone almost got stolen and that was just sad. just because she was white people just assumed she had money and tried to take advantage (that is the feeling we get when we see wazungu- white people). i would live to continue with the story but then, what i learned is, in life you can never understand and fully comprehend the lifestyle of people if you have never been exposed to what they had been exposed to directly.  you cannot begin to understand what it feels like growing up in a slum if you have never, you cannot begin to understand what it means to have wealth if you have never had, i could not begin to understand how she felt with the treatment because i was not her in the situation. overally what you have gone through is only you who can fully understand best and its okay because if you wait on people to see the scars the struggles they might never see them so just be okay with people not knowing your part. it helps to maintain your inner peace plus no situation is for forever. oh! we are still good friends i just stopped giving a f_ck about our differences they don't really matter to me.

[Emberfrost12]

4 hours ago, carolindwelt said:

i was brought up and born in Kenya. raised in a slum called Mathare (hard to pronounce don't worry!) . you can imagine the growing that needs to take part in such an environment. like many other nations we have people from different classes and i would say we were the lower class (i mean its a slum!) we always looked out for survival, just survive! . the idea is, when i joined university i met different people from supposedly higher classes but anyway that was not much of a concern to me. during the last semester , i met this lady who was from south Africa and we clicked instantly. like i felt okay and good sharing some of life hardest struggles with her and have long chats. she was white( it doesn't even make much sense to me mentioning it but because of how people portrayed it i have to mention) honestly her colour was not in question for me, she was just a good friend i met period but also i must confess i felt little bit off when we scheduled to meet in my single room with really nothing much to offer. i was shy and many times i created excuses so that she would not visit. i felt bad that i could not prepare decent meals like she did when i visited her place. i was okay with my lifestyle and position and i dint want to make her uncomfortable at the same time. i felt like she was not used to such a setting. at times she would tell me how people were treating her when she went to buy groceries or something , at some point her phone almost got stolen and that was just sad. just because she was white people just assumed she had money and tried to take advantage (that is the feeling we get when we see wazungu- white people). i would live to continue with the story but then, what i learned is, in life you can never understand and fully comprehend the lifestyle of people if you have never been exposed to what they had been exposed to directly.  you cannot begin to understand what it feels like growing up in a slum if you have never, you cannot begin to understand what it means to have wealth if you have never had, i could not begin to understand how she felt with the treatment because i was not her in the situation. overally what you have gone through is only you who can fully understand best and its okay because if you wait on people to see the scars the struggles they might never see them so just be okay with people not knowing your part. it helps to maintain your inner peace plus no situation is for forever. oh! we are still good friends i just stopped giving a f_ck about our differences they don't really matter to me.

Hey, this sounds really tough and I'm wondering how you're coping with this and if you need to talk about anything. And I do agree, It would be really hard for me to grasp this, but I can try to understand the best I can.

[carolindwelt]

hey, thanks for your feedback and yes i would like to expound on everything.  with my up bringing and growing up in such conditions, i have found myself struggling with self worth later on. being used to survival i never really looked out for bigger things neither did i believe i deserved big. i dint know how to love myself and to give myself. ended up in relationships because a guy just showed concern that i never received from the father i had (still have). its never the same