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I'm Willow!!!!!!


Willow Β  Β 

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Hi Hi Everyone!

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I'm Willow-- a Digital Support Mentor in the LA office! So happy to be here and get to share advice and experiences with you guys.

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There's, already, so many wonderful conversations going on in Community. You all really support each other in a healthy, curious, considerate ways. We're SO much better at supporting one another when we work together!

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-willow

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  • Ditch the Label Staff

Yay! Welcome to Community Willow! Super excited to be working together.

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  • 3 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Willow! I'm new here and would like to get your advise on something kinda personal since there is nobody else I can talk to. I wanted to get your opinion on whether I should come out to my older sister or my parents? If you think I should come out to them, how? I just want to apologize first and say that this is gonna be really long. I am a 14 year old female with parents who are serious Christians and think being gay is a sin. When my parents met my 19 year old sister's gay friends they didn't say anything rude/mean, but they do not agree with their lifestyle and think they are going to Hell for sinning/being gay. Now I know my parents, and I know for a fact they wouldn't react well to the news of me being gay, especially my dad, I just don't know how bad their reaction would be. For example, one day my older sister was listening to some rap music and when my dad found out what she was listening to he said that if she was gonna listen to that stuff she should go find her own place to live (he didn't exactly kick her out because he gave her the choice of staying, but only if she stopped listening to that music and some other things to that I didn't mention here), and so she did and she is now currently staying with some of her friends in a small apartment. But now my parents want her to come back and live with us for another year, or so, but my sister doesn't really want to. Anyways, keeping my sexuality a secret is killing me, but at the same time I'm so scared to tell anyone because I don't know how they'll react. I feel like there is nobody I can tell because all my life I've attended a Christian school and gone to Church, so most of my friends are Christians too and don't think homosexuality is right. I think the only person I could tell right now would be my older sister because she has a few gay friends and is good friends with them all; I honestly don't think she'd care if I'm gay, or straight (in a good way), but I still don't know why I'm so nervous to tell her we literally tell everything to each other. A few days ago me, my mom, and my older sister went out to eat lunch and before we dropped her off at her apartment she asked me if I had a boyfriend. So badly I wanted to respond by saying, "Of course not I don't even like boys, I like girls," but instead all I could say was," No." This year, I'll be going to a public school for the first time in my life for high school and so the school did this thing were incoming 9th graders got to meet each other and stuff so we would know some people before starting school. There was this boy that I became friends with and I was texting him at my house about our summer assignments and my mom asked who I was texting. I told her it was a friend and she asked if it was a guy or a girl. Right when I said guy, she was like are you sure your just friends. For some reason this made me so angry and all I wanted to do was tell her, " Yes, we are just friends I don't even like boys, I'm gay." but instead I just said," Yes." Every time someone asks me if I have a boyfriend, or if there is a boy that I like, it makes me so angry that people assume I'm straight when I am not. I especially hate it when people ask me if there is anybody that I like, because there is somebody that I like, but she is a girl. So whenever people ask that question I just have to say No because if I say Yes they'll ask who is HE even though it's not a HE; and if I say it's not a boy my secret will be out. As I get older, I'm afraid that if I don't date any boys people will suspect something is up, especially my parents since my older sister dated tons of boys when she was in high school. Even as I'm writing this now, my heart is beating so fast and my my hands are literally shaking because I've never told the truth about myself to anyone before, even if it is some stranger on the internet. I just want somebody's advice on whether I should come out to my sister and how (since I don't see her as much anymore) because right now I don't think I'm ready to come out to my parents. I really want to come out to somebody because I'm tired of hiding who I am to everyone close to me; it's exhausting and it's been giving me a lot of stress lately.

Thanks in advance for your advice!

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