Can you become not straight by influence of friends?

[Cowlover123]

hey

about a year and a half ago one of my friends had a crush on me and now identifies as gay. Actually my 2 best friends are not straight and from the other freinds 1 of the 3 is bi. ( yeah I’m sorry if this may be unnecessary information) 

at one night ig, about a year ago, I was calling with my 2 best friends and suddenly they said that they are convinced that I am bi ( or at least not straight) .  ( btw I only had  ‘crushes’ in primary school(at boys) )At the time I hadn’t really thought a lot about that, but that definitely made me start thinking about it.  Than when we where calling at night a few moths later,  one of them asked  who I thought was the prettiest ( boy and girl) in my class. For the girl I answered that it was( Let’s call her J ), but afterwards, she started to tease me with ‘ oh and haven’t you got a crush on J yet’ and that sort of things.  Then I actually got a crush on her ( I guess) but now I don’t know if it was genuine because my friends was saying it all the time and almost kind of pushing it … when I told her they where also surprised.  After that it became even worse, because now she kept saying that I was bi and that I have to admit it to myself and so on…. While I kind of guess I am bi I am getting more insecure and confused about it because my friends say it all the time…. So I really need help , can you ‘become’ another sexuality or at least think it when people tell it all the time to you , like that you begin to believe it or something like that ?  Well I can say that I am sorry for the very long text and yeah thank you for the effort if you already got to this sentence 

bye, 

x Cowlover

[ArtemisArt]

Hmmmmm this is a tough one, I personally believe that you cannot “make” some gay it is just they way you are born however being pressured like that could make you start to doubt whether you are or not, all that you can do is maybe tell them that you do not know and that they need to give you time to figure yourself out before you let them know. Also if it is just a I guess crush then it can maybe be assumed that you can’t tell if you have feelings for J or if it is just the pressure of your friends telling you that you do. All I can really say is someday you will know but that day could be near or far and only you know who you are no matter how much you tell your friends in the end you know you best

[ArtemisArt]

Also welcome to DTL and I hope you make many friends on this community 

[Cowlover123]

11 minutes ago, ArtemisArt said:

Also welcome to DTL and I hope you make many friends on this community 

Hey !

thank you and also thank you for your comment…  The thing is that I already told them that I would like them to just give me the space to figure this out , and that they don’t make it easier for me by saying it all the time.. but yeah they just keep saying it , especially now that it’s pride month .  And about the crush thing… it’s indeed that I don’t know if my feelings where real or just that I thought/ made it up if you get what I mean that I had a crush.  I actually have the feeling that I can’t trust / believe my own feelings anymore because of that sort of pressure.

[Blondie]

1 hour ago, Cowlover123 said:

Hey !

thank you and also thank you for your comment…  The thing is that I already told them that I would like them to just give me the space to figure this out , and that they don’t make it easier for me by saying it all the time.. but yeah they just keep saying it , especially now that it’s pride month .  And about the crush thing… it’s indeed that I don’t know if my feelings where real or just that I thought/ made it up if you get what I mean that I had a crush.  I actually have the feeling that I can’t trust / believe my own feelings anymore because of that sort of pressure.

Hi there, I’m Blondie, one of the support mentors.

I agree with @ArtemisArt You cannot change anyone’s sexuality but you can leave them very confused, especially if this is something you haven’t really explored or given much thought to.

It sounds like this has prompted you to think about it which is an entirely natural part of life and should be something you do at your own time and pace. This unnecessary pressure sounds pretty stressful even if they are just kidding around with you.

It’s okay to keep pushing back and  asserting your boundaries.