Hi, I’m new :)

[alida22]

I'm almost 14, female, and a semi-closeted bisexual. I've come out to my friends, and all of them are super supportive, but I also come from a homophobic Latino family. My older brothers are mostly just a bit ignorant on the subject, but they have gay friendships. However, my parents and grandparents are definitely homophobic. My mom scoffs at the idea of pride month ?they even celebrate THAT now'? and my dad believes in all the stereotypes. I'm really not sure how to tell them, or even if I should wait until I'm 18. I just see all my LGBT+ friends coming out and their family being accepting, and can't help but want that for myself.

[Monsoon]

Hey ALIDA22,

 

Thanks for coming to Community with this. We are here to help you and you are not alone

 

First of all, it is great that you have already come out to some people. I came out gradually: first to people I knew online from things like Habbo, second to my close friends, and third to my family. It was important for me to do this as I was most scared to tell my friends and family. It helped me to build courage by telling others first.

 

I am sorry that your parents and grandparents are homophobic. How does this make you feel? My dad expressed homophobic views before I came out which terrified me! He said that he ?...doesn't agree with gay people.'. However, I realised that this may be due to his upbringing, and that he had never come into contact with a person who is gay in order to develop his own opinions. He is now very supporting, especially of me and my partner. It is important to give your parents time to come around to the idea when you tell them at first. They may be in shock which can lead to a bad reaction and they can often feel bad for that later.

 

Also, it is great that your brothers have gay friendships. This could mean that they will be accepting of your sexuality as they are already accepting of their friends? sexuality. Could you try speaking to them first as they could be supportive when you speak to your parents?

 

Here is a help guide for those who want to come out to their homophobic parents and another more general guide:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/coming-out-homophobic-parents/

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/coming-out-to-your-parents/

 

I hope this advice helps and I look forward to hearing back from you.

 

Sending positive vibes! -Monsoon

[bisexuwhale]

Hi! I am in a VERY similar situation as you. I am 14, female, semicloseted(out to my closest friends), have homophobic parents, a brother who is also bi and out but my parents don't approve of(I just recently cake out to him). I just thought that you might like to know that you are not alone and that I am here going through almost exactly the same thing with you. Hope it all turns out ok for you!

[alida22]

Thanks for the replies! I think that I'll come out to my siblings soon, probably sometime this year, but I will definitely test the waters some more with my parents. Even if they do have a bad reaction when I eventually come out, I actually began to realize that I really do have a lot of support to fall back on. I'm really grateful for my friend group not treating me any differently. Thanks for the advice and support!