Hi!

[patg]

Hi all, I'm in Canada and am a not-super-feminine female. I have 2 university degrees and am in the upper levels of cognitive testing, so I know what it's like to feel separate or not quite fit in. I am INFJ Myers-Briggs (ambivert really) and have pretty eclectic tastes and am on the lovable side of awkward. I have friends of all stripes. Most of my friends are very kind and understanding people. It took me a lot of years to figure out how to navigate social dynamics and curate my relationships, and to mostly avoid people I don't jive with. I'm 35 and had dealt with the (unfortunately) usual relational aggression stuff through school as most women have, but managed to stay on the periphery and witness it instead of being targeted directly (teenagers, feel free to ask me about how if you like, although I went to school in the 90's). I need my down time and solo time, but I also love my friends (except for the one I posted about)! I am married since 2016. In 2015 I was injured at work along with 4 others, and this caused me to be bullied and demonized there until I lost my job. Basically the others wanted to blame someone for their pain and injuries, and chose me because I'm different from them and never joined their co-worker clique (I generally don't form close relationships with co-workers as per above). They ganged up on me and made up rumours about me that the accident was my fault. I have permanent invisible injuries including cartilage damage, concussion problems and PTSD, so I am navigating all of that as best as I can.

[Willow]

Hey there PatG!

 

Thank you for joining us on Community. It's great to have your perspective as a person who isn't trying to conform to the feminine expectations of society. It seems that you put your academic success as a priority, and observed bullying behavior in an objective way while growing up. What are your two degrees in?

 

I would love to hear more about how you have learned to navigate social relationships, and how you realized that some friendships weren't healthy (and how you changed your relationships with those people).

 

Congratulations on your marriage!

 

I'm really sorry to hear about your previous working environment. Although it doesn't sound like it had a positive end, maybe you'd be able to start a thread about the workplace bullying that you experienced-- and how you've overcome the results of it?

 

Again, welcome to Community! Happy to have you here!

 

 

-willow