Hello! I'm here because..

[iamgaydealwithit]

So yeah, hi. I am here because of my family and my sexuality. First of all my entire family is non-denominational, leaning to pentacostal Christians. They outgoingly will shun the gay, the other day my mother described how disgusted she was at many companies changing their logo to a gay flag (pride month celebration) and she then proceeded to tell us how it is gods promise to never do bad. I am Christian myself and I followed everything my parents said, I despised the lgbtq+ community and outgoingly told people how homophobic I was. My views have changed, because as it says in Leviticus, no eating pork, no shaving the sides of your hair ecsetera. I told this Tomy parents and they said that's in the old testament, those rules thatif committed were considered sins, have been forgiven as the blood of Jesus flowed. It also says being gay will send you to hell in Leviticus... In my culture, we have two main pillars, family and religion, so I am VERY close to all my family so much so that the furthest relative away was a grandmother and grandfather 30 minutes away, the rest were withing 5 minutes. One of my grandfather's is a priest at a heavy and restricted church and my cousins mean everything to me. My father is the most homophobic, he outgoingly says, us men like p*ssy, not c*ck (mind you I'm only 13..). I know for a fact my father would disown me if I come out and maybe a 97% chance I will be sent to a christian conversion camp overseas (my current country of residence is not Christian). I would lose my entire family, I would have no one. So I want to make friends here, so that if I can't anymore, they can support me. I also don't want to be beaten, as that is common in our culture...Please help, this whole thing is depressing, I can't help that I'm gay, but if I am gay, might as well end my life there, am I right? Thank you for reading..

[Monsoon]

Hey @iamgaydealwithit

Thanks for reaching out to us. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give support to our members who ask us for help.

I am sorry to hear that your family are so strict in their views of sexuality. I just want you to know that you are not alone and you have us now. We are here for you.

Based on what you've said, I think that coming out would put you at too much risk, especially with potentially being beaten and sent to a conversion camp. It would be best for you to come out when you're living away from them and you know that you are safe from any kind of harm.  With you saying that being beaten is common in your culture, can I ask, has this happened to you before? I'm concerned for your wellbeing based on what you said about how you might as well end your life. Can I ask, are you thinking about taking you own life? If you are, I know that it may seem like it won't ever get better, but you can get through this. You are strong and resilient. 

If you are feeling suicidal, you can find information on helplines to call anywhere in the world via this link: https://help.befrienders.org/settings/ You can call them if you're struggling and they will be there for you. Please also know that you can go to your accident and emergency department if you're feeling this way and you can speak with us at any time. We are here for you.

Once I know how you're doing with this, I can then support you more. Take care and stay safe. 

[iamgaydealwithit]

19 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @iamgaydealwithit

Thanks for reaching out to us. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give support to our members who ask us for help.

I am sorry to hear that your family are so strict in their views of sexuality. I just want you to know that you are not alone and you have us now. We are here for you.

Based on what you've said, I think that coming out would put you at too much risk, especially with potentially being beaten and sent to a conversion camp. It would be best for you to come out when you're living away from them and you know that you are safe from any kind of harm.  With you saying that being beaten is common in your culture, can I ask, has this happened to you before? I'm concerned for your wellbeing based on what you said about how you might as well end your life. Can I ask, are you thinking about taking you own life? If you are, I know that it may seem like it won't ever get better, but you can get through this. You are strong and resilient. 

If you are feeling suicidal, you can find information on helplines to call anywhere in the world via this link: https://help.befrienders.org/settings/ You can call them if you're struggling and they will be there for you. Please also know that you can go to your accident and emergency department if you're feeling this way and you can speak with us at any time. We are here for you.

Once I know how you're doing with this, I can then support you more. Take care and stay safe. 

Hi, yeah, I used to be somewhat beaten until we moved to a new nation. I think they just became a little more relaxed and envolves with the new culture. Sometimes , but rarely I will get restrained aggresively and held, something given a punch (not very hard, but still hurts) to the arm or shoulder. But I am fine for now, I just try not to fight with them. Our family loves travel, so we love visiting new places. We can't go home this summer so we are going to Greece. For December or spring our plan was Japan, but I am heavily influencing them to try and go to America. I have been to America 2 times, last time was when I was 4. I've also been to Canada when I was very young. America has always been a dream for me and hopefully is I get to go soon (ps our passport is one of the worst in the world) so we'll need a visa and I'll scope out some universities.  I also know, my parents have one gay couple as their friends (they mock them when not around them, even though they are the kindest people I know, I still remember one of them came to our house and gave us two American coins One saying John Adams the other John Quincy Adams and he wanted us to see what the difference is a S a little fun history treasure hunt!) They live in Washington DC and when we visit, I'll tell them, begging them not to tell my parents. When I go for uni, I will go to their house and we'll do a live in person call and I'll break the news, so they can't say anything bad while the are there. And I'll obviously tell them my parents are actually homophobes. Hopefully then I can persue love...I have a crush, he's openly said that he might be gay cause he thinks all people called Chris are hot. I can't come out to him, tell hi. I love him, kiss him, nothing...I feel like I'm falling down a everlasting out of sadness and depression. But I value your concern for me, and I really needed it, I was considering suicide...but luckily I opened this:)

[Monsoon]

 

Hey @iamgaydealwithit

Thank you for explaining your situation to us. I just want you to know that I've messaged you privately to help support you with this. If you cannot see or respond to the message, please let me know here. We are here to support you with this. You are not alone.