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Why I'm here


Helpmeineedsupport    

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Tw/ Mention of homophobia

 

The reason why I'm here is because I want some where I can talk to somebody without my homophobic dad finding out. I hope to make new friends who eventually warm up and tell their story like I told mine

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9 hours ago, Helpmeineedsupport said:

Tw/ Mention of homophobia

The reason why I'm here is because I want some where I can talk to somebody without my homophobic dad finding out. I hope to make new friends who eventually warm up and tell their story like I told mine

Hey there,

Welcome to our community; I'm one of the digital mentors here which means that I give advice and support to our members who reach out to us. How is everything going for you at the moment? 

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 11/16/2021 at 3:38 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Welcome to our community; I'm one of the digital mentors here which means that I give advice and support to our members who reach out to us. How is everything going for you at the moment? 

I'm doing good, besides having to live with my homophobic and transphobic dad every day. Wbu?

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6 hours ago, Helpmeineedsupport said:

I'm doing good, besides having to live with my homophobic and transphobic dad every day. Wbu?

Hey,

Ah, how are you finding that at the moment? What's it like for you? 

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1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Ah, how are you finding that at the moment? What's it like for you? 

It is quite difficult.  Any time he can he talks about how being gay is wrong and that their going to hell and that if your a girl you can't change your gender and stuff. Last night  I couldn't sleep so I went to his room and we talked and suddenly my sibling was brought up (16 non-binary)  and he said how he thinks that they are trying to be a boy and he kept like saying that it was gross and that he would kick them out. I know something he doesn't know though, they are. They have a binder and have changed their name from a girl name to a boy type name. My dad doesn't know any of this and I hope he never finds out until they move out and are able to do whatever they want

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Hey there,

Ah, that does sound pretty tough. I know that it can be hard to hear that kind of language because I’ve supported others in similar situations to you, and I just want you to know that we are here to talk it through with you at any time. I’m wondering, do you think he will always think like this, or could he potentially change his mind eventually? 

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On 12/10/2021 at 9:46 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Ah, that does sound pretty tough. I know that it can be hard to hear that kind of language because I’ve supported others in similar situations to you, and I just want you to know that we are here to talk it through with you at any time. I’m wondering, do you think he will always think like this, or could he potentially change his mind eventually? 

Oh no, he will never change his mind. He is a very strict christian and talks about the bible on a daily basis so there is no way he will ever change his mind about the lbgtq+ community 

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25 minutes ago, Helpmeineedsupport said:

Oh no, he will never change his mind. He is a very strict christian and talks about the bible on a daily basis so there is no way he will ever change his mind about the lbgtq+ community 

I think that means that you should never tell him about your lgbtq-ness...at least until you move out and never have to talk to him again. I think perhaps avoiding talking about anything that has to do with the lgbtq community is the best option here, because you don't want to start talking about that and let anything slip.

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12 hours ago, MimeNegative said:

I think that means that you should never tell him about your lgbtq-ness...at least until you move out and never have to talk to him again. I think perhaps avoiding talking about anything that has to do with the lgbtq community is the best option here, because you don't want to start talking about that and let anything slip.

You wouldn't believe how many times I have heard that, and how many times it has gotten annoying af to hear. It hurts to hear him talk bad about the lbgtq+ like that

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2 minutes ago, Helpmeineedsupport said:

You wouldn't believe how many times I have heard that, and how many times it has gotten annoying af to hear. It hurts to hear him talk bad about the lbgtq+ like that

Yeah mate, it's best to keep quiet :'( I hate to have what I like talking about being downtrodden, but for now, you'll just have to suck it up...sorry, mate :(

Edited by MimeNegative
Misspelling lol
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13 hours ago, Helpmeineedsupport said:

Oh no, he will never change his mind. He is a very strict christian and talks about the bible on a daily basis so there is no way he will ever change his mind about the lbgtq+ community 

Hey there,

It must be pretty hard to know your truth when keeping in mind how your father views the LGBTQ+ community. I know it may be difficult to consider the possibility that he may change at some point in the future, but I have seen it happen a bunch of times. Parents have so much love for their children; when they have strong views on LGBTQ+ identities and their child then turns out to be a member of the community, it really gets them to a point where they are at a crossroads, but then the journey can be amazing in the sense that the individual then ends up going down a road where they become more open minded and accepting of those they used to judge, so try to keep that in mind if you can, but I get that that might be difficult.

I'm wondering, if you did come out to him, do you think it would be safe? 

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6 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It must be pretty hard to know your truth when keeping in mind how your father views the LGBTQ+ community. I know it may be difficult to consider the possibility that he may change at some point in the future, but I have seen it happen a bunch of times. Parents have so much love for their children; when they have strong views on LGBTQ+ identities and their child then turns out to be a member of the community, it really gets them to a point where they are at a crossroads, but then the journey can be amazing in the sense that the individual then ends up going down a road where they become more open minded and accepting of those they used to judge, so try to keep that in mind if you can, but I get that that might be difficult.

I'm wondering, if you did come out to him, do you think it would be safe? 

No I don't, when he found out my sibling (16 non-binary) was non-binary he threatened to kick them out when they turned 18 so I don't think it will be safe for me to come out

4 hours ago, richthakid said:

People will love you no matter what... chin up buddy!

Thanks dude

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19 hours ago, Helpmeineedsupport said:

No I don't, when he found out my sibling (16 non-binary) was non-binary he threatened to kick them out when they turned 18 so I don't think it will be safe for me to come out

Thanks dude

I completely agree with you that we should all be free to be ourselves and celebrate that and especially with those we are the closest to. Sadly, we know that for many this isn't possible until they gain more independence, leave home for work or college etc. The concern would be that your safety and security would be placed in danger. Do you have any family friends or other relatives that you feel might offer support? 

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9 hours ago, Blondie said:

I completely agree with you that we should all be free to be ourselves and celebrate that and especially with those we are the closest to. Sadly, we know that for many this isn't possible until they gain more independence, leave home for work or college etc. The concern would be that your safety and security would be placed in danger. Do you have any family friends or other relatives that you feel might offer support? 

I told my grandma and she supported me

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On 12/15/2021 at 8:31 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

That’s amazing! How are you feeling after it? :)

It feels amazing to know that she supports me and is willing to keep the secret from my dad

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16 hours ago, Helpmeineedsupport said:

It feels amazing to know that she supports me and is willing to keep the secret from my dad

Hey there,

Yeah, that must be really comforting and reassuring for you. Have you noticed any changed in yourself since you came out to her? 

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  • 1 month later...
On 12/16/2021 at 10:56 PM, Helpmeineedsupport said:

It feels amazing to know that she supports me and is willing to keep the secret from my dad

yeah my older brother and his finace are the same way

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