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This topic contains content which has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness, Self-Harm

My intro


Earthstar98    

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Hi, I'm Terra. Im from the USA and my pronouns are she/her. I've been questioning myself a lot this past year after the end of a 5yr hetero relationship and after a long truthful talk with my college bff i finally admitted the truth to myself. I'm still terrified to tell anyone as when my cousin came out a few years ago everyone was anything but supportive. 

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Hey there,

Welcome to our community. How are you feeling after admitting the truth to yourself? I think a lot of people can feel quite relieved in a way, but then, it's also pretty common to feel nervous about coming out too.  I'm wondering, do you think it could be different when you come out compared to how it was for your cousin? How are people with her now? I hope they're more supportive. 

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I'm relieved that I'm not lying to myself anymore but very nervous about coming out. Unfortunately my family is still very judging and unsupportive. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough.

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10 hours ago, Earthstar98 said:

I'm relieved that I'm not lying to myself anymore but very nervous about coming out. Unfortunately my family is still very judging and unsupportive. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough.

Hey there,

I'm glad you're feeling relieved; it's so liberating when we can finally be honest with ourselves :)

I'm wondering. although you've described your family as very judging and unsupportive, I'm wondering, compared to when your cousin first came out, what improvements have there been in the way that they treat her? 

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There honestly haven't been any improvements. She was told that her gf couldn't attend family get togethers so they just don't come around anymore.  The majority of the family is Catholic.

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8 hours ago, Earthstar98 said:

There honestly haven't been any improvements. She was told that her gf couldn't attend family get togethers so they just don't come around anymore.  The majority of the family is Catholic.

Hey,

Okay, thank you for sharing that with me. I can totally see why this makes terrified to tell them, and I think it's a completely understandable reaction. Can I ask, how do you think your parents/carers would react? How have they been about your cousin? 

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I'm not sure how my mom would react because she hasn't been as outspoken as my stepdad but both make very cruel comments on the subject.  They weren't accepting of my cousin at all unfortunately 😕 

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13 hours ago, Earthstar98 said:

I'm not sure how my mom would react because she hasn't been as outspoken as my stepdad but both make very cruel comments on the subject.  They weren't accepting of my cousin at all unfortunately 😕 

Hey there,

Interesting that your mom hasn't been as outspoken as your stepdad; why do you think that is? 

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23 hours ago, Earthstar98 said:

She's always been more passive aggressive,  which sometimes is worse cause you never really know what's going on 

Hey,

Ah, I get you - thanks for telling me that. I'm wondering, do you think they might react differently when you come out? The reason I ask is because these views are about your cousin, and they might react differently to you because you're closer. I think it's easier for people to not have to challenge their beliefs about family members who aren't as closely related, but when it's a child or a sibling for example, it can be completely different. What do you think? 

 

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness, Self-Harm

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I want to believe that they love me enough to accept me but they've made me be little miss perfect my whole life. Cheerleading, mathleets, 4.0, never make a fuss. Little miss perfect. Last year i committed myself due to being afraid of hurting myself.  My mom has said that i faked that countless times since, even with the scars so its hard to believe that they can or will accept me. Nobody in my life knows how i feel. I love my family and trust them, just not with this

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Hey there,

Ah, it sounds like you're feeling the pressure to be perfect, and I'm wondering, how do you think your sexuality fits in with that perfection? 

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20 hours ago, Earthstar98 said:

It's part of who I am so it fits to me.

Hey there,

Exactly, you are who you are, and everyone is perfect. What do you think about that? What does being perfect mean to you? 

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