Confused.

[Mars]

For the past two years I have had thoughts/ feelings of being bi. 
I’ve never been in a relationship and I see myself dating men. But sometimes whenever I see some women who I feel attracted too I start to feel a certain way (good way). I’ve never pictured myself in a relationship with the same gender as me (female), so I always avoided the idea of me being bi. I have come to learn that being bi doesn’t necessarily mean you would date them. But I don’t know if I just think some women are really hot/pretty and that’s it or if it’s something more. I don’t talk about this to anyone cause I have no idea what to think myself. Today someone showed me a picture of this girl and I immediately thought she was gorgeous, but I couldn’t comprehend whether I felt attracted to her or just thought she was cute in a natural way. 

Edited May 29, 2022 by Mars
Added more info

[Daisie]

Hey @Mars  Welcome to the Community!

I am Daisie a Community Warden and I just wanted to drop you a warm welcome. I hope you'll find our forum a safe and positive place. Whilst we have awesome and truly helpful members within the forum, who may be able to offer similar experiences and how they dealt with them, we do also have Trained Digital Mentors on hand should you want any support or advice from them. I'll tag them in so you know who they are. @Blondie.

Look forward to seeing you around. 

[Blondie]

6 hours ago, Mars said:

For the past two years I have had thoughts/ feelings of being bi. 
I’ve never been in a relationship and I see myself dating men. But sometimes whenever I see some women who I feel attracted too I start to feel a certain way (good way). I’ve never pictured myself in a relationship with the same gender as me (female), so I always avoided the idea of me being bi. I have come to learn that being bi doesn’t necessarily mean you would date them. But I don’t know if I just think some women are really hot/pretty and that’s it or if it’s something more. I don’t talk about this to anyone cause I have no idea what to think myself. Today someone showed me a picture of this girl and I immediately thought she was gorgeous, but I couldn’t comprehend whether I felt attracted to her or just thought she was cute in a natural way. 

Hey there, as you mentioned, it's completely possible to be bi and still find that you would primarily date one gender.  You can also be sexually attracted to say, females but with males find that you feel romantic and sexual attraction.

It's also possible to only be in opposite sex relationships in your lifetime but still acknowledge that you find women attractive. I think it's a huge positive because it sounds like you'd be open to a same sex experience / relationship - would you agree?

[Mars]

27 minutes ago, Blondie said:

Hey there, as you mentioned, it's completely possible to be bi and still find that you would primarily date one gender.  You can also be sexually attracted to say, females but with males find that you feel romantic and sexual attraction.

It's also possible to only be in opposite sex relationships in your lifetime but still acknowledge that you find women attractive. I think it's a huge positive because it sounds like you'd be open to a same sex experience / relationship - would you agree?

 

I had never thought about it that way. I always felt because I wouldn’t be too inclined to have relationships with girls that I couldn’t label myself as bi. It felt as though there was certain thing you had to “do” to include yourself as part of the community (which now I know is not true). 

I like how you said “It's also possible to only be in opposite sex relationships in your lifetime but still acknowledge that you find women attractive.” I think that’s something that describes how I feel.
 

 

[Blondie]

3 hours ago, Mars said:

I had never thought about it that way. I always felt because I wouldn’t be too inclined to have relationships with girls that I couldn’t label myself as bi. It felt as though there was certain thing you had to “do” to include yourself as part of the community (which now I know is not true). 

I like how you said “It's also possible to only be in opposite sex relationships in your lifetime but still acknowledge that you find women attractive.” I think that’s something that describes how I feel.
 

That’s a very interesting point when you said that you felt you had to ‘do’ something in order to be part of the community. And I can understand how this can be confusing.

Ultimately you know how you feel and how you feel is completely valid.

[julia324]

i don't really have any advice i just wanted to pop in and say that i feel that exact same. like, i've never had a girl crush or pictured myself with women before, but i do think women are hot? like not just wow she's pretty in an objective sense but more like the same kind of attraction i feel when i see a hot man. i don't know if i'd wanna date or kiss someone of the same gender yet because this is all new to me and i've always just assumed i'm straight, so i haven't really given myself much thought when i saw an attractive women. and then i learnt that not only does being bi mean it doesn't hv to be 50/50, but then u can only have certain attraction to one gender and not to another, or that u can still just date men and think women are attractive, which just confused me more lol.  i feel like i'm not gay enough to be bi but not straight enough to be completely straight? anyways i hope you find ur answers! <3

[Mars]

10 hours ago, julia324 said:

i don't really have any advice i just wanted to pop in and say that i feel that exact same. like, i've never had a girl crush or pictured myself with women before, but i do think women are hot? like not just wow she's pretty in an objective sense but more like the same kind of attraction i feel when i see a hot man. i don't know if i'd wanna date or kiss someone of the same gender yet because this is all new to me and i've always just assumed i'm straight, so i haven't really given myself much thought when i saw an attractive women. and then i learnt that not only does being bi mean it doesn't hv to be 50/50, but then u can only have certain attraction to one gender and not to another, or that u can still just date men and think women are attractive, which just confused me more lol.  i feel like i'm not gay enough to be bi but not straight enough to be completely straight? anyways i hope you find ur answers! <3

That is exactly how I feel! And it can get confusing at times. I hope we both find the answer we are looking for :)