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dilanapenarosales    

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im new here so yeah. i have some questions on how to know when its the right time to come out. and like how to start the conversation, like i want to tell my parents but i have no idea how to. please help.

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Heyyy @dilanapenarosales
 

Welcome to our community - it’s great to have you here 👍🏼
 

It’s great that you want to come out, how are you feeling about it? With coming out, some people find it helpful to plan what they’re going to say. I wonder, could you pretend that I’m your parents? If so, what would you say to me? I know I haven’t given tips on what to say yet, but maybe have a go of just doing it from the heart and seeing what comes out? :)

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so like i would tell them this. 

"hey so i have something important to tell you guys. i am not in trouble or anything. its more something about myself as a person. please just know that this isnt going to affects me as a person and that i am still the same person as before. i am bisexual. that means i like guys and girls. and i an sure that this is who i am. what do you think?"

thats just practically what i have in mind but i dont know. i am just confused right now.

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an i guess that i am feeling confident and really nervous at the same time. like i sort of now that they will understand me but and the same time i have no idea how they will react so something like this,

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Hey @dilanapenarosales

I really like your ideas for what you want to say when you come out. How does it feel when you imagine yourself saying that to your parents? It can be worrying when you don't know how they might react, but just know that even for the parents who do have a bad reaction, most of them come round eventually, and they do this out of pure love for their child 😊. Do you think you're going to tell them soon?

Also, if you don't feel ready to come out yet, then its totally fine to wait - just keep that in mind 👍

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i have been thinking about coming a lot more than before but like i just dont feel quite ready yet. but i do feel confident that i am going to tell them soon, 

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Heyyy @dilanapenarosales

That's totally fine that you don't feel quite ready. There really is no rush and you can go at your own pace 👍

Would you like to practice what you might say some more, or do you need any more tips for what to say? 

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Also, @dilanapenarosales, I noticed that you want to talk about the bullying as well, so we can do that here if you like? Bullying is so hard at the time, and it can be hard once it's over too. How are you feeling about it now? 

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On 5/25/2021 at 3:48 AM, Monsoon said:

Heyyy @dilanapenarosales

That's totally fine that you don't feel quite ready. There really is no rush and you can go at your own pace 👍

Would you like to practice what you might say some more, or do you need any more tips for what to say? 

yeah sure

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On 5/25/2021 at 4:02 AM, Monsoon said:

Also, @dilanapenarosales, I noticed that you want to talk about the bullying as well, so we can do that here if you like? Bullying is so hard at the time, and it can be hard once it's over too. How are you feeling about it now? 

so like it happened a long time ago and i have even moved countries and everything. but like every time i remember it just hurts. but like i guess i am feeling better about it but im not so sure.

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Hey @dilanapenarosales

Great! So, what else might you want to say to me if I were one of your parents and you were coming out? Maybe have a read of what you said before and if you feel like you can improve it, go for it. It already looks pretty good to me though! 

Also, I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better about the bullying. It definitely does hurt for a while afterwards, but speaking out about it can really help. If you could say anything to the people who bullied you, what would you say? 

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On 5/26/2021 at 11:55 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey @dilanapenarosales

Great! So, what else might you want to say to me if I were one of your parents and you were coming out? Maybe have a read of what you said before and if you feel like you can improve it, go for it. It already looks pretty good to me though! 

Also, I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better about the bullying. It definitely does hurt for a while afterwards, but speaking out about it can really help. If you could say anything to the people who bullied you, what would you say? 

 

to the people that bullied me i would just ask them why they did it. like what did i do that got them that mad to bully me.

 

and i was able to get the courage and i told my sister, and she was super supportive with it. so with her we planned to tell my parents on june first(because of pride month) so yeah. but you really helped with this. and i read to my sister what i wrote and she it was perfect. but thank you a lot.

 

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On 5/23/2021 at 12:02 PM, dilanapenarosales said:

im new here so yeah. i have some questions on how to know when its the right time to come out. and like how to start the conversation, like i want to tell my parents but i have no idea how to. please help.

hey di, (sorry, idk how to address you so i just went with di if thats ok) i'm also in the closet and i wanted to give a few suggestions on how to come out, because these ideas really appeal to me ^^

1. memes - they make it a lighthearted situation, and it's also a fast way of saying it (cons: they might not take you seriously and just take it as a joke)

2. start with someone you're close to - i plan on coming out to my cousin very soon, because i'm most comfortable with her. make sure to pick someone who you're at least 70% sure will support and love you no matter what, even after you come out

3. planning - plan what you're going to say, wait for the right moment, y'know, the important things take time

 

these are only my thoughts and i'm sure there are other ways of doing it. i hope this helps you!

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2 hours ago, dewberry and stars said:

hey di, (sorry, idk how to address you so i just went with di if thats ok) i'm also in the closet and i wanted to give a few suggestions on how to come out, because these ideas really appeal to me ^^

1. memes - they make it a lighthearted situation, and it's also a fast way of saying it (cons: they might not take you seriously and just take it as a joke)

2. start with someone you're close to - i plan on coming out to my cousin very soon, because i'm most comfortable with her. make sure to pick someone who you're at least 70% sure will support and love you no matter what, even after you come out

3. planning - plan what you're going to say, wait for the right moment, y'know, the important things take time

these are only my thoughts and i'm sure there are other ways of doing it. i hope this helps you!

yess it help me a lot. thank youuu! and yeah its fine you can call me whatever you want.

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6 hours ago, Monsoon said:

how are you doing @dilanapenarosales? glad to hear you found the support helpful :)

i am doing better. i am not feeling as stressed as i did before. and i am doing well with school and i have found new friends that very nice to me. and i am feeling more positive about myself. also yesterday i ran uno to a little mountain and i was able to get really good view of the city and i was very relaxing. but all of your support has been great. thank you so much.

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16 hours ago, dilanapenarosales said:

i am doing better. i am not feeling as stressed as i did before. and i am doing well with school and i have found new friends that very nice to me. and i am feeling more positive about myself. also yesterday i ran uno to a little mountain and i was able to get really good view of the city and i was very relaxing. but all of your support has been great. thank you so much.

aww, glad to hear that you've found the support great and that you're doing better! we are always here if you need more support ☺️

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