Ciara Posted August 20, 2021 Share Posted August 20, 2021 I'm looking for some advice on how to tell my mom I'm Bisexual and nonbinary MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 20, 2021 Share Posted August 20, 2021 Hey Ciara, Welcome to our community! I'm one of the digital mentors here which means I give advice and support to those who reach out to us Before I give you advice on coming out, can I just check, are you ready to tell her? It's totally okay to wait if you're not. There is no rush and you get to decide how your coming out journey goes. Speak soon. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciara Posted August 20, 2021 Author Share Posted August 20, 2021 Hi Monsoon, No I'm not really ready to tell her, but I know I'll never be ready, especially if I keep putting it off, and I know I'd probably end up talking myself out of it every time if I do keep putting it off because it's what I've been doing for the last 5 years since I found out. And thanks for the welcome. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 21, 2021 Share Posted August 21, 2021 Hey @Ciara Thanks for getting back to me so quickly I completely get what you're saying about how you know you will never be ready, and I think that by feeling like you're talking yourself out of it, it can make people want to rush to do it even quicker. When do you think would be best for you to do it? Would you rather do it now and get it out the way, or wait until you feel more ready? I guess that for a lot of people, they never feel fully ready to come out, but can feel more prepared in the future once more time has passed. What do you reckon? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciara Posted August 21, 2021 Author Share Posted August 21, 2021 Honestly, I was hoping I could tell her soon, bc I've been trying to tell her for a while. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 22, 2021 Share Posted August 22, 2021 Hey, Okay, that's fair enough. One last thing before I give you advice, can I ask, could coming out potentially put you in any kind of danger, like getting kicked out or being harmed? If so, it would be best to wait until you can support yourself or have somewhere else to stay while things calm down. What do you think? Speak soon. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciara Posted August 22, 2021 Author Share Posted August 22, 2021 No, and if it does I have a friend that I could stay with. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 23, 2021 Share Posted August 23, 2021 Hey, I'm glad to hear that you've got a friend to stay with if it doesn't quite go to plan. Coming out can be a nerve-wracking experience, and some people find it easier to write a letter or message in which they come out. Would you consider doing this? Writing a letter can take a lot of the nerves away as doing it face-to-face can be the scariest thing about it. So, by writing a letter, they can read it while you're away. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciara Posted August 24, 2021 Author Share Posted August 24, 2021 I think that I'd rather say it to her face. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 Hey @Ciara Okay, cool. I wonder, if I were your mum, what would you say to me when coming out? Maybe you could type it out and we can go from there. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciara Posted August 24, 2021 Author Share Posted August 24, 2021 Id probably just say "mom, I'm bi" and then run away right after saying "I'm also nonbinary". MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 25, 2021 Share Posted August 25, 2021 Hey, I wonder if it could be good to maybe explain a little bit more about how you actually feel, and how long you have been feeling this way for, etc? It might also be good to just let them know how much this means to you and that you really want to be accepted for who you are because it will be key to your happiness. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciara Posted August 25, 2021 Author Share Posted August 25, 2021 Yeah. Now I just need to figure out how to say that. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 26, 2021 Share Posted August 26, 2021 Hey @Ciara Yeah, totally. So, with those suggestions I made, why don't you try writing what you might say to your mum and then we can see how it is? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciara Posted August 27, 2021 Author Share Posted August 27, 2021 That's the thing I still have no idea what I would tell her. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 Hey @Ciara That's okay. So, maybe you could fill it out a little bit more with something like 'I've wanted to tell you this for a while and I've been putting it off because I'm nervous. It's really important to me that I'm accepted for who I am and this means a lot to me...' What do you think? Then you could follow with telling her your news? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciara Posted August 31, 2021 Author Share Posted August 31, 2021 That could work, thanks. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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