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How can you know for sure what your sexuality is?


2r2d    

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This probably sounds like a stupid question but I've been trying to figure mine out for 2 years now, I can be attracted to guys but its rare, I can be attracted to girls but it's rarer and I have no idea if I just think either are cute, I feel like I could never be in another relationship anyway because no one would like me and I don't know if I even want sex so I don't know why I'm even questioning this but yeah, how do you know?

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Hey 2R2D!

 

Thank you for bringing this to Community! No question is stupid-- we are all learning about ourselves, constantly!

 

Determining what your sexuality is, is easy for some... but not so easily defined, for others! For me, there isn't one word that completely describe my sexuality and relationship styles-- let alone what I am attracted to.

 

Are there people you're wanting to talk to about this, and want to give them a word to help them understand? Why is that you want it to be 'all figured out'?

 

When you are attracted to girls or guys, is it a sexual attraction? Emotional attraction? Maybe solely a physical/aesthetic attraction?

 

It's completely okay to not want to be in a relationship, or to have sex. Though, you mention that you don't think anyone would want to be in a relationship with you-- why is that?

 

Have you read this article?

 

https://us.ditchthelabel.org/8-things-know-questioning-sexuality/

 

It's just a good reminder that where you are, in this exploration, is a perfectly okay place to be ?

 

 

-willow

 

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Hey Willow,

Thanks for responding to my post, that link was really useful.

I think the reason I want to figure it out is that I hate things being uncertain so I kinda struggle with the whole not knowing.

With guys I think it's more emotional where as with girls I think it's more an aesthetic attraction but sometimes they swap so I'm not really sure but I think I'm okay with that for now. Going on the not thinking anyone would want to be in a relationship, I guess it's mainly because I can be a bit of a handful sometimes so wouldn't make the best girlfriend :D

Thanks!

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Hey there 2R2D,

 

I'm glad the article was helpful! ?

 

I think we're all capable of developing better partnerships, if that's what you want! Open and honest communication (especially around expectations) is crucial-- that way each person can understand and grow into being a better partner.

 

Do you have friends and family who support your exploration?

 

 

-willow

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi, so I'm emotionally attracted to both genders but sexually attracted to only the opposite gender. (I'm male btw) Is there a word for this? How can I explain it if I come out. Also, I'm pretty sure this is what I am but not 100% positive.

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