I’m scared and confused, but aren’t we all

[OT]

How do I start? Okay, so I’ve spent the past few years thinking I’m gay mostly but not being sure, I’m a 15 year old boy with a really big family that I’ve always been close with and have promised to be close with even in adulthood but the problem is, literally all of them are homophobic including my parents and all my relatives that I know of. I’ve also on top of that been struggling with my body image and whether or not I’m even gay or something more complicated. Only about 3 of my friends know about this though. I’m even scared of what will happen if my parents find me posting on here but I really just want to figure out what I actually am since it’s the only thing about my situation I have control over right now. As of now, coming out is completely out of the question and will remain out of my reach for most likely a long time. 

[Emberfrost12]

2 hours ago, OT said:

How do I start? Okay, so I’ve spent the past few years thinking I’m gay mostly but not being sure, I’m a 15 year old boy with a really big family that I’ve always been close with and have promised to be close with even in adulthood but the problem is, literally all of them are homophobic including my parents and all my relatives that I know of. I’ve also on top of that been struggling with my body image and whether or not I’m even gay or something more complicated. Only about 3 of my friends know about this though. I’m even scared of what will happen if my parents find me posting on here but I really just want to figure out what I actually am since it’s the only thing about my situation I have control over right now. As of now, coming out is completely out of the question and will remain out of my reach for most likely a long time. 

Hey, that sounds really tough. What has your family said/done to show their homophobia? Also, since you said you want to figure out what you are, what do you think you are? Or who do you find you like?

[OT]

Hey, thank you so much for this. In response to my family I often see them referring to other queer people as “crazy” or “wierd” they often say they don’t care what goes on with them as long as it doesn’t happen in their family, which scares me because I’ll probably have to think about coming out to them someday. They, especially the male relatives, have made rather violent statements about how they’d interact with them which makes things worse. About what I think I am, I’m pretty sure I’m attracted to guys but I don’t think I have a thing for other genders. Maybe I’ve been attracted to girls and didn’t know it but I highly doubt that. I’m pretty sure I’m gay but I don’t know why I can’t believe that for sure

[Emberfrost12]

13 minutes ago, OT said:

Hey, thank you so much for this. In response to my family I often see them referring to other queer people as “crazy” or “wierd” they often say they don’t care what goes on with them as long as it doesn’t happen in their family, which scares me because I’ll probably have to think about coming out to them someday. They, especially the male relatives, have made rather violent statements about how they’d interact with them which makes things worse. About what I think I am, I’m pretty sure I’m attracted to guys but I don’t think I have a thing for other genders. Maybe I’ve been attracted to girls and didn’t know it but I highly doubt that. I’m pretty sure I’m gay but I don’t know why I can’t believe that for sure

I think that people can often change their views when it's brought into their family, so that may change. With your sexuality, I find that if you feel like your family will deny it, you might as well. Do you think that could be it? 

[OT]

Actually, that might be it. Maybe hearing them invalidate other queer people so much made me start to doubt myself. That’s something I really should think about, thanks so much for the advice 

[Aurora]

On 7/31/2022 at 10:51 PM, OT said:

How do I start? Okay, so I’ve spent the past few years thinking I’m gay mostly but not being sure, I’m a 15 year old boy with a really big family that I’ve always been close with and have promised to be close with even in adulthood but the problem is, literally all of them are homophobic including my parents and all my relatives that I know of. I’ve also on top of that been struggling with my body image and whether or not I’m even gay or something more complicated. Only about 3 of my friends know about this though. I’m even scared of what will happen if my parents find me posting on here but I really just want to figure out what I actually am since it’s the only thing about my situation I have control over right now. As of now, coming out is completely out of the question and will remain out of my reach for most likely a long time. 

Hi @OT, I'm Aurora, one of the support mentors here at Ditch the Label and I give advice and support to those who reach out to us. I think @Emberfrost12 has already given some great advice. From what you are saying it sounds like you know that you are gay but your families attitude towards the LGBTQ+ community makes you doubt your own sexuality.  I'm sorry you are feeling like that. Please know that your feelings are valid and it's your families attitude that needs to change! 

I noticed that you said that you've been struggling with your body image.  Do you mind telling me more about that? 

[Emberfrost12]

17 hours ago, OT said:

Actually, that might be it. Maybe hearing them invalidate other queer people so much made me start to doubt myself. That’s something I really should think about, thanks so much for the advice 

If you need more help with that, just tell me :)