Hi, I’m new here

[Phantom]

Hi, you can just call me Phantom. I’m new here and I don’t really know how this site works, but here goes!

I always had a pretty hard time fitting in.  I get very nervous during social interactions. I also stim a lot (in case you don’t know what that is, its when someone makes repetitive sounds or movements, sometimes to help manage emotions. What I do is that I flap my hands or move my neck in strange ways, or I might make unusual noises.) This has caused a lot of people to assume that I’m on the autism spectrum (I have not been diagnosed with anything) and it made me feel very self conscious. I always worry that there’s something wrong with me.

I started at a new school this year, and I’m super overwhelmed. I’m having an incredibly hard time making friends and it feels like everyone already has a set friend circle. I also feel like everyone thinks I’m weird all the time.

That’s some stuff about me. I hope I learn how to work through some of the self-esteem issues i have and maybe meet some nice people

Edited October 21, 2021 by Phantom

[Lillyx]

32 minutes ago, Phantom said:

Hi, you can just call me Phantom. I’m new here and I don’t really know how this site works, but here goes!

I always had a pretty hard time fitting in.  I get very nervous during social interactions. I also stim a lot (in case you don’t know what that is, its when someone makes repetitive sounds or movements, sometimes to help manage emotions. What I do is that I flap my hands or move my neck in strange ways, or I might make unusual noises.) This has caused a lot of people to assume that I’m on the autism spectrum (I have not been diagnosed with anything) and it made me feel very self conscious. I always worry that there’s something wrong with me.

I started at a new school this year, and I’m super overwhelmed. I’m having an incredibly hard time making friends and it feels like everyone already has a set friend circle. I also feel like everyone thinks I’m weird all the time.

That’s some stuff about me. I hope I learn how to work through some of the self-esteem issues i have and maybe meet some nice people

hey Phantom, welcome to DTL such a blessing to have you. how is it settling at your new school? Making friends is such a really big thing and starting a new school and feel like that maybe you can't or won't be able to make new friends. My brother has Autism so can agree with you about the feelings your getting, are you seeing someone for it?  even if you do get diagnosed with Autism we will still care and think highly of you and your amazing for reaching out, hope to see you around  - Lilly 

[Daisie]

Hey Phantom! Welcome to the forums, lovely to meet you. I am Daisie a Community Warden.
Hope you find the community warm and welcoming, any questions please just ask.

We have mentors on hand Should you need any help and support. 
 

Look forward to seeing you around!

[Lillyx]

Just now, Daisie said:

Hey Phantom! Welcome to the forums, lovely to meet you. I am Daisie a Community Warden.
Hope you find the community warm and welcoming, any questions please just ask.

We have mentors on hand Should you need any help and support. 
 

Look forward to seeing you around!

@Phantom Daisie is the best

[Phantom]

1 hour ago, Lillyrose4 said:

hey Phantom, welcome to DTL such a blessing to have you. how is it settling at your new school? Making friends is such a really big thing and starting a new school and feel like that maybe you can't or won't be able to make new friends. My brother has Autism so can agree with you about the feelings your getting, are you seeing someone for it?  even if you do get diagnosed with Autism we will still care and think highly of you and your amazing for reaching out, hope to see you around  - Lilly 

Hi Lilly!

School is fine, but I’m still adjusting. The school is really big and there’s a bunch of people here.

I haven’t been tested for autism, and as far as i know it’s a very confusing process. But it’s good to know that I’ll still be accepted even if I do have autism

you seem very friendly btw!

[Monsoon]

12 hours ago, Phantom said:

Hi, you can just call me Phantom. I’m new here and I don’t really know how this site works, but here goes!

I always had a pretty hard time fitting in.  I get very nervous during social interactions. I also stim a lot (in case you don’t know what that is, its when someone makes repetitive sounds or movements, sometimes to help manage emotions. What I do is that I flap my hands or move my neck in strange ways, or I might make unusual noises.) This has caused a lot of people to assume that I’m on the autism spectrum (I have not been diagnosed with anything) and it made me feel very self conscious. I always worry that there’s something wrong with me.

I started at a new school this year, and I’m super overwhelmed. I’m having an incredibly hard time making friends and it feels like everyone already has a set friend circle. I also feel like everyone thinks I’m weird all the time.

That’s some stuff about me. I hope I learn how to work through some of the self-esteem issues i have and maybe meet some nice people

Hey @Phantom

Welcome to our community. How are you doing? I'm one of the support mentors here which means that I give advice and support to our members for a whole range of issues, including mental health, bullying, relationship, sexuality and gender identity, self esteem, and much more. 

It does sound like you're struggling at school a bit. I'm wondering, what is it that is making you feel overwhelmed there? 

[Lillyx]

11 hours ago, Phantom said:

Hi Lilly!

School is fine, but I’m still adjusting. The school is really big and there’s a bunch of people here.

I haven’t been tested for autism, and as far as i know it’s a very confusing process. But it’s good to know that I’ll still be accepted even if I do have autism

you seem very friendly btw!

aw thanks :), how are you today? hope your okay x

[Phantom]

2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Phantom

Welcome to our community. How are you doing? I'm one of the support mentors here which means that I give advice and support to our members for a whole range of issues, including mental health, bullying, relationship, sexuality and gender identity, self esteem, and much more. 

It does sound like you're struggling at school a bit. I'm wondering, what is it that is making you feel overwhelmed there? 

Hi there. Some of the things that are overwhelming me at school is that it’s a very unfamiliar environment in general. I miss the friends i had at my old school, and the new school is so big that I worry about getting lost all the time. All in all I just feel like I don’t belong there, and I always feel like everyone’s staring at me.

[Lillyx]

1 minute ago, Phantom said:

Hi there. Some of the things that are overwhelming me at school is that it’s a very unfamiliar environment in general. I miss the friends i had at my old school, and the new school is so big that I worry about getting lost all the time. All in all I just feel like I don’t belong there, and I always feel like everyone’s staring at me.

heyy you ok?

[Phantom]

Just now, Lillyrose4 said:

heyy you ok?

Im fine right now, just a bit nervous. Im a pretty anxious person in general. But thanks for asking.

[Lillyx]

2 minutes ago, Phantom said:

Im fine right now, just a bit nervous. Im a pretty anxious person in general. But thanks for asking.

aww  hugs

[Monsoon]

21 hours ago, Phantom said:

Hi there. Some of the things that are overwhelming me at school is that it’s a very unfamiliar environment in general. I miss the friends i had at my old school, and the new school is so big that I worry about getting lost all the time. All in all I just feel like I don’t belong there, and I always feel like everyone’s staring at me.

Hey there,

Yeah, it does sound pretty overwhelming for you at the moment, I'm wondering, is there one thing you could do to help you feel more settled at the school? If so, what is it? 

[Phantom]

2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, it does sound pretty overwhelming for you at the moment, I'm wondering, is there one thing you could do to help you feel more settled at the school? If so, what is it? 

I really don’t know. My plan was to make at least one friend so I was able to talk to them, but making friends is really hard, and I keep worrying about embarrassing myself.

[Lillyx]

3 hours ago, Phantom said:

I really don’t know. My plan was to make at least one friend so I was able to talk to them, but making friends is really hard, and I keep worrying about embarrassing myself.

u ok

[Phantom]

20 minutes ago, Lillyrose4 said:

u ok

I’m fine, I tried to take some time to get my mind off things and I’m feeling better.

[Lillyx]

37 minutes ago, Phantom said:

I’m fine, I tried to take some time to get my mind off things and I’m feeling better.

gd gd

i am so close to fckin do

[Monsoon]

22 hours ago, Phantom said:

I really don’t know. My plan was to make at least one friend so I was able to talk to them, but making friends is really hard, and I keep worrying about embarrassing myself.

Hey there,

Ah, that's interesting. I'm wondering, where does that worry come from? Also, has there been a time when you've embarrassed yourself before and it's been okay? I know it has been for me, and probably plenty of others too. 

17 hours ago, Lillyrose4 said:

gd gd

i am so close to fckin do

Hey Lilly,

I just want you to know that I've sent you a message to check in and see how you're doing. Speak soon. 

[Phantom]

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Ah, that's interesting. I'm wondering, where does that worry come from? Also, has there been a time when you've embarrassed yourself before and it's been okay? I know it has been for me, and probably plenty of others too. 

I worry a lot about getting embarrassed because when I get embarrassed, I get SUPER uncomfortable. A lot more than I’m supposed to, I think. It always messes me up during social interactions even at home because I’ll end up super upset over something dumb that I shouldn’t even be hurt by. Because of that, I almost feel like I’m doomed to never make friends.

[Lillyx]

8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Ah, that's interesting. I'm wondering, where does that worry come from? Also, has there been a time when you've embarrassed yourself before and it's been okay? I know it has been for me, and probably plenty of others too. 

Hey Lilly,

I just want you to know that I've sent you a message to check in and see how you're doing. Speak soon. 

 not doing good

[Monsoon]

On 10/24/2021 at 1:01 PM, Phantom said:

I worry a lot about getting embarrassed because when I get embarrassed, I get SUPER uncomfortable. A lot more than I’m supposed to, I think. It always messes me up during social interactions even at home because I’ll end up super upset over something dumb that I shouldn’t even be hurt by. Because of that, I almost feel like I’m doomed to never make friends.

Hey there,

Ah, I get you; thanks for explaining. I think that being embarrassed can really make us all feel uncomfortable, and I'm wondering, how do you think that embarrassing yourself may impact your ability to make friends? 

[Phantom]

8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Ah, I get you; thanks for explaining. I think that being embarrassed can really make us all feel uncomfortable, and I'm wondering, how do you think that embarrassing yourself may impact your ability to make friends? 

I think that if I embarrass myself, people will think I’m weird and won’t talk to me. I don’t want to make a bad impression.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Thank you for explaining that to me. I wonder, when people have embarrassed themselves in front of you before, how did you think and feel about it?