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Friends leaving me out for no reason and I have become paranoid


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Long story short, my old friendship group started being horrible to me and when I asked what I had done wrong I got told that their issue with me is that I have a lot of friends within the year group. After this issue was resolved, they continued to be horrible and for months have been leaving me out and talking about me in my presence. One of my closest friends is part of this group and has refused to stand up for me as she is scared they will start doing the same thing to her. I have now become paranoid about what they will say next and have no idea what I should use as coping mechanisms for the stress that this is causing me. I do have plenty have other friends who are there for me, and I have told my family, but when I am alone I get really upset and I don't know what to do.

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Hey Jess12,


Thanks for your post and I am happy you shared it here. I know so many people will relate to what you are going through.


The fact that part of their issue with you was you have too many other friends I am not that surprised that they continued to be mean. It is very controlling and manipulative behaviour to not want you to have more friends in your life. I went through something a little bit similar myself and it was tough going. I wrote this article for our blog as being excluded and left out is not only very painful but also sadly very common, have a read here:




You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it. The biggest thing to remember in all of this is that you are not the problem and none of this is your fault. When it goes on for a while we start to feel like we are the problem and that adds to the intensity.


Can you step away from the group? Bottom line you deserve friends that respect you and feeling paranoid around people is a major red flag they are not to be trusted and probably quite toxic in their behaviour. I know it is not always that easy but for now, it sounds like you really need a break from them to recover. Being bullied can really affect how we think of ourselves, have you seen this blog? Have a read and see what you think.




In terms of coping mechanisms, the best one by far is keeping talking about it all. Talk to your friends, to your family, to people you trust, you need and deserve support and there is no shame in saying you are struggling, it isn't easy. Also, ask those closest to you about their experiences with bullying I bet you will be surprised. Sadly most of us will at some point go through something like this and it can be comforting to know you aren't the only one. Did your parents have any advice on what to do?


We are here for you too. Whenever you need to talk/rant/get angry/feel sad whatever you need to do. This is a safe space to talk. Plus our Community is full of people who get it and can give you some support as well. How does that sound?


The last thing I wanted to say was that it's ok to get upset, what is happening to you is not ok and it is upsetting when we are treated badly. Please don't judge yourself for it. Next time it happens you can come on here and talk to us.


Sending positivity and support


This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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Hey Jess,


When I read your post I couldn't believe how similar it was to what I went through last year. It will get better I promise hang in there. I'm on here most weeks and just wanted you to know i get it and you will get through it.



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  • 4 months later...

Omg, i can relate to this. I used to have a group of friends but they would exclude me but now i only have 1 really best friend left but she bullies me too but i cant confront her. Sadly it has not stopped. I do hope your life gets better and you get better friends. In my case i can not really tell my parents or my school about this. Its complicated to explain, but i really do hope that you find better friends and dont get bullied. Try and stay away from toxic friends, they will make you feel happy every now and then but they will bully you much more.

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If I've learned anything, it's that snakes shed skin but will most likely not let anything get under it. These girls are probably not realizing their toxicity because they lack the emotion and mental ability to do so. That's their problem if they gotta be so petty as to exclude you that way and none of them defend you. Don't worry about being in "friend groups" and that jazz, they're just cliques that get you stuck in the python's strangle. Try and find some real folks at your school and don't be afraid to walk away from the fake. Don't feel like you got nowhere to go hon, maybe try hanging out with some of those weird kids, they're usually pretty chill and welcoming.


Best of love to ya

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