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How do I know if I'm actually trans? (FTM)


thewriter Β  Β 

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I was born female, living a female identity, and I came out as a lesbian about 5 years ago, but these last few months I have really been feeling exceptionally uncomfortable in myself and my identity. Looking back on my life, I can start to see moments where I am definitely feeling more masculine, and others are just a gray area. My coworkers have started calling me Jimmy because I cut my hair short, to give me a hard time for it, but it almost feels more authentically me. I don't know if I'm just being dramatic or trying to assimilate to the male dominated career field I'm in or if this is really how I feel.

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Hey TheWriter!

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Welcome! And thank you for bringing this to Community. So many members have explored their gender identity and expression, so this is the perfect place to bring your questions.

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I'm sorry to hear about your co-workers giving you a hard time for your short hair. It's not nice of them to be making implications. Short hair is not a 'male' thing...

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For me, I know that having more "masculine" features and style is going to cause people to make presumptions. But the expression of my personality does not have anything to do with my gender. I like to say I'm gender non-conforming, since I'm not trying to look/behave like either an ideal man, or woman. I just want to be me!

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I don't want you to feel like you have to assimilate to the 'male culture' if you don't want to. It might be easier, due to your given field, but since you're thinking about gender expression, it's the perfect time to figure out what style and behavior is best for your wellbeing. ?

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-willow

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