Bullied in class - young minority woman with social anxiety

[sighing0518]

Hello Ditch the Label community,

 

I recently joined an improv class as the advice of my social anxiety group leader to challenge myself. The improv class was my first acting class, ever. Even though I was not very good I was really happy to be in class...until two classmates started to mock my performance. They would make rude comments when in the audience or speak at me really loudly and slowly when we were partners as if I didn't understand the teacher's instructions. I first questioned whether I was being bullied, and then when it sank in, froze and didn't hit back. I just...took it.

 

My mind has kept coming back to the incidents this whole week. I'm afraid I would not be able to stand up for myself at the next class (this weekend). I feel helpless, a little sad and really really wish I was stronger. I'm writing to air my feelings and seek your input, if you have any.

 

Thank you,

 

sighing*

[Willow]

Hey sighing0518,

 

Thank you for coming and sharing your story with Community. Huge props for you for following through with the challenge!

 

Improv is such a fun thing to do-- and a great exercise in challenging yourself and freeing your thought!

 

What people tend to take for granted is their experience. It sounds like these classmates had acted before and it came easily to them-- but that means they should be helpful, not trying to make you feel bad.

 

I'm wondering how the class went this weekend? I'm sorry you were worrying about it all week... that's definitely not a great headspace to be in, when you're trying to over come feeling socially anxious.

 

And, by the way, you are strong! You brought your feelings here... and sometimes just being able to talk it out is super helpful!

 

 

-willow

[sillyme]

OP,

 

You're a lot better than me. I was told to sing in choir at college. Unfortunately, i'm not your average female. I'm a tomboy.. Living on my own since 14 years old.

 

Long story short, i worked in a shipyard as a welder, at the time. I walked into vocal music class, and was an immediate target. I rode a motorcycle, and sometimes a 10 speed bike, worked out at the gym, and yes, i was working as a welder. My steel toed boots, and cammies were immediately the brunt of jokes with the girls. I am told i'm very attractive, which was another problem. It was almost like being the girl from Flash Dance - except, in my opinion? She was a heck of lot more BEAUTIFUL than i'll ever be.

 

The alpha of the group wouldn't let up with the "Mike the Dike" comments. Right out in front of the teacher who didn't say a word. I was laughed at, taunted by the girls. While the boys smiled, and waited to see if i would react, or even worse - get into a fight. This was a very rough end of town. And fighting was very common in that community college.

 

When it was my turn to sing? Well, everything changed in less than a second. I had the highest range. The teacher was beaming - until my voice cracked. She and the other students were actually encouraging.

 

But, what killed it for me? That alpha of the mean-girls walked up in front of everyone, and put her arm around my shoulder and smiled at me.

 

For the first time at the age of about 25 years old, i became angry. I became angry at how every one in the room, one minute was mean and hurtful.. And within one second of seeing i had talent.. They were all "my buddies."

 

I was angry not only at the alpha? But the teacher who sat back for over 45 mins. that let the taunting, and paper throwing go on as if she didn't see it.

 

I shrugged out of the alpha's hug, and stared her down. Everyone stood there in complete silence, as i looked at all of them, picked up my back pack, books, and helmet.

 

I walked out of that class room. And never came back. I never had a singing career after that either. I never became rich, discovered or famous, but i learned to do one thing. I did not bow/conform to the crowd for their approval. I approved of myself.

 

And at the end of the day, OP? That is all that matters.