Jump to content

confused about my sexuality


Recommended Posts

hi so for a while i was straight and then i thought i was bi because i started developing feelings for this girl freshman year (a year ago) but here's the thing. i am sexually attracted to girls but im not sexually attracted to guys. (at least i dont think so) dicks scare me. i am scared of penises. im scared of giving head to a guy. im just terrified. but i have romantic feelings for guys. and i would totally want to like kiss them, hug them. and do romantic stuff, im just scared of sexual stuff. for girls its the opposite. i dont know how i feel about being romantic towards a girl. like kissing is fine. but like all that romantic attraction and excitement is something i'm unsure about. but then again, i get crushes on girls not so often. im not sure if its because my dads homophobic, so i try to stay away from anything involving girls idk? like i get crushes on girls where im like either so obsessed with them and i want to do all of that romantic stuff. but that happens like once a year. for the rest of the year, im honestly not really interested. like periodically ill find a girl hot, but normally i need to have a friendship with a girl to develop feelings for a girl. but for guys it doesn't matter and i always think guys are hot. but then for girls it's so much more complicated. idk if its just because im inexperienced and idk what i like but honestly im just so confused. and i know im not supposed to figure it out right now, and i know that these types of decisions take time but i dont know where i am. im so lost. and i know that i can always be unlabeled too. i just dont really know how to feel. my mind is so discombobulated. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Digital Mentor
9 hours ago, randompersonnnn said:

hi so for a while i was straight and then i thought i was bi because i started developing feelings for this girl freshman year (a year ago) but here's the thing. i am sexually attracted to girls but im not sexually attracted to guys. (at least i dont think so) dicks scare me. i am scared of penises. im scared of giving head to a guy. im just terrified. but i have romantic feelings for guys. and i would totally want to like kiss them, hug them. and do romantic stuff, im just scared of sexual stuff. for girls its the opposite. i dont know how i feel about being romantic towards a girl. like kissing is fine. but like all that romantic attraction and excitement is something i'm unsure about. but then again, i get crushes on girls not so often. im not sure if its because my dads homophobic, so i try to stay away from anything involving girls idk? like i get crushes on girls where im like either so obsessed with them and i want to do all of that romantic stuff. but that happens like once a year. for the rest of the year, im honestly not really interested. like periodically ill find a girl hot, but normally i need to have a friendship with a girl to develop feelings for a girl. but for guys it doesn't matter and i always think guys are hot. but then for girls it's so much more complicated. idk if its just because im inexperienced and idk what i like but honestly im just so confused. and i know im not supposed to figure it out right now, and i know that these types of decisions take time but i dont know where i am. im so lost. and i know that i can always be unlabeled too. i just dont really know how to feel. my mind is so discombobulated. 

Hi there, I can understand why you would feel confused but it's actually pretty common for people to be attracted to people in a variety of way, and exactly as you described - some people sexual attraction and some people romantic.

You're right, we can be influenced by others around us which can affect how we see same sex relationships / attractions. Easier said than done I know, but try to remove some pressure from yourself and allow yourself to explore relationships based on their merit, so if you like a girl or a guy, try and put aside the sexual attraction part and see how you feel as you get to know them.

I realise that life isn't as simple but sometimes we need to gradually unpick our feelings - does that make sense?

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If I were you I'd try to test my boundaries, see if you CAN enjoy a sexual experience with a guy, OR a romantic experience with a girl, remember there's no right way to be. Most people who are bi have preferences and caveats around their sexuality. Remember t's totally fine for you to be like this. and there's no huge pressure to figure yourself out immediately.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...