I am helpless

[Sahlo F]

Everything I do seems like another failed attempt. My world as I know it is crumbling upon me and, now everything I do is useless. And in this abys, I feel like I hurt everyone I love. First, it was her, then my friends, now my parents. One by one, will they all leave me like her? Am I the problem, did I care for her too much? All of this started after I told her about my depression. I feel so lost now 

[Cal_The_Oyster]

Gos this sound rough

I'll tag @Monsoon in this so perhaps he can help

 

Wishing you all the best and sending you love

Me

[Monsoon]

4 hours ago, Sahlo Folina said:

Everything I do seems like another failed attempt. My world as I know it is crumbling upon me and, now everything I do is useless. And in this abys, I feel like I hurt everyone I love. First, it was her, then my friends, now my parents. One by one, will they all leave me like her? Am I the problem, did I care for her too much? All of this started after I told her about my depression. I feel so lost now 

Hey there,

Welcome to our community. It sounds like you're low at the moment which is totally understandable. I can imagine it's hard for you to trust people at the moment, and almost going down the route of blaming yourself which I think we've all done at some point. I noticed what you said about everything you do seems like another failed attempt, and i'm wondering, can you tell me more about that?

[Sahlo F]

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Welcome to our community. It sounds like you're low at the moment which is totally understandable. I can imagine it's hard for you to trust people at the moment, and almost going down the route of blaming yourself which I think we've all done at some point. I noticed what you said about everything you do seems like another failed attempt, and I'm wondering, can you tell me more about that?

 

Well ,

Before all this started, I was in a relationship with a girl who, at the time felt like the perfect partner. But later on, I found out that she cheated on me with one of my friends. I left her as soon as I found out. It left me depressed for quite a few months. I was on suicide watch for a few days as well. I didn't even get into a relationship for 2 years until finally, I met someone who cares about me when no one did. She meant everything to me. It started as a friendship but later turned into a romance. I asked her out but she rejected me(not once but twice). I was okay with it cause I just wanted her to be happy. But the thing was, she didn't want me to leave her as well or even start a relationship with another. As soon as she found out that I was dating a girl again, she blocked me and stopped talking immediately. I felt so betrayed cause I was there for her through thick and thin. Then my depression came back to me. Now I'm in a relationship again but due to my depression, my partner gets hurt every day. I feel so bad for that. I'm avoiding my friends as well. I don't want them to hurt because of me. Even my family is a bit worried about me. Every time I try to help anyone, I feel like I end up hurting them. I feel like that's why they left. Now I live in constant fear of failing and it feels like I'm waking up to a huge weight so I spend my time inside my room isolated from the world. 

 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Okay, yeah, that makes sense with that you said about living in fear of constantly failing and as a result, then hiding yourself away from the world. I'm wondering, though, can you tell me more about why you think you've failed people?