Feel like a burden and a freak to everyone just feel so done with life 💔😭

[Blc]

Hey guys Dk if this is a TW or not but 

 

 

Ever since I was younger, I used to get bullied because of my disability and that's led to a lot of mental health problems that have stuck with me a d I've never gotten treatment so I probably could have healed ages ago but I'm just a r***** after all who wants to be friends with the disabled person?  

 

Also I'm with my Partner, Meg, (not saying her actual name) and we've been together for nine months now and it's still a lot to take in, I love her so much she fits me perfectly, but In my head, I keep looking at how beautiful she is and how ugly I am and I keep thinking that I'm not enough, were supposedly meeting up in the summer but I'm a nervous wreck because I've never gone out with someone, well I have but not outside of school of on here so I'm under the impression that because of how I am I'm going to screw it up and then that's it, I mess everything up anyway so if wouldn't surprise me if I did, and I feel like a burden because I just feel like I'm in the way and that I'm a freak and I don't deserve to be with her I really want her I love her so much but my brain just hates me and says otherwise, I don't know what to do

 

 

 

[Blondie]

2 hours ago, Blc said:

Hey guys Dk if this is a TW or not but 

Ever since I was younger, I used to get bullied because of my disability and that's led to a lot of mental health problems that have stuck with me a d I've never gotten treatment so I probably could have healed ages ago but I'm just a r***** after all who wants to be friends with the disabled person?  

Also I'm with my Partner, Meg, (not saying her actual name) and we've been together for nine months now and it's still a lot to take in, I love her so much she fits me perfectly, but In my head, I keep looking at how beautiful she is and how ugly I am and I keep thinking that I'm not enough, were supposedly meeting up in the summer but I'm a nervous wreck because I've never gone out with someone, well I have but not outside of school of on here so I'm under the impression that because of how I am I'm going to screw it up and then that's it, I mess everything up anyway so if wouldn't surprise me if I did, and I feel like a burden because I just feel like I'm in the way and that I'm a freak and I don't deserve to be with her I really want her I love her so much but my brain just hates me and says otherwise, I don't know what to do

Hi there, I’m Blondie, one of the support mentors.

Thank you for opening up about this. You absolutely did not deserve to be bullied and you deserved to get help at that time so I’m sorry that didn’t happen.

Understandably this has affected your confidence and self esteem so I want to be a voice reassuring you that you deserve to take space in this world, to thrive, to love and be loved.

I realise that this doesn’t magically make those feelings go away but we can work on this together.

Meg clearly sees you for the person you are and is seeing your value and worth even if you can’t at the moment. 
Have you ever shared with her even some of how you’re feeling?