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Advice on how to come out to homophobic parent


eva_xx
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I’ve struggled with my sexuality for awhile constantly hiding it for years and have finally came out properly to my mum. She’s the biggest support ever but my dad will not be. He comes from a background that being gay is highly frowned upon and in his country is still punishable by death. I am ready to come out but I’m scared of how it will go. Any advice? 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @eva_xx

I’m really glad that going out to your mom went well. I can imagine that was a big weight off your shoulders when she had such a positive reaction. How are you feeling about it? 

I’m wondering, with your dad, how do you think he will react? 

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On 2/28/2022 at 4:35 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey @eva_xx

I’m really glad that going out to your mom went well. I can imagine that was a big weight off your shoulders when she had such a positive reaction. How are you feeling about it? 

I’m wondering, with your dad, how do you think he will react? 

I’m really happy about my mum I think she knew for a while that I was pan but didn’t pressure me to like admit it. With my dad I feel like he will react badly my step mum was once watching drag race with my little brother Nathan in the room and to quote him he said ‘turn that off you’re going to make Nathan gay’ and that made me really uncomfortable that even the thought of his son being gay made him angry so I’m not sure if he would even want me in his house again 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

Yeah, I can totally get why that made you feel uncomfortable. I'm thinking, even if he does have a negative reaction at first, do you think he will come around over time? Do you think your mum would be able to help him work through any of those challenging feelings he has towards the LGBTQ+ community? 

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  • 4 weeks later...

My mum and dad are separated they don’t really speak unless it’s serious and involves me or my sister. I’m honestly not very sure if he would ever get over it he’s from a place in Asian and there it’s illegal to be gay and I feel like he wouldn’t understand. People keep telling me not to tell him at all but I feel like he should know 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

I mean, it's completely up to you whether he knows or not, but I think that if you do tell him, the more time that passes, the more opportunity he has to come to terms with it, but it might take a while. What do you think?

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